Isolation Journal 14

So this is now 2 weeks of writing a journal everyday and it's strange it feels like a lot has happened, but that also there is an overriding sense of deja vu.

This morning Alan was awake early, I had forgotten that he had to head into the office and so he got up and left around 8am.  I snoozed for a bit and put Headspace on for 10 minutes before getting up.

I had cornflakes for breakfast and a couple of coffees and then had a team meeting to start off the morning, then two client meetings and it's been pretty busy at work all day.  I've made a dent in some of the emails as when I have too many it feels as though I'm not on top of things and might miss something so hopefully I can get them squared off and feel more in control.

One of the meetings started at 11.30am and went on until about 12.20pm (although I was late to join as I hadn't realised it wasn't on Teams and that I'd get the automatic alert to say that it was ready to start, it was on googlemeet so I had to sign in separately.  I missed my Pilates class, but I did have a delivery which was addressed to Alan, but was my exciting customised Vans trainers with bees and flowers on.  I had pizza from last night for lunch and then I was a bit hungry for snacks and I had a protein bar and a mini babybel.

I had one interview request which I didn't manage to confirm by the end of the day and the important roles that I'd picked up last week for a colleague we got lots of interviews on, including one for a friend's partner which is good news.

I watched the daily briefing and only 55 deaths which was positive, but there is always a weekend lag.  Other news topics that were interesting were the reporting on the Coulson statue being pulled down yesterday.  I was also reading about how a donut place in Leeds that a lot of people raved about has been exposed by an ex employee to be owned by racists/neo nazis, I'd not been there, but it made for uncomfortable reading.

I then got some more roles in to refer to colleagues just as I was about to sign off and then I went for a run with Alan.  We ran about 5.2K and took it steady with a few walk breaks.  My right knee was really sore when I first woke up, but this did get better and was fine for the run.

Alan made tea when we got back - Hello Fresh - Halluomi with couscous and salad and we had Haagen Daas salted caramel ice cream and some double cream for tea!

I went up for a quick shower, but ended up having a stupidly long bath - I don't get relaxed by baths, I get stuck, mess around on my phone and realise that the water is cold.  

I cleaned up the kitchen and then came into the lounge and logged on to write this and to check some more work emails.

Alan went up for a bath and I turned on Catfish again to watch whilst dealing with emails.

Isolation Journal 13

I realised this evening when out for a run that it's only 2 weeks since the whole Dominic Cummings story broke and it feels like a lot of "news" has happened since that time which is strange as we're still all fairly locked down.  Today I felt fairly low energy, quite low and just wasn't sure what to do with myself really as I didn't feel very productive.  

Again it was a bit of a late rise for us both as I went to bed before Alan did and read some of my book - Uncommon Types by Tom Hanks - it's an attempt to get my brain back into reading and it's working slowly.  My concentration span is terrible these days.  We probably didn't get to sleep until around 3.30am again and so we didn't really get up until about 11am.

I made the same breakfast again and we had home baked bread toast (mine with marmite) and then avocado, scrambled egg and sriacha sauce and we watched some TV the IT Crowd and some more Catfish.  

I dug out my old creative writing from when I was about 20 and doing a module at Uni on my BA English Language and Literature.  It was run by the brother of Nigel Williams, but I can't remember his name!  Nigel Williams lived in Wimbledon and was a reasonably successful novelist and I went to several house parties that his son Jack had when I was about 16 - they were great parties.  I even read one of his books and told his Dad when he came into the kitchen during one of the parties to get a drink.  It's irritating me that I can't remember what his name was maybe John Williams?  As I read through it, particularly the bits from when I was mid 20s I realised just how odd the antidepressants I was on made me behave (especially cipralex and prozac).  I'd written down the highlights of some of my dreams and I know everyone's dreams are odd, but wow these were so strange.  Maybe they'll feed into some writing now that I have the distance and experience from that time in my life to process it all.  It's weird to consider that this is the month that I stopped taking antidepressants 7 years ago, but that I was on them for 12 years of my life.

I did a load of washing and hung it out and put away the dry washing that was on the rack.

I investigated some online writing retreats and listened to the intro of one.  I then went and read upstairs as Alan was playing around with the internet and it kept cutting out.  I set off some dough in the breadmaker.

