How #runandtalk helps me

Overjoyed after reaching the end of 91 miles of walking Hadrian's Wall path!

I work in recruitment, or rather I did work in recruitment, at the moment I'm having a small break which is giving me much needed time to do a few very important things and one thing I wanted to do was to tell people a bit about it.  

I don't think that my life is especially noteworthy, but the reason I wanted to write this is because I've been a mental health champion both within work, but also within Hyde Park Harriers and the one thing that is clear is that whilst we have numerous days marking "Mental Health" and the conversation is much more open than when I started my career 20 years ago, it's still clear that some people will be going through incredibly challenging times alone and thinking they are the only people feeling that way.  It's important for people to talk, but it's also important for them to be able to listen and realise that they aren't a terrible individual for feeling like they do because actually others feel the same.

The first thing I always say is that is that mental health isn't a competition and this is something really relevant in Covid times as the vast majority of us have had some pretty awful things happen in the past 18 months and if *your* experiences don't feel as worthy as others to be sad or depressed, but you still can't bring yourself to go out for a run, speak to a friend or even brush your hair it doesn't mean you don't have the "right" to feel sad.  Sometimes it's harder to tackle mental ill health when there isn't an obvious cause so the best advice I can give is that if you aren't feeling yourself or you notice that you are avoiding things you used to enjoy doing regularly, please start a conversation with someone whether that's a good friend, family member, a colleague or a professional.  Likewise if you notice someone you know is behaving differently a simple check-in of how they are or inviting them for a walk can make more of a difference than you might imagine.

So back to me.  I've worked within recruitment for 20 years as of the 1st October this year and during that time I've had barely any time off ill, not missing a single day when I had broken my shoulder and was typing one handed for weeks and on very strong pain killers.  Discovering that I have low self esteem in 2017 (which was cleverly disguising itself as my assuming I am a competitive person) I would be likely to be overperforming in work if there was more horrible stuff that I was having to deal with outside of work.  Work was escapism and a place where generally if you worked hard you'd get validation, that you were a worthy person by beating colleagues on monthly sales league tables. I even went into work to sell a retained advertising package for a senior role less than 24 hours after being mugged in the work car park and was most likely mildly concussed after being hit on the back of the head twice.  

Recruitment is always a competitive industry and to a certain extent I thrive in this environment. Certainly in covid times I was always grateful to be working throughout, even if it was flat out at home with the physical boundaries between work and home removed.  I was notching up 50 - 60 hour weeks with nothing to distract me away from the laptop with hundreds of emails and tasks to be done.  I worked for a well established large recruitment firm since 2008 and I led my small team through the  covid crisis and we started to break records.  I was consistently anxious, worried and finding the world a challenging place, but work remained a safe place for me and I knew I get paid at the end of each month.

In January this year there were a few changes and that is the norm in large recruitment businesses.  I had a new boss who I'd not really met or worked with before and we went straight into the 3rd lockdown.  I don't know why exactly, but this new relationship didn't work.  I carried on doing my job and my team continued to perform really well, but in Februrary I noticed I was waking up every morning with a headache.  This wasn't a new thing as I have had this before when I've been under stress and would typically go when the stress dimished, but as time went on in March I was still struggling and even focussing on my laptop screen was a challenge in the morning.  

In March I went to see a fellow HPH for an eye test and all was normal and so I called my GP who was rather unhelpful and suggested it was because I had too much screentime.  I knew that this was unlikely to be the issue as the headaches were very recentl and I was fortunate to be able to use a my health insurance for a private GP appointment who referred me to a neurologist.  In June I had MRI brain scans which were all clear and was diagnosing with chronic low level migraine and prescribed Amitriptyline that acts as a preventative medication taken about an hour before bed.  The challenge many people have is that it can make you very drowsy the following morning and not being a morning person already, it did make the first couple of hours of work very challenging

The headaches were slightly better, but still there and alongside this I had begin to realise after doing a little health, wellbeing and purpose audit as a result of reading Dr Alex George's book - "Live Well Every Day" (and no I've never watched an episode of Love Island!) that change was needed for me in work.  I identified that my key passions and purpose revolve around health and wellbeing, nature and conservation and helping and supporting people.

I started to consider a few different options, but nothing progressed very quickly and things started to get more challenging at work when it was very clear that there were quite deep misunderstandings between myself and my boss.  Running alongside the challenges at work over the summer were a number of family issues with my immediate family who all live 5 - 6 hours drive away.  My Dad was suddenly diagnosed with a silent stroke and Parkinsons and over the space of a week lost mobility to walk without shuffling and use fine motor skills and then two weeks later my brother had some serious issues with his young family as well.  

I take some responsibility for the challenges at work as I'm sure I could have made more proactive efforts to build a better relationship with my new boss, but when I noticed I was being excluded from meetings, I asked for a catch up and it was clear that my longer term aspirations and the company plans for me were totally different.  I proposed some solutions of what I could do that were being considered, but then early September I got back from leave to discover some very major changes had happened, but that no one had told me.  After a discussion with my husband Alan we concluded that I should resign from a job that I had for a long time and had provided me with significant financial and personal security without anything lined up to go to.  

