Calderdale Way Relay

I thought I'd run this twice before, but because of an often clash with my birthday, the last time I ran this race was 2017 and I had a chance to do a decent recce beforehand. I remember it being tough, but beautiful and I love a team relay. 

This year I had been training hard for the Vegas Half Marathon and my fitness was starting to come back, so when Danni was asking for people interested it seemed like a great time to sign up. I ran a 2 hour 8 minute time at the Vegas Half on the 27th February and on the 26th March I ran a 24.31 minute parkrun at Pontefract and was finally feeling that after injuries and illness I was getting my fitness back, only the following day I inevitably tested positive for Covid after avoiding it for 4 days after Alan had tested positive.

We were both fortunate to "recover" pretty quickly with us both testing postive for around 10 days and not needing any additional medical support, but trying to run or be active afterwards has really been more challenging that I would have predicted with my garmin proudly declaring recovery times of 60+ hours after a parkrun!

All credit to Danni for managing to arrange a team, the logistics and chase us all for payment and signatures and I was allocated leg 6 again (handy as I didn't get a chance to recce) and she had also paired me up with Jed who I've run with a few times in Groups 3 and 4 before catching Covid. I knew I'd likely be slower than the last time I ran the relay and so was slightly worried when I saw Jed had run a 1 hour 34 Leeds Half Marathon the weekend before the relay! I told him that he'd potentially hate me by the end of the relay as I'd not managed further than 7 miles post covid!

I prepped my kit the night before digging out a running rucksack, the print out of the route, a compass, full body waterproofs, hat and gloves...and no-one checked my bag this time. I also downloaded the route onto my garmin to help if I didn't remember where we were going from the last time.

We planned our travel logistics and I drove to Leeds and picked Jed up and then we got stuck in a very long queue of traffic for the Leeds match, fortunately we'd left a load of time (meeting at 12pm to hopefully get there in 30 minutes) we managed to find a parking space on the road near the start and I grabbed a packed of crisps and used the toilet in a pub nearby. 

Registration was swift and we had about 45 minutes to wait before the mass start and we watched a few teams pass over the baton as we waited for 2pm to arrive.

They set us all off and we piled off down the grassy hill and into the woods where there were a few traffic jams at tighter parts of the route. It was a really warm day and the sun had come out and so we got to run across bluebell lined paths and up and down slopes to the path along a field. 

Fortunately much of the route was familar to me as I do have a decent memory for recalling routes I've done previously, even if it's been a few years, but having a few people up ahead to follow (and occasionally behind to tell us when we were taking a slightly wrong turn) was really useful. 

I had conveniently forgotten just how hilly Leg 6 is with around 477m of elevation across 17.2km route. I got through the first 10K reasonably swiftly in just over an hour and seven minutes with Jed not having to wait for me too much (although I suspect he was very much running at a slower pace than he could have done!) but then for the next 7km I really needed to employ the tactic of walking up all of the hills and indeed along a fair chunk of the flat sections. 

The views as usual were beautiful which almost made the fact I had to walk like a Gorilla up at least 90% of the uphill sections worthwhile and running down the long stretch onto the last section of the canal at the end was definitely good fun!

We got around to the finish and took a slight detour along the road rather than the field, but were able to spot a rather tempting looking ice cream van and we finished in 2 hours 21 which is a good 20 minutes slower than my last attempt, but I'm really glad I managed to get around and finish it. 

We rewarded ourselves at the ice cream van and took a walk to the bus station to get a bus back to the start to pick up my car. Note for future runners the 508 bus goes from Leeds right to the start and it's only 10 minutes walk to the bus station which can make car logistics a bit easier.

I still feel bad that Jed had to slow down and walk/wait for me as much as he did, but I think we both had an enjoyable run out through Halifax and as much as I might regret it later, I do still think I want to do it again...only this time I'll definitely train more and try my best to avoid pandemic diseases!

#runandtalk and Mental Health Awareness Week

Today was a Tuesday, but not a first Tuesday, but as it's Mental Health Awareness Week with a theme of loneliness I put on an extra session as I know that many people would potentially benefit from company if they were feeling lonely.

I've been posting each day on LinkedIn as well to tie in with the theme and I'm hoping that it makes a difference to some people.