I came downstairs and watched some more Catfish after Alan had showed me how to use the Apple TV that arrived this afternoon.

The dough finished in the breadmaker and so I made 3 pizzas with tomato puree topped with spring onion and red pepper that Alan prepped for me and then some mozzarella and serrano ham and I also used up some of the roasted veg left over from Friday night.

I let the pizza go down and both Alan and me gave each other neck rubs as we have both had consistent headaches for the last few days.  Maya came running in having caught another bird - again I feel awful about this.

I then got myself out for a run and did 6.1K in just over half an hour and it was cold and I wore the wrong shorts that are too small and short for me.

I had a bath and then we watched Hypothetical and I ate leftover rhubarb and apple crumble with cream.  

Isolation Journal 12

Alan and I were up late until around 3.30am last night, I was writing and working on a piece of flash fiction.   It was of course really late when we woke up, probably about 11am and so we got up and had breakfast.  I'd put a loaf on overnight in the breadmaker and we had scrambled eggs, avocado with sriracha sauce.  

We put Space Force on the TV and I ended up napping on the sofa for a bit which it occurred to me hasn't really happened in lockdown as I'm generally getting a lot more sleep.  

We'd debated going to the usual parkrun location at later than 9am as one of my friends had invited me, but we got up too late.  We even got up too late for virtual parkrun coffeeshop.  Lauren had also invited me to a creative writing group at 1pm, but I was a bit too exhausted although I'm really keen to join it next month.

I hoovered the house and tidied the kitchen and set off the dishwasher and tidied up the lounge - more to be done tomorrow.  I listended to the High Low Podcast as I was doing it.

Alan did more coding and then went to get the shopping via click and collect and I joined the dance class by our friends 6 year old daughter again.  She did a good job and I dropped off my £1 payment on my run along with returning the Singapore guide book that they had leant us and 7 egg boxes that I'd saved up.  They have chickens and right at the start of lockdown were very kind at giving us some eggs on a few occasions.  I debating running with the 6 eggs they gave us, but in the end I picked them up on the way home it seemed like a wiser move!  I ran a bit more steadily as my hips have been sore and so I managed about 3.5 miles in 32 minutes.  

Maya managed to catch and kill and bird and as usually insisted on bringing it all the way upstairs, I love birds and it really breaks my heart when the cats catch and kill them.

Alan cooked a very delicious Carribean lamb curry and made rhubarb and apple crumble for dinner.  

We then watched more Picard and finished the series and then I put on Catfish that I've not watched for ages.  

I considered thoughts around the Black Lives Matters protests, What was really interesting was that Alan mentioned he'd seen 2 people doing a little protest at the supermarket, I wonder if a really organised and very socially distanced protest could reach lots of different locations?  I also read this article which really did make me pause for thought on this.  

Isolation Journal 11

Supergroggy again this morning, went straight to "work" rather than having breakfast and ate cornflakes and had black coffee around 10am.  Work has been ridiculously busy this week and we've had more jobs come in this week that we would tend to expect in a "pre covid" week.  

I worked solidly on a few tasks and didn't end up having lunch until around 2pm.  I had a jacket potato with marmite and a salad with avocado, tomato, lettuce and carrot sticks. 

I carried on working away and spoke to lots of people and drowned in more emails.  I've really got to get on top of my emails as it makes me feel perpetually anxious when I know that I have too many - today there are over 700 that I need to get sorted.

I've also got lots of prep work that I need to do for the new system that we go onto in July - I've been with the company for over 12 years, so I have a lot of data to get validated and right.  I've also had a work dilemna that I need to sort out and will play on my mind unti l've resolved it, I've not done anything wrong, but someone misunderstood something and I need to explain it in a way that means they aren't unhappy.

I listened to the Daily Briefing which was pretty uneventful other than the fact that more people need to wear masks in more situations (I ordered a couple of masks from amazon this morning) and the R rate is likely to be more than 1 in both the South West and North West.

I finished work just after 6pm and got into my running gear as I wanted to get a run in before I listened another Arvon Reading.  I ran for half and hour and did just over 6K as I still need to get my vitality points.  I managed to have a quick shower and put my clothes on and get ready for the reading.  