Over my lifetime I've had different strategies to manage my mental health including talking therapy and at one point I was on various anti-depressants for 12 years, but drawing upon past experience. I felt very strongly that how I was feeling this year was my mood responding to a situation and that if I could change the situation my mood would improve without needing to use anti-depressants.  (I would like to re-emphasis that there is nothing wrong with using anti-depressants, but I personally wanted to make sure on this occasion I'd explored other solutions first)

First Tuesday was of course #runandtalk day and I was looking forward to relaunching in-person #runandtalk and whilst I was naturally feeling worried about everything that was going on, I knew that a run with friendly people would make me feel better and it really did.  We ran, jogged and walked around the city centre on a warm evening chatting away and taking time to smell the roses and look at some beautiful landscape photographs outside of the town hall and I knew that whilst I was making a scary change, I had people around who were really supportive and that I'd be ok.

Rolling forward 6 weeks and I'm in a very different place.  I managed to hand everything over at work which was a challenge as I had a lot of pre booked annual leave and so only had 14 working days to finish everything and my last day of employment conincided with me completing the Hadrian's Wall Path walk (91 miles in 7 days)  Spending time being active in nature and beautiful surroundings with Alan was exactly what I needed and guess what - the headaches have more or less disappeared entirely!  I now have something new arranged that I'm looking forward to starting and my anxiety over the years had forced me to save up a bit of a rainy day fund (one "benefit" I suppose of always catastrophising everything from being pre-disposed to anxiety!).  For now I am in a very fortunate position to enjoy resting, focusing on my health, spending time with Alan (cooking him lunch every day!), trying hard to complete writing my novel that I started last year, helping my family and getting ready for a fresh start.  

I've not really talked much about running in this post (and I've done a lot of it this year to help with headaches and my mood), but then much like parkrun for me #runandtalk is more about the talking than the running.  It's about getting out of the house, into the fresh air and moving your body and noticing the world around you whilst being around friendly and supportive people.  You don't even really need to talk, I'm sure there have been people who have come along and said very few words, but go away feeling that they've done something positive with their evening and that can sometimes be far more important than people would imagine.

#runandtalk will mean something different to everyone, but as one of the Mental Health Champions for HPH I want it to be somewhere you can come to be active and social (even if that's not talking, but just being around people).  In our sessions we've talked about everything from our favourite type of biscuit to some more mental health specific topics, but no one is forced to disclose anything they aren't comfortable in doing and it's always good fun.  I share my experiences not for pity or praise, but because I hope to make a difference to that person who doesn't feel like anyone else could begin to understand what they are going through, that might have lost hope and I just want to create a friendly and safe community who will be there on the first Tuesday each month to offer support.  I am fortunate that I love running, I love talking, I love being outside in green spaces and I loving supporting people and so being a #runandtalk mental health champion and even a regular HPH leader helps me enjoy all of these elements and if any of this has resonated with you then please come along to the next #runandtalk session on the 2nd November we'd love to have you there.  If you're interested in becoming a Mental Health Champion you don't need any specific qualifications, just ideally lived experience of mental health either personally or through supporting someone else and willingness to give it a go - get in touch if you want any more details or have any questions.

In the meantime, I sincerely hope everyone is doing ok, but if you are struggling, please reach out to someone or if you don't feel you have anyone to talk to - here are some helpful contacts:

• Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).

• SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).

• National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7).

• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

• The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994 (3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.

• Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (weekdays 10am-10pm, weekends 2pm-10pm and bank holidays 2pm–10pm), email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07786 209 697.

• Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.

• Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email chris@switchboard.lgbt or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.

• Helplines Partnership. For more options, visit the Helplines Partnership website for a directory of UK helplines. Mind's Infoline can also help you find services that can support you. If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.

Not so Isolation Journal 132

Annoyingly I woke up at 6.30am and my alarm was set for 7.10am and so I didn't fall back to sleep again and we'd been up until around 1am looking at our childhood vaccination records online.

I went into the office again today for the morning, Alan is still uncomfortable with me going into the office with Covid cases rising, I find I'm constantly torn because I do feel that the office is very much as Covid safe as it could be and I feel less cluttered and more focussed when I'm around colleagues, but I totally get that it feels very unsettling in terms of the fact Leeds it currently Tier 2.

I had a meeting with colleagues, did a handover and caught up with people and then headed back home shortly after 12.20pm and it took me around 30 mins to get back.  I wanted to be back to see how Alan had got on at the nurse appointment, but it wasn't hugely productive.  She just looked in his ear.  I had some carrot and coriander soup and a pannini for lunch and logged back on .  We did a BD session and I managed to clear around 250 emails, but had 400 to get through and I've got a load more stuff to get through, it's relentlessly busy again.  I also had a last minute client meeting with 3 clients at a company which was pretty useful.

I booked the first week in November off as leave and signed up and paid for an Arvon Course which I'm really looking forward to.  I have also ordered a book by each of the tutors Wild by Jay Griffiths and Addlands by Tom Bullough They are both more nature and landscape, which isn't directly relevant to my novel, but is something that I'm really interested in.

I ran a candidate search until around 8pm and Alan made dinner which was pulled chicken burgers and I then had 2 ice lollies.  

We watched Taskmaster and tried to go to bed a bit earlier.

Isolation Journals 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128

 So I've got a bit out sync, I'll try and summarise....

