Isolation Journal 15

Today was my "day off" and I felt totally exhausted so I ended up waking up when Alan got up to go to work and then falling asleep until about 10.30am and not getting out of bed until 11am.  I wasn't sure what to do with the day, I knew I needed to do a bit of tidying and wanted to go for a run of at least 7 miles, but that was about it.  I got into my run kit to make sure that I would get myself out for a run and wanted to make it easier for myself.  

I had granola, a granny smith and somee yoghurt for breakfast and a couple of coffees and then watched a bit of catfish after setting off the washing machine and emptying the dishwasher.  I then listened to the Archers whilst I cleaned out the baking cupboard - Alan was less impressed with my accomplishment when he got home. I also took the dead flowers that were from my birthday out to the green waste bins and also some weeds from the garden.  I took some compost food waste to the compost bin.  

Maya brought in a dead bird and it made me sad.  

I then did another load of washing and got settled down in front of the laptop to write up a session plan for runclub.  I went for a pyramid session where you warm up and then run 1 minute at a high intensity 7 - 9 RPE and then have 30 secs of recovery and increase each minute by a minute up to 2, 3, 4 and then 5 before doing down 4, 3, 2, 1 and then cool down run.  

I then finally went out for my run and I'd planned to do around 7 miles and managed a little over this.  It was damp and so I wore long sleeves and leggings and I didn't push myself too hard and it felt quite comfortable.  I borrowed Alan's aftershoks headphones so I could hear well and listened to I am not your baby mother by Candice Brathwaite on audible, I heard her being interviewed on the High Low Podcast last week and I couldn't buy the book as it was sold out and actually I loved hearing her speak so I was keen to hear her narrate her own book.  It definitely made the run go a lot easier.  I also had an idea for a book I could write, something targetting siblings of kids with behavioural problems, I was that child and I read Superfudge by Judy Blume and found it really fun to read, but also really helpful.  No ideas of plots of anything yet, but a concept.

Alan rang me as I was running and I had to be quick as people were staring at me.  I then got back and he was sat drinking tea on the front step and watching the bumblebees.  I had a glass of orange squash and ice and an orange lolly and realised I'd forgotten to have any lunch.

We watched the Daily Briefing again and it's lovely that people who have been living alone can now form bubbles, but the rules around it did seem confusing and I'm still concerned that the death rate is high and that the back to school goals seem to have been abandoned rather than thought through in a considered fashion.

I then got a call from my boss who wanted to fill me in on a few things which was interesting and some food for thought.

Alan cooked hello fresh for tea and it was a really nice sweetcorn and chorizo creamy pasta and we had some naughty ice cream for dessert and then I went up for a bath and came down to watch more catfish and tidy up the dining room and the kitchen.

Isolation Journal 15

I was having a very strange dream when I woke up this morning, I was in the process of adopting 4 cats to add to 6 that I owned already in that dream.  The comedian Rob Beckett was driving a very expensive SUV that had crashed into a barrier - it was a very odd start to the day!

I had cornflakes and two black coffees again and started the day with the first team kick off meeting.  

Today was another busy day with MS teams meetings - a total of 6 which is pretty exhausting.  I had lunch around 1pm which was a jacket potato with cheese, butter and marmite and also iceberg lettuce salad.

I also had to run a BD incentive in the afternoon against a background of lots of meetings.  One that I dialled into was for our Unity work incentive prompted by the very recent events and black lives matters protests.  I wanted to dial in to find out more, see how people were feeling and also to know how I can better support people as an ally.  It was really sad to hear some of the stories of my colleagues that had clearly had an impact, but would be very easy for people to not be aware of, even down to a huge focus on how comfortable they felt with their hair.  It made me realise I definitely need to take notice.  I still feel really sad that it was only a matter of a few weeks into my first graduate job when I witnessed very direct racism in 2001.  I was in an office of about 7 people and there was a lady who was in her 50s and whenever a particular consultant from Birmingham called her she would answer the phone with "Hello my little brown friend" the first time I heard it I must have looked up in disgust/shock and I think that she said something along the lines of "she doesn't mind" and at 21 as a university graduate I didn't have the words to challenge even though I was "educated" and and was privaleged.  I would behave differently now, I would find the words and thankfully I would have a route to raise a grievance along the right channels and feel confident that it would be dealt with.  A few weeks later this person opened up a letter in the middle of the office from HR and the issue was addressed, but I always felt deeply uncomfortable and never felt that I'd done what I should have done in that situation.  I know that not having the words isn't an excuse, but what it does make me realise 19 years further on I might have to be the voice for someone in the room that doesn't have the words.