I've loved being more social again in the past few months, but it's still quite jarring to get used to and so at times I've had to force myself a bit, or nudge might be the right word to make sure that I do things to make me feel positive and social. I don't want to slip back into a more hermit like existence as I did before 2010 when I joined WI and made lots of really important friends. 

The run was nice as we found some ginnels or maybe snicketts that I wasn't familiar with, saw an interesting carving from a tree in Woodhouse Ridge and some rabbits back on campus and then we had a quick drink and chat at Nation of Shopkeepers where I've not been for years. 

Habits & Nicholas Cage

This year has been a year of interruptions and distractions. Some have been positive like going away on holiday for the first time in 2 years to LA and Las Vegas to run the Las Vegas Half Marathon and some have been less positive (or maybe more positive) such as catching covid on the 27th March 4 days after Alan had a headache and took a test.

I'm now reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, well I'm actually listening to it via Audible and it's reminded me of a very useful tip that I gained on an Arvon Master Class by David Quantick in 2020, bascially along the lines of writing being like exercise, if you do some of it every day, it becomes easier to do more of it and get better at it. 

Covid interrupted all of my healthy habits - exercise, daylight, social interaction, volunteering and more and it created some negative ones - downloading more computer games, lack of ability to sleep at a sensible time with not as many physical cues. It also massively increased my screentime and probably alcohol consumption as well. The brain fog and forgetfulness on top of headaches have also made reading hard.

One month on and I'm starting to feel a bit better, but shifting back to healthy habits has been more of a challenge. Atomic Habits has had some helpful suggestions such as "Habit Stacking" where I'll try and tag on healthy additional habits to things I'm already doing i.e. if I go for a run, I'll come back and do 10 minutes of resistance and stretching rather than having to do it at a separate time late in the evening. Also facing a Tough Mudder in August I desperately need to get back into the gym, so I've suggested to Alan that after parkrun each Saturday we can head to the gym for a quick workout as we'll already be in workout gear and won't have to get showered an additional time.

This weekend has been a fairly productive and slightly more normal one. On Friday we went to Sainsburys and stocked up on groceries and then on Saturday I did an Arvon class with Jessica Andrews which has given me some great ideas to get my novel back on track including that if I'm feeling a bit bored, it's not necessarily because the novel itself is boring (although there's a risk if you write bored, you'll bore your reader) but that it can be self-doubt or just impatience and that potentially (although she doesn't necessarily use this method herself) starting a new project makes it less important to make the existing project "perfect". Consequently, I'm going to try and blog more, journal more, free write more which will hopefully make me more creative and inspired to finish the novel. It also feeds into one of the Atomic Habits chapters where it mentions a study where photography students were put into groups to either be graded on quantity (100 photos needed to be submitted) or quality (1 perfect photo to be submitted) the first group ended up producing better work as they just experimented more and were more practised photographers.

Yesterday I moved the furniture around in my office so that the sofabed is now against the wall facing the bookcase and the window. The entrance is now slightly obstructed, but I can sit on the sofa and read looking at my books (accessing all the shelves) and also looking out of the window. Alan is less impressed with my efforts, but I'm pleased with how it feels now in this room. We also went on our first longer run and did 7 miles to Fairburn and back with a bit of walking, but we got there ok.

This morning I mostly set up a spreadsheet for guides, learning some new excel tips from both YouTube and Alan's help. I then went for a run and dropped off a book as a present for my friend Gem's little girl's belated birthday and then stretched as soon as I'd got back from the run. 

We then went shopping for some chefs knives and lightweight camping chairs at the Junction 32 outlet, had Pizza Express for tea and watched The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. I loved it as I do love Con Air and this was a very clever, very funny very action packed film with lots of self referential stuff that made me smile. It was just what I needed in terms of escapism and I massively recommend it.

A new approach to new year's resolutions

Year after year I would write resolutions that were challenging and pretty much year long, which is a long time to keep up the energy of depriving yourself of something or doing more of something. 

My 20 things 20 times in 2020 and then 21 things in 2021 were inspiring, but again with a distanced view of a year it was easy to fall behind and feel a little bit disallusioned on some of the things I was working towards, so this time I have a new strategy. I will have daily, monthly and yearly goals and I'll revise my monthly goals depending on how the month has gone. Importantly they'll all be focussed on doing more good things, than trying to do fewer bad things.