This time it was Jo Brand and it was warm and engaging and funny.  I cooked tea as I watched on my laptop and made haloumi with roasted peppers, aubergine, corgette and red onion along with some left over bulgar wheat and brown rice cooked with vegetable stock. I then opened the mint chocolate box that I'd been given for my birthday. 

Qubit has spent the day in the same amazon box and Maya has been in and out all day, she came running in when it randomly started haling.

We watched some Picard and drank some Jim Beam and ginger beer and then moved onto the final series of Friends as my brain needed something easy.  Weirdly my left leg has started to be numb this evening, I hope it's just a weird anomalie, it feels different to when the nerve was really sore.

Isolation Journal 10

Alan slept in the other room last night because he had a cough, although then didn't cough at all in the night and seems to be fine now thankfully.

I got up and made breakfast and had coffee again - we're a bit short on milk so I went for yoghurt, granny smith apple and granola and it was really nice.  

We had our morning kick off meeting and then I prepped for my meeting with a client at 10am with one of my colleagues and it went well.  We've certainly been a lot busier this week which has been positive.

I then did pilates online with my physio with some really tough core exercises.  I had to move Qubit in the Amazon box out of the way.  

Alan cooked some more of our home grown artichokes for lunch with garlic and I had a carrot chopped into batons and then 2 crisp breads with goats cheese and chutney.  

Back to work and a launch call for a BD competition next week and then more calling and then a team quiz which was good fun even if I was completely rubbish.

Alan kindly cooked dinner - pil pil prawn stir fry with rice and brought it up to me and so I came downstairs to eat it, but remembered that my friend Lauren was having a short story read out on the radio and so tuned in just in time - it was really good!

I then had guides online at 7pm and one of our young leaders lead the session by doing an online dance session - it was tough, but really fun and she was so good!  We had some guides join in that had been reluctant to, it's hard to get them all to be comfortable with seeing themselves online, I wish I could help them feel more comfortable.

I read an interesting post from one of my friends about #blacklivesmatter in how she thought her white friends could help support the movement.  One thing she mentioned was how people should unfriend her if they were bigots and my view is slightly different, I won't allow people who are already in a negative echo chamber to increase their own noise, I think it's important to challenge negative views and also see how they are forming the opinions that I may strongly disagree with.

It rained a lot today, but fortunately by around 8pm it had stopped so I went out for about 30 minutes and did 6K.  I didn't mean to go particularly fast, but it was still less than 8.30 minute miles.

I was a bit covered in mud by the time I came back as I splashed in puddles so I had a bath with a lavender lush bubble bar.

I then logged on to do my isolation blog and my computer did some updates and got stuck, fortunately it saved everything!

Isolation Journal 9

Today I was supposed to be on a day off at work, but I had to do a few bits and pieces and this evening managed to book a very important meeting and so have been prepping for that meeting that will be at 10am tomorrow morning.

I had coffee and cornflakes for breakfast again and I faffed around a bit on the internet doing a few bits for work, watched some Frasier with Alan and listened to the Archers on the BBC Sounds app whilst and then got into my run kit to persuade myself to go running.  It was much rainier today so actually it was much cooler to go running.  I am still tracking ok for my 1000 mile yearly target, but the walk on Monday meant I had a bit of catching up to do so I needed to run 8km.  I then got distracted watching PMQs and I had to get back before 2pm to give me time for a shower and food before going to meet my friend Tana for a socially distanced walk.  I managed to do a more or less out and back route through Lumby and kept a decent pace and picked up 3 Strava trophies and average pace of 8.16 per mile.

I had a shower and then had a granny smith, a yoghurt and some goats cheese and chutney on crispbreads for lunch.  

I was meeting Tana and her very cute 2.5 month old baby girl for the first time at Walton Colliery Park for a walk which was lovely and we saw some goslings and swans.  We walked for an hour and got a bit lost, but found our way back to the carpark.  It was so nice to catch up and I really feel for anyone who has had a baby around this time, hopefully we'll be in a better situation soon and at least she got to meet her grandparents just before lockdown.

Driving was weird as I was on the motorway and it was as busy as usual and more busy than I would have expected at 3pm and I drove back around the start of "rush hour" too.  

I watched the daily briefing which was fragmented and confusing and I'm still baffled why the MPs have voted to not use online voting.  I drank a bottle of kombucha and remembered I should buy more.

