Isolation Journal 42

I was a bit groggy getting up this morning and I ended up having to do loads of tidying of the coffee machine to be able to make a coffee.

I had a slice of toast and biscoff spread for breakfast, did my MS Teams and did my forecast and cracked on with searching for a candidate for a role and managed to find 5 by the end of the day as I did a much much wider search.

I had Pilates online at 12pm and had a total of 2 coffees.  During the class I had to get up as Qubit came in with a live mouse, the mouse managed to escape from him and run under the wardrobe, I couldn't get it out, but I managed to rescue it later, I hope it was ok after I let it go outside.

I made bratwurst and potato waffles for lunch and then a candidate called me at 1.30pm so it went cold before I finished eating.  My friend Kirstie texted as she had some cake from her baby shower to drop off, so I had a chat with her at the front door.  I snacked on two mini chomps in my office room.

I then took on 2 new roles for Rachel in my team and ended up working until around 7pm.  My friend Hayley texted me and was in the area and so popped over for a coffee and a catch up in the garden (I put the camping chairs out)  with her husband Flower, they're moving to Whitby and so getting their house ready.  Alan cooked Hello Fresh for tea and it was a tasty chicken fajita.

I then came back in to do some more work and upload CVs onto a portal, it took me 2 hours to upload 4 CVs and it was hard to watch Spooks as I was doing it, so after a while I switched to Catfish and Alan went up to bath and bed.  We did have some Sticky Toffee Pudding and cream beforehand though.

I also swapped messages with the lady who owns North Shire where we got married and are going for our anniversary in September and asked for some advice around Whitby for my friend Hayley.

Alan's app has been loaded for beta testing and so I have asked a few DJ contacts to find out if they can help.  Alan was a bit down today and I feel bad that I've been so busy with work and catching up with friends.

Isolation Journal 39

Alan had booked to go into work this morning so his alarm went off before mine and I was quite groggy.  He went downstairs and Qubit was in the process of killing a mouse.  I was still groggy and sleepy.  He left around 8.50am and my work phone went off at 9am and it was a client, I grabbed a coffee and took on a new role.  It was a 3 coffee day today and I had cornflakes for breakfast.

I then had a lot of work to do, it's been really busy and I had a video interview an my appraisal.  I'd finished writing my appraisal at around 1am as I am a classic ENFP and leave it always to the last minute.

Alan ended up coming home early as a colleague hadn been annoying and inconsiderate and allowed an engineer into the area he needed to be working, he didn't feel safe and so he came home.  

I then had the dinner for lunch from last night for lunch after Alan got home and put the joint of ham into the slow cooker to cook for dinner with some orange juice, mustard, salt, pepper and onion.

I did the interview and then into my appraisal that went well, it's been a tough 6 months, especially since Covid, but I think my boss is realising that I have been able to manage and develop people in a positive way.  I feel much more confident in my abilities as well as I've helped one of my team really succeed well in a very challenging period of time.  We set some goals and I fefel actually very positive about the next few months.

I then was very busy taking feedback on interview for a role that I've been recruiting since February and I arranged some second interviews for next week.

I finished work late, past 7pm and then I went down and made some wedges and got Alan to help me prep a pineapple and put the ham in the oven.  I logged onto Instagram live to watch my friend Lauren's friend Lorraine do her "Cocktagicom" cocktails and comedy session and my convo around Terry Wogan postcards that my Dad had pulled from a skip at the BBC intrigued her enough to get her to add me to instagram live, it was fun!

I finished off dinner, poured a beer for me and Alan and we turned on Freaks which I wasn't overly impressed by.  There were parts like the pop up book that I liked, but some parts were very repetitve and it wasn't a very surprising conclusion, although perhaps I was multitasking.

We then turned on the Jeffrey Epstein documentary series, he's a seriously scary person, I don't understand how he had the time and ability to do what he did.

Isolation Journal 38

Today I woke up early as I'd booked a Covid test at the drive through regional centre at a nearby park and ride for 8am and so I was up at 7.10am which is a good hour and a half earlier than recently and I had breakfast (apple, yoghurt and granola with coffee) and fed the cats.  I'm helping with the app for monitoring my daily symptoms and it asked me to go for a test, so I obliged.  It was different to the other time when I went back in May and had to open my window and had someone swab for me, this time I was given my own test (they dropped it through the passenger window) and I had to put the swab to the back of my throat and also do my nose - it's not a pleasant test.  I then had to drop it into a box next to my window after they'd stepped away.  I got the results back today and it was negative, which wasnt a surprise.

I was back at home for 8.30am and logged on for work at 9am as usual and kicked off with a call and then had a few bits and pieces to discuss with my boss and then a few prep calls for candidates.  I've come to a conclusion that I worry very much about some calls or disputes about things that then distract me from actually getting on with things, I think one thing about lockdown is it gives a bit too much time for self reflection and less ability to form context from speaking to colleagues.  I had Pilates again at 12pm and then Alan cooked rostis and I put a couple of bratwurst in the overn for lunch and then we had them with sriracha mayo - the house smelled like the German market.  We had 2 deliveries when I was doing pilates, one was a surprise from one of the girls in my team a card an some chocolates to say thank you for some of the help I'd been giving her and the other was a box of flowers that I'd ordered from Arena Flowers as a new 2 weekly subscription - some beautiful blue hydragena and they make me happy every time I see them!  There were 6 blooms with eucalyptus foliage and enough for 2 vases.  I also had a lovely print of a runner from my friend to thank me for my help with the council tax - it's been a very good post week.