Daily

• 10 minutes of reading (at least)
• 10 minutes of writing (at least)
• 10 minutes of daylight (at least)
• Only have treat food (chocolate, takeaway or booze) if I've had my 5 a day fruit and veg
• 10 minutes of activity - cardio or resistance (at least) 
• In bed to allow enough time to sleep for c8 hours
• 10 minutes of physio exercises
• Listen to one new piece of music every day
• 1 hour everyday away from social media/phone

Monthly

• Read 4 - 5 books (4.33 is needed to hit my target of 52 in the year)
• One new place visited
• One walk in a beautiful location
• One thing planted
• One item/box/bag donated to charity/recycled
• One blog post (at least)
• One gym visit/strength session
• One new film watched
• One catch up with friends
• One craft session
• One letter/postcard
• Lead/coach one run club session
• One live music/theatre/comedy trip (either attended or booked)
• 12 days veggie only

Yearly

• Run 2022 K or 1256.4 miles
• Hit my work budget target
• Finish the first draft of my novel and have at least 1 person to read it and give me feedback
• 250th parkrun

21 things 21 times in 2021

This year's challenges felt far more...well challenging, some of that was from ongoing Covid issues, some of it was from challenges from things that happened to my family that were serious and unexpected and some from work changes. All in all though I'm pleased with what I did achieve and it was a useful structure to follow for the year, but I've got some different plans for 2022!

Here's a quick review!

1 - Complete 21 bike rides outside - erm...I only managed this once!

2 - Donate to charity / recycle 21 bags/boxes/items of stuff - This was better, depending on how strict I am - I definitely did 21 items!

3 - Go to 21 yoga or pilates sessions.- I kinda lost count, but I've checked on garmin and I did 20 sessions of Pilates and 3 of Yoga so achieved!

4 - Write 21 letters or postcards - I didn't do as well with letterwriting and we didn't really manage to go anywhere where postcard writing was feasible, but if I include Christmas cards I sent with notes in then - achieved!

5 - Complete at least 21 crafting sessions - either alone or even better with friends - I only managed 10, but 3 were in person with friends which was nice! Next year I'll buy myself another Craftadvent calender!

6 - 21 blog entries - either weekly summary or topic specific - Not achieved as only managed 6, but I did do lots of other writing!

7 - 21 sessions of mindfulness - Ideally I'd do this everyday, but I'm not great at always remembering, so this is a nice achievable target. - If I count using the headspace app to get to sleep, this was definitely achieved, but I need to do more active mindfulness ideally!

8 - 21 walks in lovely places - So I counted 14, but I think that some of the very long days on our Hadrian's Wall challenge probably count as more than 1 and I didn't count walks around the village with my neighbour and they were in lovely places, but didn't feel as count worthy! My absolutely favourite place was Malham, it was the first time this year that my ongoing headache/low level migraine actually went away for a bit before I started taking Amitrptyline.

9 - Leading/backmarking/coaching at least 21 run club sessions in person or remotely - So I lead/backmarked in person 19 times and developed I think 6 sessions for the summer mile training programme, so I am going to say this was achieved!

10 - Volunteer at least 21 times - Between guides, vaccine stewarding and parkrun I have achieved this, but hope to do a bit more in 2022, especially at parkrun.

11 - Meet friends for coffee/lunch/catch ups at least 21 times - a couple of these were on zoom, but excitingly most were in person!

12 - Read 21 books - I read 29, have been so happy to get back into reading in the past 2 years.

13 - Watch 21 new films - I think I probably managed this, although I've only written 12 down, however we did join Cineworld Unlimited and have actually seen 3 films (Dune, Ghostbusters Afterlife and No Time to Die) in the cinema which was great!

14 - Learn 21 grammar topics - despite studying English Language and Literature at University and attending a "grammar" school I never understand what people are talking about with tenses, first person etc to the level I want to, so I'm going to challenge myself to learn 21 new topics around this to help with my writing. - Nope...I don't think I was really engaged by this one

15 - Have 21 days where I complete a social media rest - i.e. don't check Facebook etc - messages from actual humans is ok! - Nope...I think I probably need to try a bit harder though and perhaps set myself targets during the day instead.

