Isolation Journal 121

I woke up at 7am with a plan to go to work, but Alan was really nervous about me going based on how poorly he was and how likely he thought that it would be that I'd pick up Covid and the annoucements from last night, so in the end I worked from home and had an extremely busy day.  I had cornflakes and coffee for breakfast and started work at 8am.

I started off with processing some emails and catching up with Rachel on my handover, I then had a meeting with the internal audit colleague to help him sell a retained process.  I then had a number of calls to catch up with Katie and then a number of candidates.  Alan made aubergine and miso tacos for lunch that were delicious.  We then had a meeting about some of the learns that we'd made from the new system and then I prepped for my meeting with my client about the shortlist and the videos that I'd made.  The meeting went well and we shortlisted 3 candidates for interview next week. One of the trustees was in his camper van in a field.

The map I ordered for Alan's Anniversary present arrived and also we had Hello Fresh arrive today.

I had a discussion with my boss about the debate on how, who, when people in the team should be in the office, I'm really nervous about it.

It was really rainy today and I debated going out for a run, but I've had a really heavy chest, sore throat and this evening I've felt really tired and a bit dizzy, I'm hoping that it passes quickly.

I worked unti 8.30pm and then had dinner with Alan who I was relieved cooked again and made a very tasty spicy soup and I came down to eat it and we watched Dave on TV and then I carried on doing more work mostly writing adverts and processing a few emails.

It's now past midnight, I'm exhausted and should probably go to bed...

Isolation and Not so Isolation Journals 116, 117, 118, 119 and 120

116 - Friday was a whirlwind, Rachel was back from holiday and I had a short period of time to quickly handover with her before another call at 9am to discuss additional Covid protocols in the office and then I had another interview with a candidate and then a very busy day prepping for not being around for 2 days next week.  I had a catch up with Katie and Rachel for my handover and then I finally finished up around 9pm having had to upload all the CVs for my retainer and send all the links for the Hinterviews.  I also had a dilemna about what to do with a particular role, but I came up with a workable solution in the end thankfully.  We then had a late dinner of takeaway Chinese which did take ages to arrive and then I was very tired and went to bed after I think watching some more Dave on TV.  I also eventually managed to finally order a present for him at last and ordered a personalised OS map (paper!) centred on where we got married at North Shire.

117 - Saturday - we woke up and Alan decided to tell me that we had to go and "collect" my anniversary present from somewhere in South Yorkshire, so we had some coffee and some quick cereal and set off and he drove down the A1 and eventually after a guessing game I managed to guess Worksop as where we were going.  We got there after around an hour and he'd sponsored an area of woodland for me at Hannah Park via the Woodland Trust which was a lovely present.  We wondered around and found the patch that was dedicated and it was a lovely place with lots of different types of trees and birds and lots of people walking their dogs.  Amusingly as we walked towards the entrance there was a friendly little dog that kept saying hello and I was almost convinced that Alan had adopted it for me!  We drove back home and then had a relax at home with an idea that I wanted us to head back to Eccup Resevoir where we ran our first "date" 5 years ago.  We got there fairly late on in the afternoon, but had estimated we'd have enough time to be able to get around before sunset and we just about managed it with a jog walk around the 4 miles.   We got home and then I made tea which was a Hello Fresh spicy veggie coconut curry soup and I also prepped some of the very many apples that our neighbour Anna had kindly given us for the Apple and Roasted Garlic chutney  I then tidied as much as I could and organised things for travelling to North Shire tomorrow after making 5 litres of the chutney and putting it all in jars - it was past 1am by the time that I came to bed.  I cleaned the fridge so that I could ask our neighbour who was feeding the cats to put the milk away for us.  

118 - Sunday - I woke up at a reasonable time and spent a good chunk of time tidying and cleaning the house after packing and we set off to drive to Bempton Cliffs and I drove in Alan's car.  It's not far, but lots of slow winding roads and took us over an hour and a half to get there.  The weather was calm, but not too sunny or windy and we strolled along the edges of the cliffs and saw a fisherman who had scaled down the cliffs to fish, lots of gannets and a potential seal (fortuantely we'd brought the binoculours this time!) we stopped off and I had a sandwich and Alan some millionaires shortbread (he was disappointed that it was vegan) and a couple of teas and then Alan drove us to North Shire and we arrived just after 4.30pm.  We walked straight to Hagrids and the key was in the lock for us and we settled in and ended up cooking some pizza for tea, drinking the champagne that my work colleagues all bought for us when we got engaged.  We watched Dave and started a very hard 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle which was extremely tricky!