123 - Friday - Work was busy, Rachel was on holiday, I persuaded Alan to go out for a walk at lunch to pick up my prescription and it was windy, when we got back onto Whitecote Lane we found a tree that had fallen down and blocked the road and one of the trees in Andy and Becci's paddock was also losing a branch so I had to call North Yorkshire County Council to report and sort out the tree in the road.  I managed to finish work just in time to walk down to the Thack and pick up some Fish and Chips for dinner before they go on holiday.  It was windy, but I chatted to my Mum and Dad as I walked.

124 - Saturday - I woke up fairly late and then put my running stuff on and wrote a letter in reply to my Aunty Alison and Ron who had sent me and Alan an Anniversary card and I posted it on my run.  I took an epic photo of Maya looking like she'd written a disapproving letter.   Alan made orzo pasta for a very late lunch and then after I'd had a bath we went out for a walk and then he made a rice pudding which we had for "tea" and then we went to bed.

125 - Sunday - Another late rising and I mostly faffed around before deciding to go for a run and I wanted to do over 10K and so I did and managed a reasonable time.  We then had another late lunch, I made Korean Tacos and then had a bath and tidied up the house and mopped the floor whilst Alan went out for a run.  

126 - Monday - I'd negotiated with Alan to go into the office for the morning as he is uncomfortable with me being there the whole day and so I went in for the morning, only drank water that I'd brought with me and we have a one way system and lots more sanitiser.  It felt safe, but I went back at lunchtime and logged on from home and finished off another very busy day.  My extra beer 52 delivery arrived.

127 - Tuesday - worked from home all day, made waffles and scrambled eggs for lunch and in the evening some meatballs and spaghetti for tea and had a couple of beers and then we went for a walk in the dark along Whin Lane.

128....Will catch up tomorrow!

Isolation Journal 122

I woke up reasonably eearly, but was pretty groggy and it took me a while to get going, although I was logged on at 8.30am   I had crumpets with marmite and 2 coffees for breakfast.  We had a meeting at 9am to discuss working from home v. the office and then a seminar with housing finance professionals via MS Teams.

I managed to catch up with a bit of work, but I'm still not on top of things.  I updated the forecast which is looking a bit better and certainly brings us further forward than we have been.  

I didn't have time for lunch other than grabbing the packed lunch that I'd made from Tuesday evening and it was salad with a pepperarmi and a scotch egg and I had some kombucha that I'd forgotten about.  I then did a quick open demo on the new system on the reports function that was useful.

My flowers from Arena Flowers arrived after lunch so I had a 10 minute break to empty the old flowers and arrange the new ones which were chrysanthemums with some jazzy purple foliage.  They look cheerful.

I then powered through with work, picked up 2 new jobs and arranged a meeting, helped Rachel put a booking on and talked about referrals with Katie and booked a candidate meeting and confirmed people to come to the charity webinar next week.

I finished at about 6.30pm and Alan had made a Hello Fresh Pasta dish for tea and then I ate it and logged onto Zoom for the guide meeting which was fun as we had a guest speaker which was a lady called Rosemary and her Guide dog Una, it was really eye opening to hear about her experience and how actually she said it's good if people ask if a blind person needs help as especially at the moment people are keeping their distance. Una has her own facebook page!

I then went out for a run up and down the drive as I didn't do a great deal of moving around either yesterday or today and I ran just over 5K and my training status is now unproductive apparently.

I then had a tidy up of the kitchen and the dining room, ran a bath and chatted to Lauren who is on a writing holiday by herself in Margate and ended up bumping into someone she'd been on 2 dates which twice who was also on a holiday there to write!

Isolation Journal 121

I woke up at 7am with a plan to go to work, but Alan was really nervous about me going based on how poorly he was and how likely he thought that it would be that I'd pick up Covid and the annoucements from last night, so in the end I worked from home and had an extremely busy day.  I had cornflakes and coffee for breakfast and started work at 8am.

I started off with processing some emails and catching up with Rachel on my handover, I then had a meeting with the internal audit colleague to help him sell a retained process.  I then had a number of calls to catch up with Katie and then a number of candidates.  Alan made aubergine and miso tacos for lunch that were delicious.  We then had a meeting about some of the learns that we'd made from the new system and then I prepped for my meeting with my client about the shortlist and the videos that I'd made.  The meeting went well and we shortlisted 3 candidates for interview next week. One of the trustees was in his camper van in a field.

The map I ordered for Alan's Anniversary present arrived and also we had Hello Fresh arrive today.

I had a discussion with my boss about the debate on how, who, when people in the team should be in the office, I'm really nervous about it.

It was really rainy today and I debated going out for a run, but I've had a really heavy chest, sore throat and this evening I've felt really tired and a bit dizzy, I'm hoping that it passes quickly.

I worked unti 8.30pm and then had dinner with Alan who I was relieved cooked again and made a very tasty spicy soup and I came down to eat it and we watched Dave on TV and then I carried on doing more work mostly writing adverts and processing a few emails.

It's now past midnight, I'm exhausted and should probably go to bed...

Isolation Journal 114

 Woke up ok, apple, yoghurt and granola for breakfast.  A busy morning of calls and emails and doing some more video screening.  I also had a few internal chats about the issue from yesterday as well and had 2 coffees, Alan didn't sleep very well.