16 - Visit 21 new places (not countries, just different places that I've not been before, whether a restaurant, or a nice place to walk - my Yorkshire Wildlife Trust membership gives me lots of ideas) - I only wrote down 18 places, but again I'd count the fact our walking holiday took us to muliple places on the same day. I think one of my favourites again was Malham, but I also loved Riley's Fish Shack

17 - Visit the gym / do home work outs 21 times - Didn't really manage this, still haven't been back to the gym post Covid (so nearly 2 years!). Alan did persuade me to try to learn to ski so we have been skiing at Xscape 6 times.

18 - Plant 21 "things" whether seed bombs or vegetables. I managed 13 different varities of plants and multiples of these, so this was achieved!

19 - Watch 21 live music/comedy/guest readings - on zoom or hopefully some in person - By going to - Managed to achieve this with End of the Road festival seeing Hot Chip the following week at Heaton Park and also the funniest online zoom I've ever seen with Offmenu Podcast with James Acaster and Ed Gamble.

20 -  Eat entirely veggie for 21 days - I did achieve this on quite a few days, but kept forgetting to count, so hopefully, but not sure!

21 - Complete 21 chapters or re-edits of chapters on my novel - I achieved this and have only got about 5/6 chapters to finish, need to crack on with it though and get some volunteer readers for some feedback on my first draft!

Other Targets 

• Run 2021 KM or 1256 miles in 2021 - this is 256 more that last year about an extra KM or 5 - 6 mins per day. - Not quite, I achieved 976.3 miles as I fell off pace about halfway through the year and also have not been out of the house much since picking up a heavy cold on Christmas day. I did manage to cover a total of 1297 miles including a tiny bit of cycling, and the rest was running, walking and skiing, so I think I'll take that as a win.
• Ride at least 122.2 hours in 2021 (2 hours and 21 minutes every week on average) to help with the below target - covid permitting! - I only managed...3 hours and 27 minutes including some time on zwift, this wasn't the year I did much cycling at all.
• Complete half ironman triathlon - Sundowner - Didn't get anywhere with this!
• Donate my hair to Little Princess Trust in celebration of getting vaccinated (fingers crossed!) - Achieved - donated 16 inches in July after nearly 2 years with no haircuts!

Other things that I achieved that I didn't plan or expect:

• New Job - After nearly 14 years at one company that I really enjoyed working for and had some great colleagues, I ended up in a situation where I was forced to resign with nothing to go to. It was probably one of the bravest things I've had to do as work has always been a constant and a safety blanket for me, I'm really pleased that I managed to find a new role with a great company and new manager who were understanding to allow me to have a couple of months out inbetween and I've made a good start to a new challenge of opening their Leeds office in December.
• Supporting my family through some of the biggest challenges that we have faced. 
• Getting back to face to face guiding in November, it was so rewarding to finally be back in person with guides.
• My most viral ever LinkedIn post...over 111000 views and 1433 reactions - lots of debate that has given me inspiration for a new blog post about how people are predisposed to recruit to their own biases around length of time in a role, when actually it should be shaped around what skills and experiences are needed by the role to be recruited. 

My first shift as a volunteer vaccination steward

When the announcement for recruiting NHS volunteers via the RVS went out early on in the pandemic, I eagerly entered my details only to not receive the "confirm your email" email (stupid inconsistent hotmail.com email address from 1998). I joined the village support group instead, but didn't end up needing to do anything as it turns out South Milford is a very self supporting community and we all helped each other out as neighbours without really needing to reach out via social media. (Alan was accepted straight away, but didn't get many alerts at all and none at a time when he wasn't working, so again it seems locally we've all been good at looking after those who live near us.)

Then as a St John Ambulance trained first aider, I was excited to receive an email inviting me to apply to be a vaccine volunteer, only I didn't pass the screening at that time (I assume because I am asthmatic and this was before I'd had any jabs at all)

I really enjoy volunteering and get an awful lot of enjoyment from it as well as it being a really important tool for me to manage my mental health. I still volunteered in a few different ways such as continuing to deliver guides through zoom and helping write lockdown running training sessions.