119 - Monday - the weather was lovely when we woke up and we made breakfast which took a while in the convection oven - we baked sausage and black pudding for about an hour and ate it with tiger bread and BBQ sauce outside and enjoyed the lovely sunny day that wasn't quite as warm as our actual wedding was exactly a year ago.  I wanted to go for a run and suggested I could do that whilst Alan had a bath, but then I'd also suggested that we visited Runswick Bay as we'd never been in any of the times that we'd visited North Shire and so we drove out and it was only about 13 minutes drive.  We found a car park that unfortunately had a broken card machine and so we put all the coins I had into the machine and got an hour, but we weren't sure if that would be enough, luckily I spotted that you could use the Ringo app to pay and we took a picture in case we needed more time.  It's a really stunning beach although a good steep walk down, and quiet as no busy shops or food stalls and so we walked along paddling in the sea and looked at the rock pools and saw different seaweed, anemones, little fish, crabs and later on Oystercatchers.  We then moved inland so that Alan could sit and sort out the parking and spotted a load of rocks that had fossils in them, we tapped away and found some great ammonites and also found some fools gold.  We then started to head back up the beach and spotted a crack next to a water fountain and a chap told us that it was 300 steps up to the top, so we climbed up the cliff path and looked at the stunning view.  We then had to top up the parking again and headed back up to the car.  Once we got to the car I was craving fish and chips, but couldn't find any on the way although we did stop at a COOP and I grabbed salad leaves, lollies, drinks and raspberries and it was the first proper shop I'd been in ages and no one was doing the one way system right!  We got to the fish and chips place I'd found on the map, but it was closed, but Alan spotted it on Just Eat and so we decided to try and order later.  We got back and it was still lovely and warm and we bumped into the new manager and had a chat about how business had been for them in the past few months and the fact that they weren't doing a pick a pumpkin patch again this year as it was too stressful last year!  I went for a run and explored a few of the little public footpaths and found that the road wasn't too good to run along, but managed to clear 4 miles in a decent time and then got in the lovely copper bath for a relax and Alan ordered us fish and chips for delivery.  We did more work on the jigsaw and then ate fish and chips outside, the peacocks were after me and I managed to spill the gravy and peas on the floor and Alan had to keep chasing them away!  We had some nice pink Moet with our dinner and watched the sunset and then went inside to watch a DVD - Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey and then move Dave and struggled with the light on the jigsaw puzzle before I rested on the sofa and started to fall asleep.

120 - Tuesday - we had planned to walk up Roseberry Topping today, but Alan woke up with ear ache and feeling rubbish so we relaxed at Hagrid and I tidied up, packed and had breakfast and then at 11am we checked out and I drove us home as Alan wasn't feeling good and didn't even eat breakfast.  It took about an hour and 40 mins to get home and at one point an angry Network Rail van driver beeped and gestured at me as I stopped at a roundabout before driving on!  When we got back we unpacked and Alan went almost straight away up to bed for the rest of the day.  I tidied and unpacked and then dealt with a few work bits whilst watching The Social Dilemma which was really though provoking and made me turn off a lot of my notificatios.   I then went for a run - I had time and daylight so I decided to do 10k which I managed in 53 mins and 9 seconds which is probably the fastest all year and I then decided to run for a full hour and managed nearly 7 miles.  I managed to listen to a further 1 hour of the Wind Up Bird Chronicles and only have 2 hours to go!  I'm behind by about 7 miles from my 1000 mile target so I'm hoping I can catch up over the next few days/weeks.  I came back and had a bath and read some more of Fabulous and only have 1 story left to go.  I bottled some more Kombucha and watched the 8pm speech from the Prime Minister which is a bit odd as now he's saying if you can work from home to work from home, so I'm not sure what the means for me, although our company line is that we work better in offices so to try and continue to be in the office, so I'm going in tomorrow, much to Alan's frustration.  I made a jacket potato and salad for dinner and ate it watching Great British Bake Off and made some lunch for tomorrow and found bugs living in the tiger bread and so had to throw that out.  I'd managed to get Alan to eat some strawberries, raspberries and cream, but he's still feeling poorly.

Isolation Journal 109

I woke up fairly well at 8am and then got up and went to feed Fudge and Smudge, and Maya and Qubit and then I grabbed some cornflakes and coffee and logged on for work.  The milkman came a bit after 9am and Qubit managed to bring both a nearly dead mouse that he killed quickly and then a poor dead rabbit that Alan checked was definitely dead.  

I had a very busy day and got through a reasonable amount of work in the morning, I've got jobs to match, admin to do and clients to keep in up to date.  I'm still behind on emails and general organisation, but  I'm hoping I might be able to catch up over the weekend.

For lunch I had the dinner to lunch from Hello Fresh the night before and had a muller corner yoghurt in front of the computer. Maya lay next to the keyboard for most of the day.

The Delifresh order arrived about 30 mins than they'd said at 2.20pm and they'd delivered plain flour when I'm sure I'd ordered self raising flour.

I finally signed off at 7pm at work and discussed with Alan what he wanted to do for dinner and he wanted takeaway so I went out for a run for 30 mins and did just over 6K slower than the past couple of days as my left big toe joint is still hurting.

We ordered from Tokies and I had a Zeus Pizza with some curly fries and milkshake called "Hi honey I'm home" I had a very long bath and read some Facebook drama as the place where we got married had had a family staying and had complained at the end of their stay that there was a problem with the mattress and were aggressive to the manager and were getting all their friends to leave false negative reviews.  It's so sad as tackling things like that is not good for anyone.