I had a very late lunch and made a stir fry out of chicken and veg from the veg box and it was nice and I arranged for my car MOT whilst I was cooking inbetween listening to the Archers.

I finished work and a very long interview/client meeting at around 7pm and then went out for a run and went up to Sherburn, then down back via the BP garage and back round through the fields about 4 miles in total and reasonably fast in 34 minutes.

I had a bath and then Alan made haloumi chicken shwarma for tea and then we watched lots of cricket and I did more work and we watched some more comedy on Dave.

I meant to go to bed earlier, but it's not happened, I did eat 2 lollies though.

Isolation Journal 113

I haven't even left the house today!  I got up with a huge stress headache, made some breakfast and signed on for work and then decided to have some ibuprofen with all my vitamins.  I had apple, granola and yoghurt for breakfast and 2 coffees.

I had a busy morning of doing interviews and a bit more admin and realised it was past 2pm before thinking about lunch so then Alan made some waffles and a couple of fried eggs.  I cracked on with a load more work and am not close to being caught up and also had some internal patch politics to discuss.  I had a meeting with a client about an issue that I had to sort out which wasn't the best end to the day, but then I had an offer for another candidate so it sort of balanced itself out.

I finally finished work around 7pm and cooked dinner - a hello fresh pasta and butternut squash and serrano ham recipe and then I logged onto the chalk the sun reading group and shared a piece of writing that I'd done at the "How to write that novel" workshop, generally they weren't grabbed by the first page I'd written in the exercise, but they did like the blurb.  They shared some other pieces which was really nice to listen to and also mentioned that they'll be meeting again on the first Saturday for an exercise.

I then spent ages talking to Alan about my story and we came up with a few ideas of how to shape everything and a few devices.  I'm trying to work out the characters as it's hard to not write about yourself.

I then ate some cheese and chutney whilst Alan had a bath.

Isolation Journal 112

I got woken up pretty early as my phone buzzed as the delivery from Pets at Home was to be delivered at 7.30am, I managed to get them to update the delivery to just leave it at the door rather than ring the doorbell.

I got up and brought it all in and also the Hello Fresh and accidentally managed to split open the 10kg of food.  I opened the boxes and took out the trays of cat food, cat urine remover, litter tray and also the water fountain.  Breakfast was homemade kombucha and 2 coffees and yoghurt, apple and granola.

I got logged on in plenty of time to help Nic with a query and get ready for the morning meeting at 9am.  It's been a very busy day of relentless admin and organising and things breaking or not sending on the system.  I didn't get a chance to eat lunch until past 2pm and I made pasta, cheese and a corn on the cob and had a packet of skips afterwards.  

I had a very long day and finally signed off around 8pm after Alan had been for a run and cooked dinner as I'd had an extended conversation with a colleague in my team over a lot of things that perhaps haven't been communicated as they could have been.

I had dinner - paprika chicken Hello Fresh and then I did a bit more work and then finally at 9.30pm went out to run up and down the hill outside and didn't see anyone all day other than Alan and Andy from number 1 walking Bentley.  I ran 31 minutes and just over 3.3 miles.

I came back in and had an ice lolly and got hooked into watching Don't tell the Bride.  

Isolation Journal 109

I woke up fairly well at 8am and then got up and went to feed Fudge and Smudge, and Maya and Qubit and then I grabbed some cornflakes and coffee and logged on for work.  The milkman came a bit after 9am and Qubit managed to bring both a nearly dead mouse that he killed quickly and then a poor dead rabbit that Alan checked was definitely dead.  

I had a very busy day and got through a reasonable amount of work in the morning, I've got jobs to match, admin to do and clients to keep in up to date.  I'm still behind on emails and general organisation, but  I'm hoping I might be able to catch up over the weekend.

For lunch I had the dinner to lunch from Hello Fresh the night before and had a muller corner yoghurt in front of the computer. Maya lay next to the keyboard for most of the day.

The Delifresh order arrived about 30 mins than they'd said at 2.20pm and they'd delivered plain flour when I'm sure I'd ordered self raising flour.

I finally signed off at 7pm at work and discussed with Alan what he wanted to do for dinner and he wanted takeaway so I went out for a run for 30 mins and did just over 6K slower than the past couple of days as my left big toe joint is still hurting.

We ordered from Tokies and I had a Zeus Pizza with some curly fries and milkshake called "Hi honey I'm home" I had a very long bath and read some Facebook drama as the place where we got married had had a family staying and had complained at the end of their stay that there was a problem with the mattress and were aggressive to the manager and were getting all their friends to leave false negative reviews.  It's so sad as tackling things like that is not good for anyone.

We watched some Dave TV after Alan had finished watching Middlesborough lose to Watford one nil.

I went to finally book my Arvon course for the week off that I'd booked, but it's sold out...I'd just read 3 of the stories in the Lucy Hallett Hughes Fabulous booked and loved them and was keen to book, but now I am on the waiting list and I'm sad as I don't know whether to try and book something else, cancel my week off or just take the week and try and crack on with my own writing.  So frustrating.