I worked until around 7.15pm to be able to get through what I needed to and to stay on top of emails.  I had a protein bar as a snack, but i'm thinking I might not bother as they taste awful!  Really dusty!

I contemplated going for a run, but I knew Alan was hungry and tired as was I so I cooked tea.  I made the Hello Fresh Sea bass with breadcrumbs, potato wedges, salad, sugar snap peas and tartare sauce.  I chatted to my Mum and Dad as I cooked tea and they were sounding happy having done some gardening and avoiding noisy green parakeets.  I then listened to a bit of the Archers in Lockdown.

We watched What's the matter with Tony Slattery and then some Catfish.

Isolation Journal 14

So this is now 2 weeks of writing a journal everyday and it's strange it feels like a lot has happened, but that also there is an overriding sense of deja vu.

This morning Alan was awake early, I had forgotten that he had to head into the office and so he got up and left around 8am.  I snoozed for a bit and put Headspace on for 10 minutes before getting up.

I had cornflakes for breakfast and a couple of coffees and then had a team meeting to start off the morning, then two client meetings and it's been pretty busy at work all day.  I've made a dent in some of the emails as when I have too many it feels as though I'm not on top of things and might miss something so hopefully I can get them squared off and feel more in control.

One of the meetings started at 11.30am and went on until about 12.20pm (although I was late to join as I hadn't realised it wasn't on Teams and that I'd get the automatic alert to say that it was ready to start, it was on googlemeet so I had to sign in separately.  I missed my Pilates class, but I did have a delivery which was addressed to Alan, but was my exciting customised Vans trainers with bees and flowers on.  I had pizza from last night for lunch and then I was a bit hungry for snacks and I had a protein bar and a mini babybel.

I had one interview request which I didn't manage to confirm by the end of the day and the important roles that I'd picked up last week for a colleague we got lots of interviews on, including one for a friend's partner which is good news.

I watched the daily briefing and only 55 deaths which was positive, but there is always a weekend lag.  Other news topics that were interesting were the reporting on the Coulson statue being pulled down yesterday.  I was also reading about how a donut place in Leeds that a lot of people raved about has been exposed by an ex employee to be owned by racists/neo nazis, I'd not been there, but it made for uncomfortable reading.

I then got some more roles in to refer to colleagues just as I was about to sign off and then I went for a run with Alan.  We ran about 5.2K and took it steady with a few walk breaks.  My right knee was really sore when I first woke up, but this did get better and was fine for the run.

Alan made tea when we got back - Hello Fresh - Halluomi with couscous and salad and we had Haagen Daas salted caramel ice cream and some double cream for tea!

I went up for a quick shower, but ended up having a stupidly long bath - I don't get relaxed by baths, I get stuck, mess around on my phone and realise that the water is cold.  

I cleaned up the kitchen and then came into the lounge and logged on to write this and to check some more work emails.

Alan went up for a bath and I turned on Catfish again to watch whilst dealing with emails.

Isolation Journal 13

I realised this evening when out for a run that it's only 2 weeks since the whole Dominic Cummings story broke and it feels like a lot of "news" has happened since that time which is strange as we're still all fairly locked down.  Today I felt fairly low energy, quite low and just wasn't sure what to do with myself really as I didn't feel very productive.  

Again it was a bit of a late rise for us both as I went to bed before Alan did and read some of my book - Uncommon Types by Tom Hanks - it's an attempt to get my brain back into reading and it's working slowly.  My concentration span is terrible these days.  We probably didn't get to sleep until around 3.30am again and so we didn't really get up until about 11am.