Alan went out for a run and I listened to some more Archers and cooked Hello Fresh for tea Hake with tomato, caper and olive sauce and tagliattelli.  I had to make my decision on work so I've opted for 80% for July to review as needed as this week we have had far more new roles come in.

I'd been debating whether to do Zumba at 7pm or attend an online talk by Tania Hershman and I decided on the talk.  She talked about her work which includes what she calls "hybrid" work and I loved this concept.  I had hoped to do a bit more writing today, but I felt quite cross and out of sorts and I'm not sure why (other than all the obvious horrific things going on)

I then subscribed to Hay Player  as I wanted to watch a few things including a few James O'brien talks. 

The news that Alok Sharma has contracted Coronavirus and is having to self isolate I found interesting and I wonder if that will make MPs rethink this cancelling of online voting as by voting for it in this way is like saying they want to conduct a survey of physically disabled people, but going to the top a 25 storey building with no lifts to do it.  I don't get the logic of voting against not only the interests of your constituents, but in this situation putting yourself at risk.

Isolation Journal 8

Today was a pretty exhausting day, another day of work starting with a 9am kick off meeting.  Again I had a couple of black coffees and some cornflakes for breakfast and during the 9am meeting I learned that having worked at 80% hours for the past 2 months we are going to have this reviewed and I could potentially go back to 100% or stay at 80%.  I have found having more free time has been good over the past 2 months, it's allowed me to do more focussed work for Guides and runclub as well as tidy the house, train and do blogging and the creative writing last week.  In the last couple of days at work though it's been signficantly more busy so I'm thinking that I could easily fill 5 days of work, there's is plenty to do.  I'm not sure what I'll decide or exactly when I need to have decided by, but the whole lockdown situation has made me value having more time at home and less time commuting.  

After the 9am meeting, we then had a temp update meeting and I helped one of my team in preparing a proposal for a client which I found out later this afternoon was accepted which is a big relief.  

I knew I had a busy evening this evening so I went out to post a letter to a friend and go for my run at lunchtime.  I had shared a tweet over the weekend from Postsecret about someone's biggest fear being able to not be with their pet if they had to be put to sleep because of the Covid situation, it is a huge fear for me and I hadn't realised that one of my very few twitter followers who I'm friends with in real life had been through this.  I felt bad, although I don't think she thought I'd done it intentionally so I sent her a card with some seeds to plant to remember her kitty and also a dribble that I'd written about cats.  I hope she likes it and it doesn't upset her more.  I also remembered that I'd planned on sending a tangle to one of my colleagues who mentioned she'd been really picking at her hands with all the anxiety.

My run was fast today, I managed to get a PB on a segment near me and was onlyl 8 seconds off being the fastest woman to have run it, I did just over 5K in just around 26 minutes.  I grabbed an orangle lolly out of the freezer and a pint of orange squash with ice and a bit of salt thrown in to cool down.  I was then straight back onto another teams call to launch an BD session for the afternoon and then a meeting about the housing sector and another about government and then a wrap up call - it was exhausting!  I managed to pick up 2 leads for colleagues in the North West that will hopefully turn into jobs and so it wasn't completely meeting focussed thankfully.  I realised that after signing in for the call straight after my run that an hour passed before I realised I'd not eaten so I quickly prepped a carrot and cucumber into sticks as well as cheese (coverdale and goats) chutney and a couple of slices of serrano ham.  

I then had 15 mins away from the laptop before running my virtual #runandtalk meeting for the run club, we had 6 people sign in and a nice chat about how we were finding things.  I was hungry so I'd grabbed a granny smith apple and cut it into chunks and a babybel light. I then had a call with my friends Hayley and Sam for a catch up for about an hour and a half.  and Alan very kindly made Beef Ragu for tea from Hello Fresh.  We talked about how we are all still very nervous of being out and about, even if we are allowed more freedom at the moment.  Hayley also told us about a commission she's working on.  I tidied the kitchen, grabbed another glass of white wine and a gu pudding and had a sneaky couple of slices of serrano ham.

I read a lot more about the unrest going on in America today, I blacked out my facebook and Instagram for #blackouttuesday and I'm still trying to read and learn more about how I can support black people better.  I feel ignorant, I feel ashamed, I feel guilty and I'm confused as to what I can do, so I'm going to do my best to learn more and try and support more.