I went for my Covid Booster on Thursday and when I got back Alan mentioned he'd had an email from the RVS about volunteering to be a vaccine steward so I thought I'd see if I could sign up properly using a different email address. This time it worked and I was able to confirm my email address and log onto the GoodSam app. I filled in my details on the app and uploaded my ID and also a recent DBS I'd had through Guides (you don't need this to be a vaccine steward volunteer, but if you have a DBS from within the past 12 months it does allow you to volunteer for different roles if you like such as the "Check in and Chat" role). 

Alan and me then looked on the app for potential shifts that we could choose to volunteer and we found shifts at the Batley & Spen Vaccination Centre on Sunday that needed 2 volunteers so we both signed up. The shifts are 4 hours in duration which is long enough to feel like you are making a difference, but not too long that you feel you've not got time to enjoy your weekend. The app is pretty easy to use and you are able to book onto shifts fairly far in advance if you need to be organised, or you can fill something the following day.

As a Volunteer Vaccine Steward you need to be able to do at least 2 shifts per month and in return you get sent a hi vis. They can take some time to be sent out (c2-3 weeks), but you can volunteer straight away without it - we used our own hi vis vets to help identify us as volunteers today.

We signed up for the 1pm - 5pm shift and so did an LFT test before we left and set off stopping at Starbucks near Ikea on the way. Vaccination centres are typically always blessed with parking and we were able to park close by to the centre on the street. We spoke to the site manager when we arrived who very quickly showed us what we needed to do. One role was to be a greeter at the entrance and show people where to go to get checked in after reading a sign and being offered hand sanitiser and a mask and the other role was in the waiting area, wiping down chairs with sanitising wipes after people had finished using them as well as keeping an eye on people in case they needed any assistance.

For the first 3 hours I cleaned chairs and Alan was at the entrance and it was a fairly steady flow of people and it was a game of skill and memory to work out which chairs had been used and needed wiping down. I was working with another lady who worked for the local authority and so we covered the c12 rows of 6 chairs between us.  We were well looked after and I was given a Capri Sun to drink and offered tea, coffee, crisps, cake and biscuits. In a bit of a lull Alan asked if he could perhaps grab a jab himself as the vaccination centre was offering walk in appointments and so he did and we swapped roles and I went to greet people at the entrance.

The entrance was initially quite steady, but got much busier towards the end of the shift. People were all polite and happy to be getting their jabs and there were quite a few walk-ins who looked relieved when I said just to go and get checked in. I handed out masks, offered directions and hand santiser and reassured people who were worried about being too late or too early. Alan had a much busier hour as he was working on his own covering more chairs, but we were able to wave at each other from a distance.

It was a really positive experience and after the vaccine volunteers had been so kind to my Dad getting his booster in October, it felt good to be able to give something back today. The only mildly amusing interaction was a member of the public who decided to give me feedback on my chair wiping technique and a kid shouting through the door of the centre before I heard his friend whisper "ssh the door is open!"

I sometimes worry about "virtue signalling" when I post these things, but I do it more as a record of my experience and for anyone who has thought about volunteering and was either unsure as they didn't know what to expect, or had put it off for whatever reason, Or for people who didn't realise there are still opportunities to help out. I suspect in the coming weeks after the annoucement today the centres will be even busier, so if you think you'd like to spare a couple of hours I'd really recommend the experience based on how things went for us today. 

A few additional things:

• You can claim expenses for mileage and hand sanitiser
• If you are due a vaccination (first, second or booster) you should be able to get one whilst on your shift
• The staff whether clinical or non clincal and other volunteers work really really hard, we were both knackered after just 4 hours, and these guys do longer shifts many days in a row. Even more respect to them than before!
• And...lots of other FAQ answers here

How #runandtalk helps me

Overjoyed after reaching the end of 91 miles of walking Hadrian's Wall path!

I work in recruitment, or rather I did work in recruitment, at the moment I'm having a small break which is giving me much needed time to do a few very important things and one thing I wanted to do was to tell people a bit about it.  