We watched some Dave TV after Alan had finished watching Middlesborough lose to Watford one nil.

I went to finally book my Arvon course for the week off that I'd booked, but it's sold out...I'd just read 3 of the stories in the Lucy Hallett Hughes Fabulous booked and loved them and was keen to book, but now I am on the waiting list and I'm sad as I don't know whether to try and book something else, cancel my week off or just take the week and try and crack on with my own writing.  So frustrating.

Isolation Journal 106

I got up at 8am and fed all the cats including a quite quiet Fudge and Smudge and then had some cornflakes and coffee and had a few bits and pieces to sort out and send CVs for a job (that I later found didn't arrive and I had to resend).

I ran a brief training session for Luke and Katie S on candidate exclusivity and then I worked on finding more candidates for a few jobs.

The Kombucha book that I'd ordered arrived and then for lunch we had some more rice and chickpea patties.

The day in general was reasonable productive as I confirmed the details of my placement and did some admin as well as joined in on a BD afternoon on the temp side and had a meeting with PP to discuss shared clients. Alan went to the dentist for more fillings at 2.20pm and came back a bit groggy.

I finished work around 6.30pm and Alan needed to drive his car for a bit of a run out and he googled some interesting places and we went to Skipwith Common and aimed to be back at 8pm for the Amazon delivery...only we realised when we were walking that I'd not completed the order, so it will be now arriving tomorrow morning instead!

We got home and Alan fed Fudge and Smudge and I made tea - Caprese Pasta by Hello Fresh.  We then ate in front of the TV and watched Dave with Katherine Ryan featured on a number of different programmes.

They announced this evening that they are going to be banning gatherings of more than 6 as of Monday, it's a good thing that I visited my parents when I did and that we planned guide meetings online only.  We were due to be going to a celebration before we had our wedding anniversary at North Shire, but I'm not sure that it will be able to go ahead.

I swapped a few messages with my brother, both my neighbours, my Mum and Gem from guides!

Me and my brother are worried in particular about my Dad as he seems to be very bored at the moment, we're not sure what to do, but hopefully we'll help him find a few more ideas.  

Isolation Journal 98

We ended up not going to bed properly until around 3am so we woke up about 10am, and just had a lazy morning in bed and got up around 11am, mostly prompted by Maya bringing up a mouse that she'd eaten like an apple with the just a "core" remaining.  I put some washing on and Alan started to make some lunch.  We had a delicious aubergine and okra taco recipe that we'd previously had from Hello Fresh and it was really lovely.   I also hoovered and mopped most of the floors.

We watched Friends and then more Storage Hunters whilst we ate and then we went out for a cycle up to Fairburn Ings and back home via Ledsham.  Annoyingly as my heart rate was low for the 52 mins of cycling it didn't even register as points on my Vitality!  It did change my garmin training status to "peaking" that was positive.

We had hot cross buns and a cup of tea and watched some more Storage Hunters.

When we got back I did some more tidying up and Alan went up for a bath and I went to take the compost out, remembered that I'd not planted my pansies that arrived earlier in the week and so I quickly planted them out in any place I could fit them after doing some weeding, hacking back the artichokes (I needed to saw the stems with a bread knife!) and then removing the old tent greenhouse frame that had gone rusty.

I then cooked the Hello Fresh BBQ and had to swap the chicken as it went out of date on the 28th, the beef was the 29th, but was ok and I made the 2 salads and chicken korma and koftes.  I also made some rice with beans for my lunch so that I'm all safe tomorrow with my own food.  Alan made us a JD and ginger. 

We ate and started to watch Zoolander, but Qubit turned it off by accident and so we watched some John Oliver and Modern Life is Goodish and then I finished off cleaning up the kitchen and changed both sheets on the bed.  I listened to more of "The Wind Up Bird Chronicles" as I was doing the chores.

It's now nearly midnight and I'm feeling pretty anxious aboutt getting enough sleep for work tomorrow, hopefully it should all be ok.

Isolation Journal 93

I woke up fairly early and read some more of The Midnight Library as I really am excited by what I'm reading.

I had some cornflakes and coffee for breakfast and had a morning of sorting out of things and a few teams meetings.  I'd also prepped for a lunch and learn I was delivering with a colleague on Mental Health Awareness for managers.  

Alan made a pasta bake for lunch which was really nice and I then delivered the session with my colleague.  One of the questions asked annoyed me basically "How do you know someon has a genuine mental health problem?" it annoyed me because people assume some people claim to have mental health problems and don't and my view is that if someone is that desperate...they are likely to have a real mental health problem!

The afternoon is fairly productive, I had a bit of an issue in that our forecast for the team has gone backwards it's been quite frustrating and a fairly difficult month, although I did sign off on the final part of a retainer which is a better way to end the month.  I picked up another job for another colleague which was good.  

I finished up work around 6.45pm and then went for a walk with Alan and we spotted Qubit as we were leaving hanging out in the field near the road with cows in it, we tried to call him in, but he wouldn't come so instead we went for our walk and chatted and saw beautiful sunlight over the wheat fields and saw someone parascending and we walked back through the public footpath through the fields.  We saw Qubit again and eventually managed to encourage him into the house.  