Work was very busy with a few things to sort out and I also ran the weekly quiz which was based on peoples LinkedIn profiles and guessing people from bits of photos and also from their testimonials.  

Alan cooked dinner which was a hello fresh pork and rice recipe that I later finished off for lunch tomorrow.  The delivery for toilet paper, natural deodorant and soap arrived from Ethical Superstore which was great.

I then finished off a few more things and then got ready for Guides which was at 7pm and needed some water and bowls prepping, I managed to get ready just in time and they had a fun meeting which was about stress and relaxation.  Kirstie did a guided river and leaves relaxation that was great.  

I was aware that Alan hadn't been out for a few days so I encouraged him to go for a run and we did a fairly good pace for around 5K and had a sit down and chat on the lawn before going in and getting showered and after I'd finished off lunch for tomorrow and ate a lollyand  I cleaned the kitchen and then had a shower and turned on my computer to write my appraisal.  

Alan is a bit down so I went and gave him a hug and got Maya to sit next to him.  

Isolation Journal - 36

It was my not day off day off today, but I wanted to be on the first call with Katie who is joining our team so I dialled in and then we had another call at 10am nationally that I dialled in, both of them I was in my run kit and Maya joined in!  I had yoghurt, granola, fig and granny smith and 2 coffees for breakfast.

I did a few bits and pieces of work and came up with an idea for an online work book club - I'm very pleased with the name - Page Turners.

I then went for a run, I needed to catch up to hit my running 1000 miles in a year target and today I got to 503 and needed to be on 500 today so I'm back on track!  I was fairly fast around my circuit of South Milford and Lumby and covered 5 miles in 43 mins.  I felt a bit chesty, but I'm mostly sure it's not covid as I logically wouldn't be able to run sub 8 minute miles if it was ill, I bet it's mostly paranoia!  I got a note from the Covid app because I'd had a bit of a sore throat 2 days ago to say that I can get a test if I want one, even though they don't necessarily think that I will test positive as they want to contrast symptoms reported.

I had a shower and then made lunch for me and Alan - a salad some olives, couscous and grilled halloumi.  I finished listening to "What Alice Forgot" and I really enjoyed this book, although I wasn't sure if the ending was really what I'd hoped for or expected, I guess I was almost hoping for a more twisty ending.

I then got my mask ready and sanitiser and left for my 2.40pm appointment to give blood.  I went to a different site today as it was closer and had parking nearby.  The emails took pains to tell me not to be early and arrive at the specific time so proudly getting out of my car at 2.36pm, putting my mask on and walking the 3 minutes to the donation centre I walked through the door and approached the reception desk.  "What time is your appointment?" the masked lady asked sharply, I looked at my watch "in five seconds" I said smiling behind my mask "you have to wait outside until your appointment time" "but it's 5 seconds?!" "you have to wait outside" so I walked out and then straight back in again at 2.40pm "you have to wait until you are called!" she barked at me, "You didn't bloody say that though!" I thought as I waited in the spitting rain.  She called in the 2.40pm appointments about 2 minutes later and I had some covid questions asked quickly and was instructed to go and wash my hands and then go to the "welcome" desk.  I did so and sat in a waiting area for 40 minutes drinking isotonic drink and watching the lady be short with a few more people, some were slightly more direct with their thoughts on her manner!  I had a trainee take me through to ask me questions and then his manager did my haemoglobin test which was fine, I sat down again briefly and then went to donate which didn't take very long at all.  I then had to navigate a mask alongside my cup of squash and penguin biscuit!  I felt fine and so walked back to the car and drove home and rung my boss on the way.

I dropped a feedback form to the NHS Blood with some suggestions for how they could improve things to avoid the weird situation I was in and then I dialled in for a catch up call with Hayley and Sam which was nice, Hayley has been doing some workshops on zoom which sounds like they are going well.  

I then cooked dinner - Hello Fresh Lamb Curry with Naan and initially I was listening to the High Low Podcast, but then called my Mum and Dad for a chat, they seem to be doing ok and are doing a few walks around the park when it's quiet.  The good news it my Mum has got a new phone and it's an Iphone, so hopefully she'll be able to take and send and receive photos a bit better.

We watched a bit of Mock the Week and then Alan went to record some video for his app and I worked on writing an 8 week training plan for people to get back to running with hyde park harriers and planned guides meeting for tomorrow.

I'm still feeling a little bit chesty and a bit of phlegm and my paranoia about this isn't helping!

Isolation Journal 35

I didn't sleep very well, only about 5hrs 22 mins and I woke up and found that the cats had caught a mouse and were chasing it around, it was still alive.  I caught it, but it managed to escape and got down a crack between the wall and the monks chair.  It's weird, I think Tuesday has become my new Monday, I really struggled, I felt grumpy, stressed, irritable, again I think it's probably PMT.  I had some cornflakes and a couple of coffees.

I did a video session on how to fill out a short order form.  I then had a few more video meets, a national public sector one and then another about temp.  

I felt grumpy and awkward most of the day.  Alan whipped up a salad and some cheese and meats for lunch and I tried to help him with the insurance claim for our BA flight back from Barbados in March.