Isolation Journal 107 & 108

 So busy at work I've not had a chance to really write so a summary - 

- yesterday got up and fed all the cats, cleaned up a lot of cat sick, breakfast of cornflakes and coffee and lunch was late and reheated chick pea patties, did rachels' handover after a late lunch reading Fabulous by Lucy Hallett-Hughes in the sunshine which was mythical and interesting.  Finished work at nearly 7pm and went for run - Alan did too before me and I managed to do 23.24 which is the fastest 5K i've done in years.  Watered our plants and the neighbours.  Had prawn and rice stir fry for dinner, did more work, can't find candidates for a charity finance role, feel rubbish.

- today similar less cat sick and lunch was made from a salad and a jacket potato, cheese and marmite and I felt terrible and like I can't do my job, my head hurts.  Arena flowers arrived and I arranged them and put them next to my computer and in the dining room.  Finished work at 7.30pm and went for a run, slower that yesterday and then I fed all the cats and cooked tea a dinner for lunch hello fresh recipe with chicken and bacon and talked to my parents who had received my parcel from the Works.  Watched Frankie Boyle and then did some more work.  

Hopefully tomorrow will feel less hopeless...

Isolation Journal 106

I got up at 8am and fed all the cats including a quite quiet Fudge and Smudge and then had some cornflakes and coffee and had a few bits and pieces to sort out and send CVs for a job (that I later found didn't arrive and I had to resend).

I ran a brief training session for Luke and Katie S on candidate exclusivity and then I worked on finding more candidates for a few jobs.

The Kombucha book that I'd ordered arrived and then for lunch we had some more rice and chickpea patties.

The day in general was reasonable productive as I confirmed the details of my placement and did some admin as well as joined in on a BD afternoon on the temp side and had a meeting with PP to discuss shared clients. Alan went to the dentist for more fillings at 2.20pm and came back a bit groggy.

I finished work around 6.30pm and Alan needed to drive his car for a bit of a run out and he googled some interesting places and we went to Skipwith Common and aimed to be back at 8pm for the Amazon delivery...only we realised when we were walking that I'd not completed the order, so it will be now arriving tomorrow morning instead!

We got home and Alan fed Fudge and Smudge and I made tea - Caprese Pasta by Hello Fresh.  We then ate in front of the TV and watched Dave with Katherine Ryan featured on a number of different programmes.

They announced this evening that they are going to be banning gatherings of more than 6 as of Monday, it's a good thing that I visited my parents when I did and that we planned guide meetings online only.  We were due to be going to a celebration before we had our wedding anniversary at North Shire, but I'm not sure that it will be able to go ahead.

I swapped a few messages with my brother, both my neighbours, my Mum and Gem from guides!

Me and my brother are worried in particular about my Dad as he seems to be very bored at the moment, we're not sure what to do, but hopefully we'll help him find a few more ideas.  

Not so Isolation Journal 102

It was a struggle to get up this morning, but I dragged myself out of bed around 7.15am and let the cats out and had cornflakes and milk and a coffee and made one to drink in the car.  I was so groggy I spilt milk everywhere.

Work was quiet as it was only Luke in in my team.  I had a busy morning meeting 2 candidates to practice MS Teams and prep them for interviews, I also chatted to a few people as well who were interested in my very short 4 week temp role, but I did manage to fill it in the afternoon thankfully.

I also learned some more functions of the system that made me pleased like it reminds you to brief and de brief candidates on interviews, you can copy and paste the job reference number rather than trying to remember an 8 digit number and you can search for which jobs are missing adverts.

I'd got to 2pm and suddenly realised that I'd eaten my rice at my desk, but I'd not been out at all so I went for a walk around the block and then I caught up with the PP team to chat about various things.  

I decided to book a Covid Test as I'd had a note through the app because I'd reported sore throat symptoms and so I booked for 6pm and made sure I'd finished up at 5.30pm and walked out with Susan and had a catch up chat.  

I'd worn my mask a bit today and I'm literally the only person in the office who does, I especially wear in the toilets and walking to and from my car and I'm nervous as Leeds is hovering around a local lockdown at the moment.  

I rang my mum on the way back as I'd figured she'd like a chat and could listen as I went through the drive through test.  I got there a bit early, so hovered around for about 5 mins and then drove in.  You drive around the park and ride car park and then stop at various points for instructions and to have your AR code scanned and they then drop a test kit in your passenger car window and you park up and do the test.  You blow your nose and sanitise your hands and then you have to swab your tonsils for 10 - 15 secs and the back of your nose for the same time and you then break the top of the plastic off the swab and put it in a vial of liquid and seal it in a bag with a pad and then you put it in the main bag and they check it before you drive to the drop off point.  They scan your code again and I was done in 9 minutes.

I got home and then went out for a run and ran in the lovely pre sunset light, I was more sluggish today and did 4.5 miles listening to a grime mix on Apple music as I've had the M to the B song stuck in my head off TikTok and I'm still "unproductive" training and I got a photo of a sign urging you to wash your car to protect against covid.  I spotted Qubit in the field and Alan went to call him in.

We then watched some Friends and ordered takeaway, the place we got from on Saturday wasn't delivering so we got from Tokies and I ordered a kebab, pizza and curly frieds but I knew I wouldn't eat it all.  I did some tidying and unpacked the veg box and got in the bath, but the takeaway arrived only 10 mins later.  Alan watched Happy Gilmore whilst i was in the bath and tidying and then we watched 8 out of 10 cats does countdown.