We needed to get home before the Tesco delivery at 8pm and so we made sure we got back and Qubit went back towards the door and started to hassle Fudge and Smudge from number 5, so I had a chat to Kirsty and said that I could feed the cats when they are away on holiday and told her that I'd return "Little Fires Everywhere" and would lend her "The Midnight Library"

I made Hello Fresh for tea, a premium recipe of steak with black garlic butter and mash and a salad and I had a fruit corner cheesecake yoghurt for dessert and a Rowntrees fruit pastle lolly.

We watched storage hunters and then tried hard to feed the worming tablets to the cats, I got one into Maya with cheese, but she wouldn't take the other half and Qubit we had to team up to get it down his throat.

Isolation Journal 92

I grabbed a coffee before signing on for the call this morning and then had some cornflakes as well.  It was pelting it down with rain really heavily and so the cats were a bit cautious about going out.

The morning was reasonably productive, although there was a lot of adminy sorting out of stuff to do. I am nervous going back into the office, but I do think it will help me feel a bit more engaged.  I made lunch again and we had the same as yesterday - sausages, potato waffles and chard, but I also made some quick hassleback potatoes that were really delicious and dead easy to make.

We had a kick off for our temp BD session and I also had a D&I Unity champs session which was enjoyable. 

We had another teams meeting and then I had a request for a meeting with a client where I've hopefully successfully sold a retainer.  

I had a headache and felt pretty tired and so when Maya kept lying on my keyboard at 6.30pm I called it a day and finished up.  

I went out for a run and just about got done without getting rained on - and just before I headed out spotted a worm that had got out of Qubit's bum - I've now ordered worming tablets for him!  I ran 6.5K and was reasonably on track, but my status is now down as unproductive!  

I listened to the With Me Now podcast on the run and then had a quick shower before cooking tea which was a Hello Fresh pizza recipe with some black bean salsa.  I listened to more of the Wind Up Bird Chronicles and then we watched Jon Oliver "The Night Tonight" and then some "Storage Hunters" and had an ice lolly and then some of my birthday present dark coffee flavoured chocolate.

I also ordered a lightning cable from Amazon as my apple charger is on the way out.  I tidied up the kitchen after tea.

Isolation Journal 85

12 weeks and one day of journaling every day, I wonder how long I'll keep this going for?  Today I woke up early again as we'd made it to bed at a reasonable time and had read a bit of Matt Haig's - The Midnight Library - it's really good!  I had nearly 8 hours of sleep and I went back to sleep for an hour and then got up for a quick shower.

Breakfast was cornflakes and it was a two coffee day.

Kicked off at 9am and then had a meeting with some other colleagues at 9.30am and then a client meeting/interview with a really great candidate at 10am that went on for an hour and twenty minutes.  I had calls and emails from my boss whilst this was going on with "are you in today?" but obviously I couldn't respond. 

I then had to prep 2 candidates for interviews that afternoon and prep for a national meeting, I was glad I prepped as they asked for my update first and I'm not sure I did a very good job, I hope I did ok.

I realised at 3pm I'd not had lunch so quickly made a sausage sandwich with lettuce, tomato and some cucumber with mayo and sriacha.  Alan is still feeling poorly and so he just had some toast.

I finished work eventually at 7pm, it was a long day and I really wanted to try out my new trainers that arrived and they were great - I ran my first KM in 4 minutes 19 and my first mile in 7.08 and they felt so good on my feet!  I did 5k in 24.34 which is my fastest for a very long time.  I listened to more of the Wind Up Bird Chronicles.

Alan made Hello Fresh for tea and it was a pasta bake and there was enough to save a portion for tomorrow lunch.   I tidied up the kitchen, lounge and dining room and set off a load of washing.

We watched Peep Show and then I had a shower and filled the bath for Alan and then got distracted when he came into my office looking at beds as he wants a more comfy bed and so we tried to find a good storage bed that is Super King Size.

We then started to have ideas about loft beds in the spare room that would give us more storage space so we wouldn't need a bed with storage space...

Isolation Journal 84

Alan woke up at least an hour earlier than we needed to be up and so he went downstairs and I snoozed for another hour and listened to headspace to get back to sleep.  I had two slices of toast and marmite for breakfast and 2 coffees.  Alan is still feeling bad with his ear and lack of sleep, but the GPs are being really careful with who they'll see.

We had a kick off meeting and it was quite productive and then I caught up with Rachel as she was in the office today, but couldn't get logged onto the call.  Alan was on a call and Qubit brought in a mouse and put it in his shoe, so I had to rescue it for him.

I booked a good candidate meeting for tomorrow morning and then I dealt with some of the work for Katie who is off on holiday.  It was a busy day and I made a few calls for myself and then got downstairs and did pilates online.  I've still got the leg nerve issue and so I was taking it easy, but it wasn't too painful.

We had reheated Chinese leftovers from Friday evening for lunch and then I had a peach as a snack a bit later on.