I was a bit more productive in the afternoon with some good calls and I also wrote a good quiz for Thursday 2 rounds, I think colleagues will hopefully enjoy them.

I had thought about going for a run, but my right buttock was sore, so I haven't gone today and so obviously now feel a bit guilty about it all.

I cooked dinner - a Hello Fresh sausage with bacon jam and salad and sweet potato fries and we had a couple of ice lollies.

I have snacked far too much today on both chocolate, meats and I also had 2 cups of early grey tea.  We watched Athlete A which was horrendous, I can't believe that these girls suffered so much for so long, it was really shocking.  

I added some photos to a photo competition that my running club has been running and watched some cat fish.

Isolation Journal 24

This nearly didn't happen as I managed to fall asleep on the sofa in front of Dirk Gently.

Slept ok, woke up ok, although with massive anxiety about a job that I was matching at work today that I wasn't as far along with as I had hoped.  

Had some cornflakes for breakfast - the milkman had been.  I planned on making a quick coffee before work, but I managed to spill the drip tray everywhere whilst I was refilling the hopper with beans.  Took me 10 mins to clean up.

Today was a 3 coffee day and Alan made some rice and we had leftover bolognase from yesterday and ate in the garden whilst it was sunny.  Qubit got into the next door neighbours bush and meowed and then we picked some raspberries, I cut down some nettles and Alan cut down the elder that was growing in the wall at the back.

2 meetings on Teams today with clients/candidates that was quite productive and some good calls, but just need more candidates for this particular role, it's stressful sometimes when you know there must be another candidate out there, even when you have looked pretty hard.  I had some shortbread as a snack.

I finished later than I'd hoped at work, but managed to download a couple of songs and Alan and I djed for about 2 hours and got thrown off a few times when it detected matching music content.  He used his app a bit which seems to be working well.

It transpires that Katie Hopkins has been permanently banned from twitter today for inciting hatred, I'm not surprised and I'm a bit confused about people complaining about lack of free speech.  It's not that she can't speak and say the same things, but a service provider has chosen to no longer allow them to do it on their platform.  It's like if you were invited to a party, starting upsetting other guests and were asked to leave, it doesn't mean that she can't say these things anymore (although I wish she wouldn't!), but it means they don't have the AI and audience to spam it out to millions of people.

I'd had a rum punch whist DJing and finishing at 9pm neither of us really fancied cooking so we ordered our first takeaway curry since lockdown and our first ever from Saffron on the Just Eat app.  It was really good and it was supposed to take 45 mins so I headed out for a quick run.

I was just going to run up and down the driveway, but the sunset was so beautiful that I ran half a kilometre up to the start of Gorse Lane to take some photos.  The delivery driver arrived as I'd only run about 2 miles and for 20 mins so I took the delivery and went inside.  I left my watch running to tick off 5 vitality points as it only counts workouts if they are longer than 30 minutes.

We watched Dirk Gently and then I fell asleep.

Isolation Journal 23

We had a bit of a rubbish night of sleep as the next door neighbour's had an alarm go off around 1am so we had about 20 mins of trying to check they were ok, we wondered if it was a CO alarm and tried to wake them to make sure they were ok.  They were, but we texted, and then called and then we finally got a text back after wandering around outside for a bit.  The main thing is that they were ok!

This moring I was a bit groggy, but had coffee and banana bread and my first MS teams meeting and then moved onto another MS Teams meeting where I was sharing some knowledge around how to use a particular spreadsheet.  I had a busy day for the rest of the day, but it went by in a bit of a blur, but I did manage to get through all of my job applications that are hugely up compared to previous months.  We also recorded another update video and I did some research into things that have happened in light of Covid that we might see as positive and want to keep such as the fact that working from home as a more common scenario would mean that people with mobility issues are better placed to access some roles that previously might be solely office based and that if offices are refurbished they may install automatic doors to limit touch points and that would also improve accessiblity for people.

I had a pilates class at 12pm which was challenging, but good and as the class started the guys who were coming to look at our roof as we'd had a leak last week arrived about 10 minutes in, so Alan had a chat with them and they started work on the roof and seem to have fixed it for us.  I roasted the leftover chicken thighs from earlier in the week and made a sriracha mayo dressing with some grated carrot, iceberg lettuce, cherry tomatoes and cucumber and mixed it together, I was really pleased with how tasty it was.  Today was a 3 coffee day.

I snacked on a bit of banana bread and some hot cross buns a bit later and had a delivery which was some of the plants I'd ordered from Gardening Direct 3 lovely lavender plants that smell lovely.  I need to work out where to plant them.

I finished work and faffed around on the internet for a bit and realised it was time for guides.  Gem had run the meeting and we had a bit of a scavenger hunt and then another activity for our UMAs and presented some badges.

Alan was doing a lecture online and then cooked tea which was ready as guides finished.  We watched some more Dirk Gentley and I had a glass of malbec and had a pasta bologanase for dinner.

I suggested a walk with Alan to get us out of the house and actually despite all the rain it was a lovely fresh evening with loads of amazing woodland smells.  We walked up to the bench that we can see from our house and that looks down to where we live and chatted about lots of things.  We wondered how in such a short space of time we went from "hug and hoody" to where we are now politically.  We walked back home and it was quiet and there was birdsong.