The food was good, but a bit cold.  After we'd eaten Alan suggested that I make hot apple brandy as he'd bought some apple butter.

Not so Isolation Journal 100

Another earlier start back into the office today.  I didn't sleep very well, it took me a while to drift off and I woke up about 25 minutes afterwards.  My alarm went off at 6.50am and woke me up in the midst of a dream.  I was a bit slower to get up and get moving, but I got downstairs, fed the cats, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, had some of the badly executed banana bread and yoghurt for breakfast and then got dressed left about the same time as yesterday around 7.55am, but as I got down the end of Whitecote Lane there was a load of farm equipment completely blocking the road and so I had to do a million point turn to go back on myself through Newthorpe, so it was probably around 8.40am by the time I walked into the office.

The morning was relatively productive, lots of trying to get on top of how the system works and I'm getting there slowly.  I managed to send some CVs eventually, but it seems a bit clunky getting eveything as I used to.

At lunch I ate at my desk and had rice and bean and also a naked bar as well as 2 apples and a satsuam for snacks.  I then went for a walk around the block along the canal with Nic again.  She noticed that there were a lot of people walking around the back of my desk and suggested that I move to a more corner area with less people around me so I'll swap with Rachel when I'm back in the office again on Friday.

I worked out that I still had 15.5 days of leave to take and so I took off a week in October with a plan of booking onto an online writing course with Arvon.  

The afternoon was fairly productive other than the frustration of having a meeting that lasted for 40 minutes which could have been an email about a client transfering over some temps.  I finished up around 6.30pm and then went to the toilet before heading to the car in pouring rain.  It was so wet that it took me a long time to drive back in the rain more slowly.

When I arrived back home Alan was cleaning the cooker which was impressive!

I cooked Hello Fresh when I got in - Toulouse Sausage and potatoes with a tomato and bean sauce and listened to PMQs as I cooked.  I also ate 30g portion of cheese, marmite and skips whilst I cooked as I was way too hungry.  I had thought about going for a run, but it got late after I'd let my dinner go down and so I decided to email the vouchers we'd not yet been able to book for our wedding as they are due to expire very soon.  I asked the Alfresco Adventures and the Yorkshire Heart Wine Tasting people to ask about how to book.

I also checked my course on Saturday and messaged my friend Jenny to see if she might be interested in meeting for a walk and she seemed interested.

We watched Friends, Taskmaster and generally stuff on Dave whilst Alan waited for an Amazon order to arrive and we ate feasts and then wine gums after the delivery had arrived and I had a beer as well.  I meant to go for a run, but it was too wet and I didn't fancy it, will need to do 10K tomorrow!

Not so Isolation Journal 99

I woke up this morning before my alarm to a horrible bad dream, someone was attempting suicide in a most horribly graphic way, it was like something out of a film, but not a film that I've ever seen.

I then got up with my alarm at 6.50am and quietly went downstairs, emptied the and refilled the dishwasher, collected up all my food for the day and drank a coffee, ate some cornflakes and fed the cats (letting them out the back door as they were confused by me being up so early).  I then made another coffee and put it in a mug to take on the journey and put make up on and got dressed - I'd laid out my clothes the night before to make it less stressful this morning.

Alan was confused as I'd planned to get to the office for 8.30am and so I planned to leave at 7.30 and ended up leaving about 7.50am as I dropped my eyebrow shadow on the floor and had to clear it up as it was all black and manky.  The traffic was super quiet and so I ended up getting in for 8.20am and it was really quiet in the car park as well.

I put my mask on and walked across to the office carrying my run club stuff as well as my hand bag, Alan's Macbook and Rachel's bag of stuff that I'd been looking after for her.

The office smelt really clean and it did seem quite spacious, but it was weird walking back in and not chatting in close proximity to everyone.

We logged on and started to fire up the new Salesforce system and had a kick off call as normal and then I cracked on with trying to work out how to use the new system.  I had a new job to match as well as CVs to send (the system wouldn't let me do this) and I think it will be good, but will take me a while to get back to the normal speed of doing things.

At lunch the team went out for a meal, but I'd brought my wild rice and black bean salad so I ate that instead with left over cucumber salad and Nic was too busy as well so we went out for a walk at lunch.  I wore my mask to go to the bathroom and the rest of the time I was at my desk.  The one thing that threw me was when my boss threw my mobile at me to answer which I was super uncomfortable doing.  I held it at a distance and then sanitised my hands.

Today was definitely more productive that it has been, even though I was cross at the system and constantly on the phone to work out what to do.

I finished my last call at around 7pm and then went to get changed into my run kit and drove over to Woodhouse Moor for run club at 7.30pm.  I was nearly late and had to run fast across to meet at the end of parkrun (Queen Victoria Statute) and it was really nice that I knew everyone in the group - Zeni leading, Clare E, Lizzie and Emily.  We had a lovely chatty run and some effort on my intervals and my "peaking" on garmin went down to "recovery"  I ran around 6K in about 35 minutes including running back to my car at the end and I drove home which took around 40 minutes in total.

I called Alan on the way and then spoke to my parents briefly and got in and put on a load of washing and had a shower whilst Alan finished off the Hello Fresh for tea which was Pork burgers with wedges and coleslaw.