I had a few more MS Teams meetings and managed to land an offer for Katie which was good news.  It got sunnier later on in the day so I opened the window and Maya got out on the flat roof and then climbed next door and tried to get in Ally's window, I managed to encourage her back with some more treats.

As I finished my last MS Teams meeting I then realised I'd picked up another 16 jobs, although none for me, it seems to be a trend.

Good news is that the government has u-turned on the A'level results and so hopefully a lot of the affected students will still be able to go to their chosen University.

I worked through until 6.30pm when I loaded up Zoom and we logged on for a team building activity of a virtual escape room.  I'd chosen one with a rogue CEO who was being investigated, I'd selected "Advanced" and it was really hard!  It took about 2 hours and I had a glass of fizz and Alan cooked dinner which was a hello fresh meanball sub.  

I then watched more Storage Hunters, cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floors and had a bit of cheese and a chocolate ice lolly.

Isolation Journal 77

I didn't sleep very well at all, I kept waking up just as I was drifting off and I think it was only about 6 hours or so in the end.  I had cornflakes and 2 coffees for breakfast and I picked up the milk, orange juice and eggs and brought them in.

I logged on and had a catch up call with both Rachel and Katie and then had a morning of sorting out emails and then I signed on for Pilates and at the end had a chat with David about the weird nerve thing that is happening to my left leg - basically when I was shaving my legs the other day I noticed the nerves all over my foot tingling like mad.  He didn't think that it was anything to be too worried about, but recommended roll downs and prayer stretches.

I had reheated pasta bake for lunch and then also lots of water!   I arranged a team meeting for our team and the colleagues who look after the more junior end of the market.  We then had a client meeting and then I interview prepped a candidate.  I finished the day by placing a candidate into a job, I was especially pleased as we've been tryinig to help her since I found her a role about a year ago and she couldn't start as she'd had a stroke.  I was really pleased to hep her.  I even managed to send out a LinkedIn search for Rachel.

I finished off at 6.45pm and went for an easy run of 6.5K and then cooked Hello Fresh for dinner which was potato wedges with steak strips and mushroom and red wine sauce with green beans.  I took all the recycling out and the flowers were past their best and put them in the green bins.  I listened to Wind Up Bird Chronicles by Haruki Murakami whilst out on my run and cooking - I'd listened to a good few hours whilst commuting, but not for about 6 months, so I'd started from the beginning again.  We watched Peep Show and ate dinner and 

I then had a shower in the bath and I called my Mum back and suggested I could try and visit them although she sounded uncomfortable.  We ended up down the odd conversation topic that she was saying she is 94% English DNA, and no African DNA, I pointed out all of us are likely to be from the same, very likely African DNA, but then she started saying we are all descended from Adam and Eve, very odd.  My brother texted to say that he'd ended up getting the job he'd applied for as the external candidate had turned it down.  We then chatted for about 45 minutes and.  He was suggesting I might be better to stay at his and I think that should be fairly safe as he's very careful and has definitely already had Covid even though he tested negative for the antibodies 4 months later.

I followed up on twitter as I was due to have a flash fiction prompt from Tania Hershman but it hadn't arrived via stupid hotmail, so I had to follow up and she kindly resent it for me.  

Isolation Journal 75

We woke up at a fairly decent time, shortly after 9am. Alan made us coffee and a hot cross bun each and we watched some more Peep Show.

I then tided up the kitchen and the dishwasher hadn't been cleaning well so I ran it on a rinse cycle and did a load of washing.

For lunch I made a salad with dressing of ginger, honey, sriracha, olive oil, mayo and salt and pepper and cooked some sausage rolls.  

I felt quite low energy and dizzy today, I stood up really quick  and nearly passed out first thing.

I listened to more of "I Heart Vegas" as I was doing chores and then watched a bit more TV.  Alan is still feeling poorly with sore ears and just feeling really weak.  I'm not sure how best to help him, but I fed him some of the vitamins I've been taking - vitamin D and a "megavit" from Holland and Barrett.

I went upstairs and messed around on my phone before getting my "Little Fires Everywhere" book out and had a good read.  Last night I'd also ordered Girl Woman Other from Fox Lane Books that is my most local independent bookshop, it was more expensive than Amazon etc, but I'm keen to support them. 

I've definitely been feeling premenstral with levels of rage bubbling away and today I had stomach cramps and finally my period arrived.

Alan made tea which was Hello Fresh and Haloumi with lentils.  And we started to watch Greyhound, but I was really struggling to concentrate that wasn't helped with Qubit came running in and panted like mad.  Moments later I spotted a facebook post from the neighbours about an injured rabbit and then the Amazon shopping arrived and Chris our neighbour explained that Qubit had brought in a rabbit and it was stuck under a bush.  Between us we managed to get the rabbit out and it hopped away into another field.  I took the recycling out, moved the bins down from being stored on top of each other and spotted Kirsty looking at the rabbit and trying to scare off one of Anna's cats from going for it!  We had some ice cream and Qubit licked te bowl out.