Isolation Journal 22

It was a day when I wasn't fully signed on at work, so I didn't set an alarm and so naturally work up at 9.22am...only Alan also hadn't set an alarm and so had to leap out of bed and get logged on for work.

I sorted a few emails for work, arranged to pay my service charge for my flat and arranged a meeting with a client for 11am on MS Teams.

I had crumpets for breakfast and made some for Alan and used the coffee flavoured spread on two and meant to do a plain buttered one for Alan, but accidentally put marmite on it and so then made him an extra plain one and I had 3 crumpets for breakfast.  I took the compost out and picked some raspberries for a snack.

I then had my client meeting which was useful and got into my running kit.

I decided to go for a 19KM run as my run club has been doing a run challenge to run or walk 19KM in 19 days in June, but I knew that I'm not having trouble getting out and doing some running, but that I am having a bit of a challenge doing longer distances so it seemed like the perfect challenge as why else would you choose a random figure of 19KM.

I had been planning to go for a walk with my friends son afterwards, but the timings unfortunately didn't line up.

I ran to Fairburn Ings again and this time further along around the first lake that I got to and then towards Castleford following the river, I was going to take a peak at the Kingfisher hide, but it was just a bit too busy so I went back to a less popular route.  At 9.5K I looked around and took a little video and then ran back.  I didn't pause my watch to get an accurate time (although I did for 10 seconds when I got confused and saw a frog!) and it took me around 1 hour 57 to do the 19KM.  I took my camelbak with some shotbloks and had about 3 to keep me going.  I listened to the end of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck as well as a bit of the High Low Podcast.

I then had a quick bath and had some lunch - jacket potato with marmite, butter and cheese.  

I then went upstairs for a nap and snoozed whilst the Daily Briefing was on.  Then my brother gave me a call because it was my second oldest Niece's birthday - she is 4.  She seemed to like the colouring and drawing books that I'd got for her and also showed me a few other things.  I got to see all 4 of my nieces and nephews, it was a busy video chat!  My brother is convinced he had Coronavirus back in March and said that he was less worried about the two oldest going back to school because of this, but he does work in the NHS so it must be a strange time for him.  Alan was on Zwift whilst I was chatting away.

Alan had a pop up green screen delivered that he'd put up and was struggling to put down back into the container, he didn't appreciate me laughing, but it wasn't what I had expected to see when I'd come downstairs.

I then made dinner - pork and chorizo stew with Ciabatta and logged on for a zoom call with my friends Hayley and Sam and we had a good catch up for 2 hours and then I came downstairs and prepped some strawberries and had strawberries and cream and Alan made banana bread which I had a couple of warm slices of with butter.

We watched a couple of episodes of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and then I watched some Catfish.

Isolation Journal 20

Alan got up earlier today to go to his office and was running around as he'd also agreed to take the go pro back to our his work colleague Danielle who leant it to us when we went snorkling in Barbados (we didn't expect to have it so long)  Qubit came running up the stairs and had caught a baby rabbit.  The rabbit was unharmed (although surely scared) and we managed to catch it (well Alan did, even gave it a little stroke) and put it in the laundry basket and set it free in one of the neighby fields.

I had 2 black coffees and a bowl of cornflakes for breakfast and another day of a lot of teams meetings, 3 lots of internal meetings including one quite detailed one coming up with ideas.  

I managed to place a candidate today which was good news, it's been a bit busier over the last 2 weeks, but since lockdown it's been much quieter than usual.  At least organisations are becoming more comfortable with the prospect of recruiting and onboarding remotely.

I had a couple of small potatoes for lunch with cheese, marmite and butter for lunch and a salad of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber with cider apple vinegar, olive oil and salt dressing.  I had a couple of chocolate digestives and a tunnocks tea cake as a snack.

Alan got back after meeting up with Danielle and opened a small package that was from his Uncle Dez and had some old currency that he'd found in his Mum (Alan's Grandma's) belongings.  I'd watched a bit of the Daily Briefing and it seems really odd that there are no scientists around these days.  I also responded to my Mum's face book post that she'd shared of Boris Johnson writing a whole essay about statues, I really genuinely think that people are more important than things (even if the things are made to look like people) I commented that perhaps it would be better if our "prime minister" spent more time on things like looking at the fact that many children will be going hungry over the summer holidays.  I'm very touched by Marcus Rashford who has donated many meals to kids and is campaigning to get some government policy change on this.  I shared these thoughts in response to the Boris Johnson post and got told by her friend Pauline (who I remember as a child being the kind mum of my friend Peter) "So typical of you and you ilk?" although hasn't clarified what she means by this, but given her previous pro brexit anti social justice replies I'm guessing she is all about the statues..

I tweeted This world is confusing, apparently children are important when they are an excuse to drive 260 miles during lockdown, but not as important when they are hungry needing meals throughout school holidays.  Neither are as important as bits of metal and stone made to look like people

Work finished up late around 7pm as I had a few longer calls this evening and a lot of emails to sort through.  Another win on the day was that I'd picked up a role to refer to our sister company which felt like good news.

Alan had prepped the Hello Fresh for Chicken Tikka Masala from last week, accidentally we'd not checked the best before date on the chicken so I swapped it for some we'd got delivered with the Amazon Prime at the end of last week.  