I made the same breakfast again and we had home baked bread toast (mine with marmite) and then avocado, scrambled egg and sriacha sauce and we watched some TV the IT Crowd and some more Catfish.  

I dug out my old creative writing from when I was about 20 and doing a module at Uni on my BA English Language and Literature.  It was run by the brother of Nigel Williams, but I can't remember his name!  Nigel Williams lived in Wimbledon and was a reasonably successful novelist and I went to several house parties that his son Jack had when I was about 16 - they were great parties.  I even read one of his books and told his Dad when he came into the kitchen during one of the parties to get a drink.  It's irritating me that I can't remember what his name was maybe John Williams?  As I read through it, particularly the bits from when I was mid 20s I realised just how odd the antidepressants I was on made me behave (especially cipralex and prozac).  I'd written down the highlights of some of my dreams and I know everyone's dreams are odd, but wow these were so strange.  Maybe they'll feed into some writing now that I have the distance and experience from that time in my life to process it all.  It's weird to consider that this is the month that I stopped taking antidepressants 7 years ago, but that I was on them for 12 years of my life.

I did a load of washing and hung it out and put away the dry washing that was on the rack.

I investigated some online writing retreats and listened to the intro of one.  I then went and read upstairs as Alan was playing around with the internet and it kept cutting out.  I set off some dough in the breadmaker.

I came downstairs and watched some more Catfish after Alan had showed me how to use the Apple TV that arrived this afternoon.

The dough finished in the breadmaker and so I made 3 pizzas with tomato puree topped with spring onion and red pepper that Alan prepped for me and then some mozzarella and serrano ham and I also used up some of the roasted veg left over from Friday night.

I let the pizza go down and both Alan and me gave each other neck rubs as we have both had consistent headaches for the last few days.  Maya came running in having caught another bird - again I feel awful about this.

I then got myself out for a run and did 6.1K in just over half an hour and it was cold and I wore the wrong shorts that are too small and short for me.

I had a bath and then we watched Hypothetical and I ate leftover rhubarb and apple crumble with cream.  

Isolation Journal 12

Alan and I were up late until around 3.30am last night, I was writing and working on a piece of flash fiction.   It was of course really late when we woke up, probably about 11am and so we got up and had breakfast.  I'd put a loaf on overnight in the breadmaker and we had scrambled eggs, avocado with sriracha sauce.  

We put Space Force on the TV and I ended up napping on the sofa for a bit which it occurred to me hasn't really happened in lockdown as I'm generally getting a lot more sleep.  

We'd debated going to the usual parkrun location at later than 9am as one of my friends had invited me, but we got up too late.  We even got up too late for virtual parkrun coffeeshop.  Lauren had also invited me to a creative writing group at 1pm, but I was a bit too exhausted although I'm really keen to join it next month.

I hoovered the house and tidied the kitchen and set off the dishwasher and tidied up the lounge - more to be done tomorrow.  I listended to the High Low Podcast as I was doing it.

Alan did more coding and then went to get the shopping via click and collect and I joined the dance class by our friends 6 year old daughter again.  She did a good job and I dropped off my £1 payment on my run along with returning the Singapore guide book that they had leant us and 7 egg boxes that I'd saved up.  They have chickens and right at the start of lockdown were very kind at giving us some eggs on a few occasions.  I debating running with the 6 eggs they gave us, but in the end I picked them up on the way home it seemed like a wiser move!  I ran a bit more steadily as my hips have been sore and so I managed about 3.5 miles in 32 minutes.  

Maya managed to catch and kill and bird and as usually insisted on bringing it all the way upstairs, I love birds and it really breaks my heart when the cats catch and kill them.

Alan cooked a very delicious Carribean lamb curry and made rhubarb and apple crumble for dinner.  

We then watched more Picard and finished the series and then I put on Catfish that I've not watched for ages.  

I considered thoughts around the Black Lives Matters protests, What was really interesting was that Alan mentioned he'd seen 2 people doing a little protest at the supermarket, I wonder if a really organised and very socially distanced protest could reach lots of different locations?  I also read this article which really did make me pause for thought on this.  