I tried to focus on the film, but couldn't so went for a run at 9pm.  Sunset was at around 8.50pm and it got dark quite quickly, but I got around my run quick enough to be able to do it in the light and I appreciated not having to do lots of intervals up and down the driveway.  I ran about 5.8K in 31 minutes and my VO2 Max went up to 51 and I'm still "productive" with my training.

I then watered the plants and I ran a bath and got stuck for ages playing Pokemon go.  I came down and watched a bit of Frasier with Alan and had a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and a lolly and I put on "Lose a stone in 21 days" as a lot of people are talking about it.

Isolation Journal 69

I woke up fairly early at the sound of one of the cat toy flapping fish on the landing, but I managed to fall back to sleep again and then woke up about 9.30am and messed around on my phone until Alan woke up.

I got up and the house was a mess!  It was on the to do list to tidy and so I started tidying whilst Alan made strawberry compot and eggy bread.  I made some coffee and we sat outside to eat.  I planted some of the strawberries that were too far gone to hopefully grow some more strawberry plants.  The kids from number 10 kept leaning over the wall to say hello and their parents kept telling them off, but I didn't mind.

I then worked out how to tie up some of the raspberries that are falling over using some twine and attached it to both a pipe and one of the artichoke stalks.  I did some weeding and pulled up some nettles.  I took all the recycling out and rearranged the bins so that the full ones were at the back next to the wall and the empty ones were easier to access.

I'd been a bit anxious about how to deliver my garmin to Curtis who won it in the auction and I decided to take off Thursday as annual leave and also visit Hayley, I hope that he doesn't mind too much waiting.  He topped up the bid to £50 and I put an extra £25 in to the food bank.

I then set about tidying up the lean to bit next to the porch where the coat rack had fallen down months ago.  I sorted the coats and then found a few things for Alan's work and moved his golf clubs into the garage.  I also found the box of gin bottles with lights that we'd never got around to using at the wedding.  I'd got them ready for the evening, but didn't have time to put them out onto the tables and I still feel a bit sad and guilty about it as one of my friends had gone to the trouble of finding them.  I recycled some of the gin bottles and put the rest in the garage and hopefully I'll be able to use them for a belated 40th party next year at some point.  I downloaded I Heart Vegas by Lindsey Kelk on audible to listen to as I tidied.  I've read 3 of her books previously when my friend Philippa mentioned them too me as Lindsey had stayed with her around 10 years ago in Hollywood as she was friends with our school friend Catherine.  It's easy to digest and fun so far, Lauren has been reading her latest book and tweeted her last week so it reminded me to look up some of her other books.

I made some lunch of salad and cheese and jamon and chutney and again we sat in the garden to eat it and I came back in to carry on tidying up.  Alan fixed the coat rack in the porch.  I got distracted eating the end of my lunch inside watching Catfish and some weird urban explorer stories such as in the Bondi Beach Club in Leeds.

My new keyboard and laptop stand arrived and it's noisy and clacky and shiny and the stand is great too.  I set up my laptop upstairs and worked a bit more on a short story I'd started last night.

I finished off hoovering and mopping the lounge and the kitchen and then at 6.30pm we decided to go out for a cycle with Alan and we went up to Bishopswood which was 9.75K away and then we walked around in the forest for about 40 minutes and then back home.  It was a warm evening and the traffic was nice and quiet.  The wood was  not too busy, we met a few dogs being walked and saw some interesting mushrooms and some lords and ladies. 

When we got back I finished tidying up whilst Alan cooked a Hello Fresh meal - Lamb, cinnamon and feta penne and prepped an apple crumble.   I helped by grating the butter into the flour and making the crumble bit.

I poured us a couple of beers and we watched 2 episodes of Spooks and I finished mopping the floors and I assembled the crumble and put it in the oven and made us a couple of drinks of port.

We finished off watching Peep Show.  It's nearly 10 weeks that I've been journalling, my mental health seems to be positively impacted, but I'm not sure Alan is doing as well and I'm not sure how I can help him.

Thoughts around mental health during the pandemic

In the week commencing the 9th March this year I was pretty anxious.  I'm usually bubbling up and down with a bit of anxiety about most things, it's how my brain is hardwired and fortunately age and experience helps me manage it so that it doesn't overwhelm me as much these days.  

This week was a bit different though because I had my usual travel anxiety of going away on honeymoon to Barbados (we got married in September 2019, but had decided to do a proper break in March 2020), anxiety of leaving a busy recruitment desk for a week, still some anxiety around politics and Brexit, but then this new anxiety about Coronavirus.  I knew that I wouldn't be alone in this anxiety, so I shared my thoughts in a blog post at work and on LinkedIn as I know from my role as a mental health champion within work and within my running club that the biggest issues people tend to face when they've contacted me for a chat is that they feel like they are the only ones with odd and unsettling feelings going through their head.  Just helping people understand that they are not alone and should not feel ashamed about talking about how they are feeling is important.  