I ate dinner and we watched Scrubs and then after I'd let the food go down I went for a run, I went a little way along towards Newthorpe and as it started to get dark came closer to home and the last 5 minutes I ran up and down the road up to the gateway.  I did just over 5.6K in just over 30 mins.  I listened to the audio book of Suble Art of Not Giving a... quite useful giving all the social media rage going on.

I had a shower in the bath and then had some cherry crumble from last night.

Isolation Journal 15

I was having a very strange dream when I woke up this morning, I was in the process of adopting 4 cats to add to 6 that I owned already in that dream.  The comedian Rob Beckett was driving a very expensive SUV that had crashed into a barrier - it was a very odd start to the day!

I had cornflakes and two black coffees again and started the day with the first team kick off meeting.  

Today was another busy day with MS teams meetings - a total of 6 which is pretty exhausting.  I had lunch around 1pm which was a jacket potato with cheese, butter and marmite and also iceberg lettuce salad.

I also had to run a BD incentive in the afternoon against a background of lots of meetings.  One that I dialled into was for our Unity work incentive prompted by the very recent events and black lives matters protests.  I wanted to dial in to find out more, see how people were feeling and also to know how I can better support people as an ally.  It was really sad to hear some of the stories of my colleagues that had clearly had an impact, but would be very easy for people to not be aware of, even down to a huge focus on how comfortable they felt with their hair.  It made me realise I definitely need to take notice.  I still feel really sad that it was only a matter of a few weeks into my first graduate job when I witnessed very direct racism in 2001.  I was in an office of about 7 people and there was a lady who was in her 50s and whenever a particular consultant from Birmingham called her she would answer the phone with "Hello my little brown friend" the first time I heard it I must have looked up in disgust/shock and I think that she said something along the lines of "she doesn't mind" and at 21 as a university graduate I didn't have the words to challenge even though I was "educated" and and was privaleged.  I would behave differently now, I would find the words and thankfully I would have a route to raise a grievance along the right channels and feel confident that it would be dealt with.  A few weeks later this person opened up a letter in the middle of the office from HR and the issue was addressed, but I always felt deeply uncomfortable and never felt that I'd done what I should have done in that situation.  I know that not having the words isn't an excuse, but what it does make me realise 19 years further on I might have to be the voice for someone in the room that doesn't have the words.

I worked until around 7.15pm to be able to get through what I needed to and to stay on top of emails.  I had a protein bar as a snack, but i'm thinking I might not bother as they taste awful!  Really dusty!

I contemplated going for a run, but I knew Alan was hungry and tired as was I so I cooked tea.  I made the Hello Fresh Sea bass with breadcrumbs, potato wedges, salad, sugar snap peas and tartare sauce.  I chatted to my Mum and Dad as I cooked tea and they were sounding happy having done some gardening and avoiding noisy green parakeets.  I then listened to a bit of the Archers in Lockdown.

We watched What's the matter with Tony Slattery and then some Catfish.

Isolation Journal 11

Supergroggy again this morning, went straight to "work" rather than having breakfast and ate cornflakes and had black coffee around 10am.  Work has been ridiculously busy this week and we've had more jobs come in this week that we would tend to expect in a "pre covid" week.  

I worked solidly on a few tasks and didn't end up having lunch until around 2pm.  I had a jacket potato with marmite and a salad with avocado, tomato, lettuce and carrot sticks. 

I carried on working away and spoke to lots of people and drowned in more emails.  I've really got to get on top of my emails as it makes me feel perpetually anxious when I know that I have too many - today there are over 700 that I need to get sorted.

I've also got lots of prep work that I need to do for the new system that we go onto in July - I've been with the company for over 12 years, so I have a lot of data to get validated and right.  I've also had a work dilemna that I need to sort out and will play on my mind unti l've resolved it, I've not done anything wrong, but someone misunderstood something and I need to explain it in a way that means they aren't unhappy.

I listened to the Daily Briefing which was pretty uneventful other than the fact that more people need to wear masks in more situations (I ordered a couple of masks from amazon this morning) and the R rate is likely to be more than 1 in both the South West and North West.

I finished work just after 6pm and got into my running gear as I wanted to get a run in before I listened another Arvon Reading.  I ran for half and hour and did just over 6K as I still need to get my vitality points.  I managed to have a quick shower and put my clothes on and get ready for the reading.  

This time it was Jo Brand and it was warm and engaging and funny.  I cooked tea as I watched on my laptop and made haloumi with roasted peppers, aubergine, corgette and red onion along with some left over bulgar wheat and brown rice cooked with vegetable stock. I then opened the mint chocolate box that I'd been given for my birthday. 

Qubit has spent the day in the same amazon box and Maya has been in and out all day, she came running in when it randomly started haling.

We watched some Picard and drank some Jim Beam and ginger beer and then moved onto the final series of Friends as my brain needed something easy.  Weirdly my left leg has started to be numb this evening, I hope it's just a weird anomalie, it feels different to when the nerve was really sore.

Isolation Journal 10

Alan slept in the other room last night because he had a cough, although then didn't cough at all in the night and seems to be fine now thankfully.

I got up and made breakfast and had coffee again - we're a bit short on milk so I went for yoghurt, granny smith apple and granola and it was really nice.  

We had our morning kick off meeting and then I prepped for my meeting with a client at 10am with one of my colleagues and it went well.  We've certainly been a lot busier this week which has been positive.

I then did pilates online with my physio with some really tough core exercises.  I had to move Qubit in the Amazon box out of the way.  