Isolation Journal 11

Supergroggy again this morning, went straight to "work" rather than having breakfast and ate cornflakes and had black coffee around 10am.  Work has been ridiculously busy this week and we've had more jobs come in this week that we would tend to expect in a "pre covid" week.  

I worked solidly on a few tasks and didn't end up having lunch until around 2pm.  I had a jacket potato with marmite and a salad with avocado, tomato, lettuce and carrot sticks. 

I carried on working away and spoke to lots of people and drowned in more emails.  I've really got to get on top of my emails as it makes me feel perpetually anxious when I know that I have too many - today there are over 700 that I need to get sorted.

I've also got lots of prep work that I need to do for the new system that we go onto in July - I've been with the company for over 12 years, so I have a lot of data to get validated and right.  I've also had a work dilemna that I need to sort out and will play on my mind unti l've resolved it, I've not done anything wrong, but someone misunderstood something and I need to explain it in a way that means they aren't unhappy.

I listened to the Daily Briefing which was pretty uneventful other than the fact that more people need to wear masks in more situations (I ordered a couple of masks from amazon this morning) and the R rate is likely to be more than 1 in both the South West and North West.

I finished work just after 6pm and got into my running gear as I wanted to get a run in before I listened another Arvon Reading.  I ran for half and hour and did just over 6K as I still need to get my vitality points.  I managed to have a quick shower and put my clothes on and get ready for the reading.  

This time it was Jo Brand and it was warm and engaging and funny.  I cooked tea as I watched on my laptop and made haloumi with roasted peppers, aubergine, corgette and red onion along with some left over bulgar wheat and brown rice cooked with vegetable stock. I then opened the mint chocolate box that I'd been given for my birthday. 

Qubit has spent the day in the same amazon box and Maya has been in and out all day, she came running in when it randomly started haling.

We watched some Picard and drank some Jim Beam and ginger beer and then moved onto the final series of Friends as my brain needed something easy.  Weirdly my left leg has started to be numb this evening, I hope it's just a weird anomalie, it feels different to when the nerve was really sore.

Isolation Journal 10

Alan slept in the other room last night because he had a cough, although then didn't cough at all in the night and seems to be fine now thankfully.

I got up and made breakfast and had coffee again - we're a bit short on milk so I went for yoghurt, granny smith apple and granola and it was really nice.  

We had our morning kick off meeting and then I prepped for my meeting with a client at 10am with one of my colleagues and it went well.  We've certainly been a lot busier this week which has been positive.

I then did pilates online with my physio with some really tough core exercises.  I had to move Qubit in the Amazon box out of the way.  

Alan cooked some more of our home grown artichokes for lunch with garlic and I had a carrot chopped into batons and then 2 crisp breads with goats cheese and chutney.  

Back to work and a launch call for a BD competition next week and then more calling and then a team quiz which was good fun even if I was completely rubbish.

Alan kindly cooked dinner - pil pil prawn stir fry with rice and brought it up to me and so I came downstairs to eat it, but remembered that my friend Lauren was having a short story read out on the radio and so tuned in just in time - it was really good!

I then had guides online at 7pm and one of our young leaders lead the session by doing an online dance session - it was tough, but really fun and she was so good!  We had some guides join in that had been reluctant to, it's hard to get them all to be comfortable with seeing themselves online, I wish I could help them feel more comfortable.

I read an interesting post from one of my friends about #blacklivesmatter in how she thought her white friends could help support the movement.  One thing she mentioned was how people should unfriend her if they were bigots and my view is slightly different, I won't allow people who are already in a negative echo chamber to increase their own noise, I think it's important to challenge negative views and also see how they are forming the opinions that I may strongly disagree with.

It rained a lot today, but fortunately by around 8pm it had stopped so I went out for about 30 minutes and did 6K.  I didn't mean to go particularly fast, but it was still less than 8.30 minute miles.

I was a bit covered in mud by the time I came back as I splashed in puddles so I had a bath with a lavender lush bubble bar.

I then logged on to do my isolation blog and my computer did some updates and got stuck, fortunately it saved everything!