As Friday 13th loomed when we were heading down to Gatwick to stay over the night before our flight, I wasn't sure whether we'd get to the airport to be turned around and go back home.  We had a few bottles of hand sanitiser and I was stocked up on vitamins and soap in my luggage.  The Virgin Atlantic staff advised us that Barbados were increasing their quarantine restriction levels and there was a chance we could be quarantined upon arrival for 14 days "but we're only travelling there for 10 days?" the lady shrugged and whispered "I'd still fly if I was you".

The flight was calm and pleasant, we washed our hands more frequently and used hand sanitiser before eating and when we landed they heat scanned us as we got off the plane and interviewed us for our movements and symptoms before we were allowed through immigration.  The hotel had a fair amount of hand sanitiser everywhere and from the first evening to the next the buffets went from being unstaffed to only being allowed to have your food put on your plate by a member of staff.  It was a surreal experience of being in a tropical paradise, getting grief from my Mum to fly back immediately from a coronavirus free country and constantly checking the Foreign & Commonwealth page for updates.  We moved onto another hotel for the second of our 3 days and on the morning we were due to check out we had a missed call from a Gatwick number and Virgin Holidays cancelled our "holiday" (basically the next 3 night hotel booking) as they'd not realised we were already in Barbados.  Alan also had a nervous couple of hours when we thought the call was from the airport parking as the app for his car showed it as unlocked (we did manage to lock it through the app remotely).  We then tried to call Virgin Atlantic to see what the advice on our flight was on the evening of the 22nd March, couldn't get hold of anyone after 1 hour on hold.  Alan checked with the insurance company who said they'd cover us for a return flight as the FCO guidance had changed to no non-essential travel.  We logged onto BA and the first flight we tried to book as we clicked "pay" bounced back as fully booked.  Fortunately we managed to get onto a second flight that day at a cost of £1400 each.  We took a taxi to the airport and emailed the rep to say we'd not be needing the second 3 night hotel booking and wouldn't be attending the catamaran cruise we'd booked.  Whilst this is in the scheme of things a very small inconvenience, as I type this out it makes me feel really sad as it really hits home that it was the end of an extended "normality" we had come to expect and enjoy. 

In the plane poor Alan at 6"4 was crammed into an economy seat for the 9 hour flight back with his legs twisted to fit in.  We sat next to an elderly lady who had been staying in Barbados with friends for an extended break of several months and was due to fly back on the same day we were, but her daughter had booked her onto an earlier flight out of concern and I shared my hand sanitiser with her as we ate our meals.  The way my anxious brain works is that I still think about this very transient acquaintance and hope that she's still ok.

We landed in Gatwick had no checks other than a self service passport scan and collected our luggage.  We found our way to the carpark and set off home picking up Alan's brother's dog on the way as he was staying with a friend whilst his family were on holiday.  Their holiday was also cut short and they had a more complex return.  The roads were busy and the service stations didn't seem to have clicked that people should be socially distancing. 

Since then it's been almost like we've been in a film.  I went on annual leave and haven't been back into the office ever since.  My smart shoes are under my desk at work, my rice cake snacks are in the drawers going stale and I've not seen any of my colleagues in person for over 2 months.  I've not even driven into Leeds at all, in fact in over 2 months I've driven a total of 25 miles and I sometimes go and look at my car to remind myself that it's still there.

At the moment we hear the phrase "we're all in this together" trotted out, but I reflect on this and think of the other analogy used that "we're all in the same storm, but not in the same boat" and feel that is a more true view of the Covid world.  

When Alan and I decided to move in together and we found a house in a more remote rural location of our lovely village in South Milford I don't think we ever imagined that we'd spend all of our time here and quite so much time with each other.  Fresh back from honeymoon we are fortunate that we both love and like each other and so our lockdown together has been relatively conflict free.  We don't have children and so we are able to focus on our own needs without the challenge of balancing household chores, working from home and home schooling.  Many people I've spoken to have described the guilt to me of deciding whether to focus on work or home schooling and until recently whether to go out for their own exercise to clear their head or take a walk with their family - thankfully this situation has been eased a bit with the updated restrictions.  

We have been fortunate that we can get all the groceries that we've needed via the amazing drive through farm shop near by at Bert’s Barrow, click and collect from Tesco as well as our usual evening meals through Hello Fresh.  We are also in a remote location so at anytime of day I can go for a walk or run and social distancing isn't a problem. I'm incredibly grateful that whilst my work and income has suffered as a result of Covid - 19, I still have a job to occupy my time and an income that covers my outgoings.  For me this is a massive comfort as I don't do well with too much time on my hands or without sufficient distractions.  Most of all I'm incredibly lucky that I've been mostly symptom free and in good health and so far most of my family, friends and acquaintances have been too.  However, sadly I know a few people that I know who have both had Covid and have recovered, but also those who have not been as fortunate.  I think about these people often and have no idea of what I can say to offer comfort in these impossibly physically distant times.   