Alan cooked some more of our home grown artichokes for lunch with garlic and I had a carrot chopped into batons and then 2 crisp breads with goats cheese and chutney.  

Back to work and a launch call for a BD competition next week and then more calling and then a team quiz which was good fun even if I was completely rubbish.

Alan kindly cooked dinner - pil pil prawn stir fry with rice and brought it up to me and so I came downstairs to eat it, but remembered that my friend Lauren was having a short story read out on the radio and so tuned in just in time - it was really good!

I then had guides online at 7pm and one of our young leaders lead the session by doing an online dance session - it was tough, but really fun and she was so good!  We had some guides join in that had been reluctant to, it's hard to get them all to be comfortable with seeing themselves online, I wish I could help them feel more comfortable.

I read an interesting post from one of my friends about #blacklivesmatter in how she thought her white friends could help support the movement.  One thing she mentioned was how people should unfriend her if they were bigots and my view is slightly different, I won't allow people who are already in a negative echo chamber to increase their own noise, I think it's important to challenge negative views and also see how they are forming the opinions that I may strongly disagree with.

It rained a lot today, but fortunately by around 8pm it had stopped so I went out for about 30 minutes and did 6K.  I didn't mean to go particularly fast, but it was still less than 8.30 minute miles.

I was a bit covered in mud by the time I came back as I splashed in puddles so I had a bath with a lavender lush bubble bar.

I then logged on to do my isolation blog and my computer did some updates and got stuck, fortunately it saved everything!

Isolation Journal 7

First day back at work after a week off today.  I woke up before my alarm and felt groggy as it took me a while to fall asleep and it was pretty late by the time we'd got to bed.  I had 2 coffees and a bowl of cornflakes for breakfast.  I got the milk in from outside, we get 1 pint of whole milk, 2 pints of semi skimmed and one of orange juice and tend to get through it very easily.  I start the day with a MS Teams call so I dialled in at 9am and caught up with the team.  Usually after a week off there is an avalanche of emails and work to get through, but it was half term which usually means it is quieter for me.  I don't usually take half term off, but given we can't go anywhere it was a sensible time to take off and the weather was great.  

The first part of the day was spent catching up on emails and returning calls and then I'd booked a virtual meeting with a new contact and one of my colleagues in the afternoon which went well.  I then as usual fell into a more productive mindset and got far more done in the last couple of hours and in total it was a pretty productive day.  

I read Why We Sleep - by Matthew Walker, well when I said read, I listened to it on the commute to work, well most of it... and one of the takeaways I found was that there are two types of people morning and night people as developed in times when we lived in tribes and had to sleep 8 hours (the ideal amount) and the morning people would go to bed earlier by 4 hours and get up 4 hours earlier.  If you are an "evening" person (definitely me) you are likely to naturally choose a later bedtime so a 9 - 5 world unfairly disadvantages you if you have to get up before you 8 hours of sleep is completed.  Before we were in lockdown I was averaging around 6-7 hours of sleep a night, I'm now closer to between 8 - 9 and generally feeling good for it.  The important thing the book points out if you are an evening person and you get up early is that you if you have 6 out of 8 hours you don't just lose 25% of sleep, you actually lose 85% of the REM sleep as much of this happens in the last 2 hours of your 8 hour cycle.  I'm worried about what will happen when we go back to having to commute how I'll cope on 6 - 7 hours again.

We also had a discussion about when we might be going back into the office, originally it was set to be September, but it could be July and that makes me nervous.  It seemed to make Alan angry as his company are still completely working from home all around the world and he is saying that if I have to go into the office too soon he'll sleep in a separate bed.  Our CEO has said that we won't need to go back in until we feel safe, and no one will be forced, so I don't think that I'll be forced to make a decision about this hopefully.

At 12pm I had my online pilates class and it was really warm!  We had a bit focus on core, I'm terrible at core exercises.  Alan then made some new dumplings for the stew and so I had stew and dumplings for lunch on a very warm day.  I also booked onto a reading and Q&A session with Jo Brand via Arvon on Friday evening at 7.15pm so something cool to look forward to.

I finished work around 6.45 as I was finishing of writing an advert (not my favourite tasks as there are so many drop down boxes to choose!) and I had over 60 applications to my last advert.  

Alan made smoothies with a pineapple, banana and mango that I'd had delivered from Delifresh about a week and a half ago that were going a bit soft.  We took the smoothies and went on a 4.5k walk around the fields and I found a really cool green stone and the light was beautiful and it was really warm.  

I then made a Hello Fresh dinner of roasted pork with lentils and creme fraiche and Alan served up some rum and raisin ice cream, with cream for dessert and I had a glass of white wine that's been open for a couple of weeks that was actually still really good.  

We watched friends and Qubit meowed loudly until Maya came home at about 11pm.

Thoughts around mental health during the pandemic

In the week commencing the 9th March this year I was pretty anxious.  I'm usually bubbling up and down with a bit of anxiety about most things, it's how my brain is hardwired and fortunately age and experience helps me manage it so that it doesn't overwhelm me as much these days.  