We watched an episode of Spooks and he went up for a bath and had been for a run earlier.  I then I tidied the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher and made banana bread which finished cooking at midnight and turned out terribly, the edges were burnt and the insides uncooked and fell out.  I'm a total idiot and should leave these baking things to Alan sometimes!

Isolation Journal 94

I woke up a bit earlier than my alarm and I was desperate to finish off "The Midnight Library" and I did, I loved it and wanted to read it again, but I'd promised to lend it to my neighbour Kirsty.

I logged onto my teams kick off call at 9am and updated Katie who was back from Greece and seemed happy with how I'd looked after things for her whilst I was off.  I had yoghurt, apple and granola for breakfast and then another team meeting with the wider team.

I got through a decent amount of work this morning, but it's still very busy and I have plenty to do, but I did manage to do Pilates at 12pm and it was just 3 of us in the class.  We then heated the leftover pasta bake from the day before for lunch and then cracked on with the afternoon activities including writing an advert for the job I'd managed to retain which I'm really excited to be working on and also picked up another job to work on which is the first job I've had for me in a very long time.

I finished work around 6.35pm and we were due to be doing our guide planning meeting at 6.30pm in Gem's garden, but it was really rainy so we moved it to Zoom.  I ended up having my laptop crash so I then had to download Zoom onto the Mac and then it started working again so I logged back on again.

We borrowed lots of ideas and planned the whole term that will be done via Zoom as we're not sure when we'll be allowed to do things again face to face.  It took a while, but I've made a whole document of what parents need to prep ready to participate, we've got different people leading things and some fun party, cooking and crafts.  They'll also be getting through some of their skills builders which is good.

Alan made Hello Fresh Thai Prawn Curry for tea and I ate whilst finishing the meeting and then I came down and tidied the kitchen, the dining room, took out my dead flowers and arranged 2 vases of gladioli from Arena Flowers, put a load of washing on, put away the washing from the drying rack, hung out the washing and loaded and set off the dishwasher.

I had a fruit corner dessert and then a glass of wine after I'd done all the chores listening to more Wind Up Bird Chronicles and we watched some Mock the Week and Taskmaster.

Isolation Journal 92

I grabbed a coffee before signing on for the call this morning and then had some cornflakes as well.  It was pelting it down with rain really heavily and so the cats were a bit cautious about going out.

The morning was reasonably productive, although there was a lot of adminy sorting out of stuff to do. I am nervous going back into the office, but I do think it will help me feel a bit more engaged.  I made lunch again and we had the same as yesterday - sausages, potato waffles and chard, but I also made some quick hassleback potatoes that were really delicious and dead easy to make.

We had a kick off for our temp BD session and I also had a D&I Unity champs session which was enjoyable. 

We had another teams meeting and then I had a request for a meeting with a client where I've hopefully successfully sold a retainer.  

I had a headache and felt pretty tired and so when Maya kept lying on my keyboard at 6.30pm I called it a day and finished up.  

I went out for a run and just about got done without getting rained on - and just before I headed out spotted a worm that had got out of Qubit's bum - I've now ordered worming tablets for him!  I ran 6.5K and was reasonably on track, but my status is now down as unproductive!  

I listened to the With Me Now podcast on the run and then had a quick shower before cooking tea which was a Hello Fresh pizza recipe with some black bean salsa.  I listened to more of the Wind Up Bird Chronicles and then we watched Jon Oliver "The Night Tonight" and then some "Storage Hunters" and had an ice lolly and then some of my birthday present dark coffee flavoured chocolate.

I also ordered a lightning cable from Amazon as my apple charger is on the way out.  I tidied up the kitchen after tea.

Isolation Journal 91

I woke up after a reasonable night of sleep, but still felt really quite poorly with my stomach.  I got logged on an Alan kindly made me a coffee.  I tried out a belvita as they were good for a poorly stomach in the past, but it was best before 2017 and really soggy.  I later on tried some Skyr and granola. 

I started with a call to catch up with everyone, but then it was a morning of mostly sorting out issues and niggly things.  I was distracted and not very focused.  

I did pilates at 12pm and I definitely needed the streching and workout.  Alan went out for a run and put on some sausages and potato waffles on and I cooked some chard with garlic and we ate lunch.  

I then had a team meeting for work, but someone forgot to turn up, so we then rearranged for tomorrow and then I had a meeting with a client that 100% could have been an email.

I worked away until around 6.45pm and still didn't really get as much done as I'd wanted. It was a sunny day so I was really keen to run, although I'm still not feeling 100%, but I managed to do a Lumby loop of about 4 miles and then I finished off dinner which was saffron paella and monk fish and serrano ham from Hello Fresh and it was delicious, we had some fizz from Naked wines and it was sweet and delicious.  We watched a bit of Storage Hunters.

I then had another go and cutting Alan's hair and it didn't go well - I followed the same video as last night, but his hair was way longer and my shoulder was hurting so much to try and do some of the cutting.  Alan was upset and cross and we almost looked like it was going to need to be shaved off, but fortunately we managed to rescue it.

We realised Qubit had itchy ears and found some lice/fleas/bugs in there, so groomed them out and then we put some spot on drops on both him and Maya.

I hung out a load of washing and cleaned the kitchen while Alan had a bath.

Isolation Journal 88

I read some more of the Matt Haig "The Midnight Library" last night - it's such a good book.