I don't think that my life is especially noteworthy, but the reason I wanted to write this is because I've been a mental health champion both within work, but also within Hyde Park Harriers and the one thing that is clear is that whilst we have numerous days marking "Mental Health" and the conversation is much more open than when I started my career 20 years ago, it's still clear that some people will be going through incredibly challenging times alone and thinking they are the only people feeling that way.  It's important for people to talk, but it's also important for them to be able to listen and realise that they aren't a terrible individual for feeling like they do because actually others feel the same.

The first thing I always say is that is that mental health isn't a competition and this is something really relevant in Covid times as the vast majority of us have had some pretty awful things happen in the past 18 months and if *your* experiences don't feel as worthy as others to be sad or depressed, but you still can't bring yourself to go out for a run, speak to a friend or even brush your hair it doesn't mean you don't have the "right" to feel sad.  Sometimes it's harder to tackle mental ill health when there isn't an obvious cause so the best advice I can give is that if you aren't feeling yourself or you notice that you are avoiding things you used to enjoy doing regularly, please start a conversation with someone whether that's a good friend, family member, a colleague or a professional.  Likewise if you notice someone you know is behaving differently a simple check-in of how they are or inviting them for a walk can make more of a difference than you might imagine.

So back to me.  I've worked within recruitment for 20 years as of the 1st October this year and during that time I've had barely any time off ill, not missing a single day when I had broken my shoulder and was typing one handed for weeks and on very strong pain killers.  Discovering that I have low self esteem in 2017 (which was cleverly disguising itself as my assuming I am a competitive person) I would be likely to be overperforming in work if there was more horrible stuff that I was having to deal with outside of work.  Work was escapism and a place where generally if you worked hard you'd get validation, that you were a worthy person by beating colleagues on monthly sales league tables. I even went into work to sell a retained advertising package for a senior role less than 24 hours after being mugged in the work car park and was most likely mildly concussed after being hit on the back of the head twice.  

Recruitment is always a competitive industry and to a certain extent I thrive in this environment. Certainly in covid times I was always grateful to be working throughout, even if it was flat out at home with the physical boundaries between work and home removed.  I was notching up 50 - 60 hour weeks with nothing to distract me away from the laptop with hundreds of emails and tasks to be done.  I worked for a well established large recruitment firm since 2008 and I led my small team through the  covid crisis and we started to break records.  I was consistently anxious, worried and finding the world a challenging place, but work remained a safe place for me and I knew I get paid at the end of each month.

In January this year there were a few changes and that is the norm in large recruitment businesses.  I had a new boss who I'd not really met or worked with before and we went straight into the 3rd lockdown.  I don't know why exactly, but this new relationship didn't work.  I carried on doing my job and my team continued to perform really well, but in Februrary I noticed I was waking up every morning with a headache.  This wasn't a new thing as I have had this before when I've been under stress and would typically go when the stress dimished, but as time went on in March I was still struggling and even focussing on my laptop screen was a challenge in the morning.  

In March I went to see a fellow HPH for an eye test and all was normal and so I called my GP who was rather unhelpful and suggested it was because I had too much screentime.  I knew that this was unlikely to be the issue as the headaches were very recentl and I was fortunate to be able to use a my health insurance for a private GP appointment who referred me to a neurologist.  In June I had MRI brain scans which were all clear and was diagnosing with chronic low level migraine and prescribed Amitriptyline that acts as a preventative medication taken about an hour before bed.  The challenge many people have is that it can make you very drowsy the following morning and not being a morning person already, it did make the first couple of hours of work very challenging

The headaches were slightly better, but still there and alongside this I had begin to realise after doing a little health, wellbeing and purpose audit as a result of reading Dr Alex George's book - "Live Well Every Day" (and no I've never watched an episode of Love Island!) that change was needed for me in work.  I identified that my key passions and purpose revolve around health and wellbeing, nature and conservation and helping and supporting people.

I started to consider a few different options, but nothing progressed very quickly and things started to get more challenging at work when it was very clear that there were quite deep misunderstandings between myself and my boss.  Running alongside the challenges at work over the summer were a number of family issues with my immediate family who all live 5 - 6 hours drive away.  My Dad was suddenly diagnosed with a silent stroke and Parkinsons and over the space of a week lost mobility to walk without shuffling and use fine motor skills and then two weeks later my brother had some serious issues with his young family as well.  