This week was a bit different though because I had my usual travel anxiety of going away on honeymoon to Barbados (we got married in September 2019, but had decided to do a proper break in March 2020), anxiety of leaving a busy recruitment desk for a week, still some anxiety around politics and Brexit, but then this new anxiety about Coronavirus.  I knew that I wouldn't be alone in this anxiety, so I shared my thoughts in a blog post at work and on LinkedIn as I know from my role as a mental health champion within work and within my running club that the biggest issues people tend to face when they've contacted me for a chat is that they feel like they are the only ones with odd and unsettling feelings going through their head.  Just helping people understand that they are not alone and should not feel ashamed about talking about how they are feeling is important.  

As Friday 13th loomed when we were heading down to Gatwick to stay over the night before our flight, I wasn't sure whether we'd get to the airport to be turned around and go back home.  We had a few bottles of hand sanitiser and I was stocked up on vitamins and soap in my luggage.  The Virgin Atlantic staff advised us that Barbados were increasing their quarantine restriction levels and there was a chance we could be quarantined upon arrival for 14 days "but we're only travelling there for 10 days?" the lady shrugged and whispered "I'd still fly if I was you".

The flight was calm and pleasant, we washed our hands more frequently and used hand sanitiser before eating and when we landed they heat scanned us as we got off the plane and interviewed us for our movements and symptoms before we were allowed through immigration.  The hotel had a fair amount of hand sanitiser everywhere and from the first evening to the next the buffets went from being unstaffed to only being allowed to have your food put on your plate by a member of staff.  It was a surreal experience of being in a tropical paradise, getting grief from my Mum to fly back immediately from a coronavirus free country and constantly checking the Foreign & Commonwealth page for updates.  We moved onto another hotel for the second of our 3 days and on the morning we were due to check out we had a missed call from a Gatwick number and Virgin Holidays cancelled our "holiday" (basically the next 3 night hotel booking) as they'd not realised we were already in Barbados.  Alan also had a nervous couple of hours when we thought the call was from the airport parking as the app for his car showed it as unlocked (we did manage to lock it through the app remotely).  We then tried to call Virgin Atlantic to see what the advice on our flight was on the evening of the 22nd March, couldn't get hold of anyone after 1 hour on hold.  Alan checked with the insurance company who said they'd cover us for a return flight as the FCO guidance had changed to no non-essential travel.  We logged onto BA and the first flight we tried to book as we clicked "pay" bounced back as fully booked.  Fortunately we managed to get onto a second flight that day at a cost of £1400 each.  We took a taxi to the airport and emailed the rep to say we'd not be needing the second 3 night hotel booking and wouldn't be attending the catamaran cruise we'd booked.  Whilst this is in the scheme of things a very small inconvenience, as I type this out it makes me feel really sad as it really hits home that it was the end of an extended "normality" we had come to expect and enjoy. 

In the plane poor Alan at 6"4 was crammed into an economy seat for the 9 hour flight back with his legs twisted to fit in.  We sat next to an elderly lady who had been staying in Barbados with friends for an extended break of several months and was due to fly back on the same day we were, but her daughter had booked her onto an earlier flight out of concern and I shared my hand sanitiser with her as we ate our meals.  The way my anxious brain works is that I still think about this very transient acquaintance and hope that she's still ok.

We landed in Gatwick had no checks other than a self service passport scan and collected our luggage.  We found our way to the carpark and set off home picking up Alan's brother's dog on the way as he was staying with a friend whilst his family were on holiday.  Their holiday was also cut short and they had a more complex return.  The roads were busy and the service stations didn't seem to have clicked that people should be socially distancing. 

Since then it's been almost like we've been in a film.  I went on annual leave and haven't been back into the office ever since.  My smart shoes are under my desk at work, my rice cake snacks are in the drawers going stale and I've not seen any of my colleagues in person for over 2 months.  I've not even driven into Leeds at all, in fact in over 2 months I've driven a total of 25 miles and I sometimes go and look at my car to remind myself that it's still there.

At the moment we hear the phrase "we're all in this together" trotted out, but I reflect on this and think of the other analogy used that "we're all in the same storm, but not in the same boat" and feel that is a more true view of the Covid world.  

When Alan and I decided to move in together and we found a house in a more remote rural location of our lovely village in South Milford I don't think we ever imagined that we'd spend all of our time here and quite so much time with each other.  Fresh back from honeymoon we are fortunate that we both love and like each other and so our lockdown together has been relatively conflict free.  We don't have children and so we are able to focus on our own needs without the challenge of balancing household chores, working from home and home schooling.  Many people I've spoken to have described the guilt to me of deciding whether to focus on work or home schooling and until recently whether to go out for their own exercise to clear their head or take a walk with their family - thankfully this situation has been eased a bit with the updated restrictions.  

We have been fortunate that we can get all the groceries that we've needed via the amazing drive through farm shop near by at Bert’s Barrow, click and collect from Tesco as well as our usual evening meals through Hello Fresh.  We are also in a remote location so at anytime of day I can go for a walk or run and social distancing isn't a problem. I'm incredibly grateful that whilst my work and income has suffered as a result of Covid - 19, I still have a job to occupy my time and an income that covers my outgoings.  For me this is a massive comfort as I don't do well with too much time on my hands or without sufficient distractions.  Most of all I'm incredibly lucky that I've been mostly symptom free and in good health and so far most of my family, friends and acquaintances have been too.  However, sadly I know a few people that I know who have both had Covid and have recovered, but also those who have not been as fortunate.  I think about these people often and have no idea of what I can say to offer comfort in these impossibly physically distant times.   