This week is mental health awareness week with a theme of kindness (a major prompt for me to get some sort of blog out at last) and it's also the week I enter a new decade turning 40 on Tuesday.  During my 40 years I've experienced depression, anxiety, OCD and self esteem issues, 8 weeks into lockdown and a global pandemic I'm doing ok.  Back at the beginning of April I read this article and certainly some of what was written really echoed with me - having a long track record of dealing with mental health challenges I have managed to develop a tool kit of skills and methods to help me keep as even a mood as possible.  In brief these are:

• Regular exercise that has me break a sweat
• Getting some fresh air, daylight and looking at views/nature
• Eating as well as I can - fresh fruit and veg and not too much sugar 
• Avoiding too much caffeine and alcohol
• Getting a decent amount of sleep
• Regular social activity with friends
• Craft / creative outlets (time away from screen)
• Limiting social media / news
• Volunteering - spending time focussing on others 

As soon as we arrived back home I knew that I needed to be quite strict about these and so I've generally been sticking close to this plan each week.  I've not necessarily done all of them perfectly, but doing as many as I can as often as I can as I know that if I don't look after myself it's easy to fall into bad habits and then a subsequent bad mood.

One of the universal struggles that I think everyone has is that the old "rule book" has been suspended.  For those of us with self esteem niggles (indeed even those who have never had any self esteem issues may find the current world more difficult) we might have validated ourselves by competing in races or running with friends and knowing that we can keep up with a certain person or in a particular running group.  At work in my recruitment sales job you'd compete with an external competitor and beat them to a candidate or a job and chalk up a fee on the board, or you'd be used to billing the most in an office, a region or a discipline you could be "better" than others or the "best".  In both of these areas we are the *same* people we were before, we are as skilled or fit as we were before and can put in the same amount of effort, but we are likely to not be experiencing the same outcomes.  Does this mean we are no longer worthy?  Does that mean we are all now bad at our jobs or running?  Have we no longer got what it takes to be successful?

Someone once coined the phrase "form is temporary, class is permanent" and I think that is certainly true now.  Individually we can't control what happens with the global response to this virus, we can't control whether the lockdown remains or is lifted and whether this is the *right* thing to do.  We can look out of the window and get angry with those people we see not socially distancing (for this I found this article a very useful read).  We can get in rows with people on social media.  We can get into a spiral of thinking that makes it impossible to step out of the door for a run or pick up the phone and make a call.  Worst of all we can get stuck in a funk without our friends and colleagues noticing and asking how we are or just being around in a better mood to lift our spirits by osmosis. This is one of the hardest things we are likely to face and we must draw on all the resources we have available to help ourselves get thorough it together.  Whilst we are physically distanced it's important to be socially connected.  

I've never before spent quite so much time staring at my own face (or indeed quite so little time wearing no make- up!) on video calls and it is not the same as personal interaction.  I know from my own personal circadian rhythms that my energy levels in the mornings are lower than the afternoons and evenings, but that meetings in person energise me - unfortunately I don't get the same energy boost from a video call and in fact find these can be more energy draining.  However, it's not about beating myself up for feeling this way as we aren't comparing the same things here, it's about working out how to operate more effectively in this strange world.  It's about trying something different and working out what is best for you.  Here are a few ideas about what has helped me with work.

• As tempting as it is to stumble from bed, into your clothes and in front of the laptop, try and go outside, even if for a few seconds so that you punctuate the start of your day with some natural light and fresh air.
• Every hour get up and walk away from the screen - usually you'd make a coffee, chat to a colleague, meet a candidate or client or at least stare into the distance - avoid eye strain and general stress.  As a plus you can put the dishwasher on, or stroke your pet!
• Try to plan your day so you aren't bouncing from video call to video call - it's exhausting, try and plan some activities in that boost your energy levels.
• Have a decent lunch - again eating outside, getting active or at least getting daylight will help keep your energy levels up.
• Don't let work bleed too much into your evening - if you have something good happening, don't feel guilty about doing a bit of extra work on it, but if your day hasn't been going as well as you'd hoped don't drag it out feeling more and more frustrated.  Finish your day, plan some easier calls for first thing and get a good night of sleep.
• If you have something more admin focussed and are finding it hard to concentrate, listen to some music, I find that it "switches on" different parts of my brain.
• Importantly talk to people.  Usually after that rude or grumpy client call you'd turn to a colleague have a moan and crack on, but instead we can only grumble to the cat who quite frankly probably isn't that bothered!  Don't bottle it up, try and talk regularly to colleagues and your manager about the good and the bad and help support colleagues if you think they are having a tough time.
• And finally - how do you measure success?  This is a tough one as ultimately my job is still to place candidates, even if I have far fewer jobs to work on, I still need to create revenue.  I've been doing my job long enough to know what a good day of work looks like and how it feels so I'm trying not to be too arbitrary around numbers and just putting in a good day of work and reflecting on what the positives have been - a positive call with a new contact, a hint of a new job that might come live - breaking down all of the component parts and doing them as well as I can.  By controlling what I can, when things do improve, I'll be ready to make the most of the situation.

I don't have all the answers, but I do know that whilst we are physically separated, it's more important than ever to share what we are finding hard, what we have found helps and showing each other we are not all alone.  

It's Mental health awareness weak and the theme is kindness so try your best to remember to be kind to yourself and others.