I take some responsibility for the challenges at work as I'm sure I could have made more proactive efforts to build a better relationship with my new boss, but when I noticed I was being excluded from meetings, I asked for a catch up and it was clear that my longer term aspirations and the company plans for me were totally different.  I proposed some solutions of what I could do that were being considered, but then early September I got back from leave to discover some very major changes had happened, but that no one had told me.  After a discussion with my husband Alan we concluded that I should resign from a job that I had for a long time and had provided me with significant financial and personal security without anything lined up to go to.  

Over my lifetime I've had different strategies to manage my mental health including talking therapy and at one point I was on various anti-depressants for 12 years, but drawing upon past experience. I felt very strongly that how I was feeling this year was my mood responding to a situation and that if I could change the situation my mood would improve without needing to use anti-depressants.  (I would like to re-emphasis that there is nothing wrong with using anti-depressants, but I personally wanted to make sure on this occasion I'd explored other solutions first)

First Tuesday was of course #runandtalk day and I was looking forward to relaunching in-person #runandtalk and whilst I was naturally feeling worried about everything that was going on, I knew that a run with friendly people would make me feel better and it really did.  We ran, jogged and walked around the city centre on a warm evening chatting away and taking time to smell the roses and look at some beautiful landscape photographs outside of the town hall and I knew that whilst I was making a scary change, I had people around who were really supportive and that I'd be ok.

Rolling forward 6 weeks and I'm in a very different place.  I managed to hand everything over at work which was a challenge as I had a lot of pre booked annual leave and so only had 14 working days to finish everything and my last day of employment conincided with me completing the Hadrian's Wall Path walk (91 miles in 7 days)  Spending time being active in nature and beautiful surroundings with Alan was exactly what I needed and guess what - the headaches have more or less disappeared entirely!  I now have something new arranged that I'm looking forward to starting and my anxiety over the years had forced me to save up a bit of a rainy day fund (one "benefit" I suppose of always catastrophising everything from being pre-disposed to anxiety!).  For now I am in a very fortunate position to enjoy resting, focusing on my health, spending time with Alan (cooking him lunch every day!), trying hard to complete writing my novel that I started last year, helping my family and getting ready for a fresh start.  

I've not really talked much about running in this post (and I've done a lot of it this year to help with headaches and my mood), but then much like parkrun for me #runandtalk is more about the talking than the running.  It's about getting out of the house, into the fresh air and moving your body and noticing the world around you whilst being around friendly and supportive people.  You don't even really need to talk, I'm sure there have been people who have come along and said very few words, but go away feeling that they've done something positive with their evening and that can sometimes be far more important than people would imagine.

#runandtalk will mean something different to everyone, but as one of the Mental Health Champions for HPH I want it to be somewhere you can come to be active and social (even if that's not talking, but just being around people).  In our sessions we've talked about everything from our favourite type of biscuit to some more mental health specific topics, but no one is forced to disclose anything they aren't comfortable in doing and it's always good fun.  I share my experiences not for pity or praise, but because I hope to make a difference to that person who doesn't feel like anyone else could begin to understand what they are going through, that might have lost hope and I just want to create a friendly and safe community who will be there on the first Tuesday each month to offer support.  I am fortunate that I love running, I love talking, I love being outside in green spaces and I loving supporting people and so being a #runandtalk mental health champion and even a regular HPH leader helps me enjoy all of these elements and if any of this has resonated with you then please come along to the next #runandtalk session on the 2nd November we'd love to have you there.  If you're interested in becoming a Mental Health Champion you don't need any specific qualifications, just ideally lived experience of mental health either personally or through supporting someone else and willingness to give it a go - get in touch if you want any more details or have any questions.

In the meantime, I sincerely hope everyone is doing ok, but if you are struggling, please reach out to someone or if you don't feel you have anyone to talk to - here are some helpful contacts:

• Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).

• SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).

• National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7).

• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

• The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994 (3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.

• Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (weekdays 10am-10pm, weekends 2pm-10pm and bank holidays 2pm–10pm), email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07786 209 697.

• Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.

• Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email chris@switchboard.lgbt or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.

• Helplines Partnership. For more options, visit the Helplines Partnership website for a directory of UK helplines. Mind's Infoline can also help you find services that can support you. If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.