This week is mental health awareness week with a theme of kindness (a major prompt for me to get some sort of blog out at last) and it's also the week I enter a new decade turning 40 on Tuesday.  During my 40 years I've experienced depression, anxiety, OCD and self esteem issues, 8 weeks into lockdown and a global pandemic I'm doing ok.  Back at the beginning of April I read this article and certainly some of what was written really echoed with me - having a long track record of dealing with mental health challenges I have managed to develop a tool kit of skills and methods to help me keep as even a mood as possible.  In brief these are:

• Regular exercise that has me break a sweat
• Getting some fresh air, daylight and looking at views/nature
• Eating as well as I can - fresh fruit and veg and not too much sugar 
• Avoiding too much caffeine and alcohol
• Getting a decent amount of sleep
• Regular social activity with friends
• Craft / creative outlets (time away from screen)
• Limiting social media / news
• Volunteering - spending time focussing on others 

As soon as we arrived back home I knew that I needed to be quite strict about these and so I've generally been sticking close to this plan each week.  I've not necessarily done all of them perfectly, but doing as many as I can as often as I can as I know that if I don't look after myself it's easy to fall into bad habits and then a subsequent bad mood.

One of the universal struggles that I think everyone has is that the old "rule book" has been suspended.  For those of us with self esteem niggles (indeed even those who have never had any self esteem issues may find the current world more difficult) we might have validated ourselves by competing in races or running with friends and knowing that we can keep up with a certain person or in a particular running group.  At work in my recruitment sales job you'd compete with an external competitor and beat them to a candidate or a job and chalk up a fee on the board, or you'd be used to billing the most in an office, a region or a discipline you could be "better" than others or the "best".  In both of these areas we are the *same* people we were before, we are as skilled or fit as we were before and can put in the same amount of effort, but we are likely to not be experiencing the same outcomes.  Does this mean we are no longer worthy?  Does that mean we are all now bad at our jobs or running?  Have we no longer got what it takes to be successful?

Someone once coined the phrase "form is temporary, class is permanent" and I think that is certainly true now.  Individually we can't control what happens with the global response to this virus, we can't control whether the lockdown remains or is lifted and whether this is the *right* thing to do.  We can look out of the window and get angry with those people we see not socially distancing (for this I found this article a very useful read).  We can get in rows with people on social media.  We can get into a spiral of thinking that makes it impossible to step out of the door for a run or pick up the phone and make a call.  Worst of all we can get stuck in a funk without our friends and colleagues noticing and asking how we are or just being around in a better mood to lift our spirits by osmosis. This is one of the hardest things we are likely to face and we must draw on all the resources we have available to help ourselves get thorough it together.  Whilst we are physically distanced it's important to be socially connected.  

I've never before spent quite so much time staring at my own face (or indeed quite so little time wearing no make- up!) on video calls and it is not the same as personal interaction.  I know from my own personal circadian rhythms that my energy levels in the mornings are lower than the afternoons and evenings, but that meetings in person energise me - unfortunately I don't get the same energy boost from a video call and in fact find these can be more energy draining.  However, it's not about beating myself up for feeling this way as we aren't comparing the same things here, it's about working out how to operate more effectively in this strange world.  It's about trying something different and working out what is best for you.  Here are a few ideas about what has helped me with work.

• As tempting as it is to stumble from bed, into your clothes and in front of the laptop, try and go outside, even if for a few seconds so that you punctuate the start of your day with some natural light and fresh air.
• Every hour get up and walk away from the screen - usually you'd make a coffee, chat to a colleague, meet a candidate or client or at least stare into the distance - avoid eye strain and general stress.  As a plus you can put the dishwasher on, or stroke your pet!
• Try to plan your day so you aren't bouncing from video call to video call - it's exhausting, try and plan some activities in that boost your energy levels.
• Have a decent lunch - again eating outside, getting active or at least getting daylight will help keep your energy levels up.
• Don't let work bleed too much into your evening - if you have something good happening, don't feel guilty about doing a bit of extra work on it, but if your day hasn't been going as well as you'd hoped don't drag it out feeling more and more frustrated.  Finish your day, plan some easier calls for first thing and get a good night of sleep.
• If you have something more admin focussed and are finding it hard to concentrate, listen to some music, I find that it "switches on" different parts of my brain.
• Importantly talk to people.  Usually after that rude or grumpy client call you'd turn to a colleague have a moan and crack on, but instead we can only grumble to the cat who quite frankly probably isn't that bothered!  Don't bottle it up, try and talk regularly to colleagues and your manager about the good and the bad and help support colleagues if you think they are having a tough time.
• And finally - how do you measure success?  This is a tough one as ultimately my job is still to place candidates, even if I have far fewer jobs to work on, I still need to create revenue.  I've been doing my job long enough to know what a good day of work looks like and how it feels so I'm trying not to be too arbitrary around numbers and just putting in a good day of work and reflecting on what the positives have been - a positive call with a new contact, a hint of a new job that might come live - breaking down all of the component parts and doing them as well as I can.  By controlling what I can, when things do improve, I'll be ready to make the most of the situation.

I don't have all the answers, but I do know that whilst we are physically separated, it's more important than ever to share what we are finding hard, what we have found helps and showing each other we are not all alone.  

It's Mental health awareness weak and the theme is kindness so try your best to remember to be kind to yourself and others.