I got up early as I needed to go to the Covid Test centre and so I was awake at 7.15am and left the house 20 mins later.  I got to the site around 8.10am and was done with a self test really quickly, it was the same as last time and I defintely gagged and so I hope I did it properly.  

I then got home and made breakfast and emptied the dishwasher and made breakfast granola, Skyr and coffee, today was a 3 coffee day.  I also had a worry message from a friend on Facebook to say that the block my flat is in was flooded, so I rang the letting agents, although they couldn't get hold of my tenant they seem to think it's ok.  

I had a quick call with Matt as everyone else was on holiday and then cracked on with work and had a reasonably productive day, arranging interviews for Rachel, sorting out a few nigglying things and hopefully picking up an exclusive process with a charity.

For lunch we cooked sausages and I made some salad with some of the kohl rabi from the veg box and I also used carrot, cabbage, coriander, red cabbage and tomato and the leftover potato wedges.  

I worked through until around 7.30pm as I had a lot of emails to shift and a proposal to write and a few linkedin searches to do.

I made tea and chatted to my brother and the kids who were getting into bed and discussed going back tomorrow.  I didn't have my test result, but I'm pretty sure I don't have Covid as my only symptoms into the app were a sore throat and my temperature is only 36.8.  I didn't feel like running though so I've only run twice this week!

We had pork and apple burgers with salad and wedges from Hello Fresh for tea, I had my gu cheesecake for pudding.

We watched Peep Show and Alan went for a bath and so I watched Catfish.

Isolation Journal 87

Today has felt hard, I woke up ok and got signed on for work and went straight into a public sector meeting.  We were also doing a BD day so lots of things to organise, calls to complete.   I had coffee and then I had skyr and granola for breakfast.  Seeing my Mum sharing an ignorant post on facebook set me up for a day of feeling frustrated basically "I don't care if you're gay, but don't rub my face in it" I pointed out that if it wasn't for suffagettes protesting quite violently we wouldn't have the vote as women - she's not replied.

I had a morning of sorting out lots of issues rather than being able to be hugely productive, but then I had a meeting with the other Mental Health Champions and discussed some of the things that we were seeing people experience and discussed concerns about going back to the office.

I made burgers and salad for lunch and Alan had ordered an Amazon Echo Dot clock to entertain us.  I then headed out shortly afterwards to have a smear test at the doctors, I ended up there 10 minutes early and so I had to wait in the car and took a call about rolling out some MH Champions stuff specifically in the North.  

I went into reception at my appointment time and had to then wait outside, the smear was a standard test, I just made sure that I'd worn my mask.  When I got back the veg box order from the Organic Pantry had arrived with carrots, kohl rabi, cabbage, potatoes, yellow courgettes, apples, potatoes, satsumas and bananas.

I had an ice lolly when I got back and then worked through until around 7.30pm and Alan made aubergine tacos from Hello Fresh for tea and we ate at the dining room table.

We went for a walk of about 2K and 30 mins and then I watered the plants and was a bit sad that the potato plants had slightly swamped the carrot seedlings and I'm not sure if they will have survived it.  The tomatoes I planted from 1 cherry tomato at the start of lockdown are now doing really well.  

I came inside and tidied the kitchen and sat down to watch some TV - South Park and Storage Hunters.  My throat is feeling sore, I feel a bit naseous and tired and so I booked myself a Covid test for 8am tomorrow.  I realised today I have 15.5 days of annual leave I need to take still, but Alan only has about 8.

Isolation Journal 84

Alan woke up at least an hour earlier than we needed to be up and so he went downstairs and I snoozed for another hour and listened to headspace to get back to sleep.  I had two slices of toast and marmite for breakfast and 2 coffees.  Alan is still feeling bad with his ear and lack of sleep, but the GPs are being really careful with who they'll see.

We had a kick off meeting and it was quite productive and then I caught up with Rachel as she was in the office today, but couldn't get logged onto the call.  Alan was on a call and Qubit brought in a mouse and put it in his shoe, so I had to rescue it for him.

I booked a good candidate meeting for tomorrow morning and then I dealt with some of the work for Katie who is off on holiday.  It was a busy day and I made a few calls for myself and then got downstairs and did pilates online.  I've still got the leg nerve issue and so I was taking it easy, but it wasn't too painful.

We had reheated Chinese leftovers from Friday evening for lunch and then I had a peach as a snack a bit later on.

I had a few more MS Teams meetings and managed to land an offer for Katie which was good news.  It got sunnier later on in the day so I opened the window and Maya got out on the flat roof and then climbed next door and tried to get in Ally's window, I managed to encourage her back with some more treats.

As I finished my last MS Teams meeting I then realised I'd picked up another 16 jobs, although none for me, it seems to be a trend.

Good news is that the government has u-turned on the A'level results and so hopefully a lot of the affected students will still be able to go to their chosen University.

I worked through until 6.30pm when I loaded up Zoom and we logged on for a team building activity of a virtual escape room.  I'd chosen one with a rogue CEO who was being investigated, I'd selected "Advanced" and it was really hard!  It took about 2 hours and I had a glass of fizz and Alan cooked dinner which was a hello fresh meanball sub.  

I then watched more Storage Hunters, cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floors and had a bit of cheese and a chocolate ice lolly.