When marathons go bad.... Manchester Marathon 2019

This time last year I was struggling to run.  Well that's not strictly true, I wasn't running.   I'd not been signed off by the consultant or my physio after my dislocated and fractured shoulder, but exactly a year ago yesterday I did walk Whernside in a sling.

I was able to start running again, slowly in a sling around the end of April 2018 and was knocking out 24.45 minutes at parkrun.  However, I decided against attempting to run Liverpool Marathon as planned, or even dropping to the half as it would have been too risky.

My appreciation for running has evolved hugely since I wasn't able to run for quite some time and I now genuinely appreciate every run in case it does for whatever reason end up being my last.  

My last marathon at Yorkshire in October 2017 was my second fastest out of 9, but didn't go to plan with a knee niggle at 9 miles in and with Manchester marketed as "flat" I had hoped I'd be able to get closer to my PB of 3.47... or even close to good for age!  Although I know I'm a good 5 kg heavier than when I ran my PB, which doesn't really help matters!

Training has been pretty good this year, I've been getting out at least 4 times a week and have only really missed out one long run.  I even managed to complete Spen 20 in the worst conditions I've probably ever run in and got around in 3 hours 12, so logically I figured a flat full marathon I should be coming in sub 4 hours.

I got up early and made my long run breakfast which is usually perfect fueling - porridge oats, milk, golden syrup and peanut butter and took it with me to eat in the car.  I made sure the night before to drink plenty of water, but not too much on the morning.  I slapped 3 layers of compeed on an annoying blister on my ankle to try and avoid it being a niggle during the race.

We were taking Danielle - Alan's colleague with us to Manchester and we set off at 6.30am and then aimed for Ladywell park and ride tram stop which was a perfect transport plan as we got off at Pomona and it was about a 10 minute walk to the start area with plentiful toilets and slightly chaotic and unpoliced, but easy to access start pens.  We had a good hour to spare which was perfect.

I always get toilet anxiety before races and usually have to go at least twice, As the first few waves set off and Danielle was in a wave in front of me I took the chance to jump out of the pen area and have a last minute pee break.

I set off aiming for a comfortable pace (I know I have a habit of setting off too fast) and happened to more or less fall in line with the 3.45 hour pacer who initially seemed a bit too fast, then a bit too slow when I overtook him about 6 miles in.  I was hitting an average of 8.30 minute miles for the first 10 miles and dropped slightly the pace slightly but hit splits of 52 mins 10K, 1.55 for the first half and then 2.56 for the 30K mark.  I tried to be careful with nutrition and just drank my own electrolytes and water for the first 6 miles and took on a few shot bloks every 40 minutes.  It's always too tempting for me to take on too much water, but I tried to make sure I drank a few sips and then used the rest to cool down my hands as they always swell massively when I run long distances.

It was lovely to bump into Lois just after the halfway point who was going for (and achieved!) sub 4 hours.  She was looking on great form and really comfortable.

For the first half my Garmin was telling me that my estimated finish time was anything between 3.40 and 3.55.  The 20 - 30K distance was hard as I started to feel like I had some stomach cramps and had to slow down a bit, I got to the "hill" at mile 12 which wasn't too bad at all and by this point my I still felt like I had energy, my legs were ok and I had not had any blister issues.  A bloke tried to chat to me asking me if I ran Woodhouse Moor parkrun and told me that he'd seen my photos on Facebook, it was a bit odd and I was still trying to focus on my own running and he was slower than me so I powered on probably seeming rude.

I started feeling really quite queasy around mile 15 and so stopped for a toilet break, which turned out to be unnecessary after I'd queued up.  I managed to more or less run for another 3 miles, but then I started to feel really cramped up and painful and so run walked until I could see the toilets again and had to spend a good few minutes in there.  I was really feeling poorly at this point and quite light headed.  I looked at my phone for a bit and ended up reading a message from that morning from an old school friend Jenny who I've not seen for around 20 years telling me that my posts about parkrun had inspired her to give it a try - it helped to spur me on when I knew I had 8 and a bit more miles to complete.

I tried to run, but it just wasn't happening, it was so frustrating as I had energy, I had no injuries, but I just couldn't move my body.  I knew that I could walk fast and that I felt well enough to complete the race because I'm stubborn and I don't have any races as DNFs and so this wasn't going to be my first.

Walking gave me more time to look around and notice a few things, like the guy at mile 19 who was clearly having an equally frustrating time and grunting loudly in frustration and giving the mile marker the finger (I tried hard not to giggle, but he was illustrating more obviously my own frustrations!)

I tried some of the carbo gels on offer to see if that would fix me, they didn't.  I kept on walking and walking and fortunately Manchester is an interesting route and so there was plenty to occupy my mind although walking past people cheering you on is an odd experience - I wanted to say "I'm ok I just can't run!", but it was a bit too complicated so I just smiled as much as I could and kept walking.  

A man ran past me and said "Do you know Nicola Forwood?  Tell her not to stand up Mark again!" I'm assuming he was guessing from my HPH vest I would know her, although I don't know who he was - all I saw was the word "Arena" on the back of his t-shirt!

At around mile 20 something else happened to my body that I've only had once before during my fastest running of the Yorkshire 3 Peaks (5 hours 44) and it felt like I had a particularly bad case of Cystitis.  Every time I tried to run was incredibly painful, so I just carried on walking.  I stopped again for an even longer toilet break with less than 5K to go and messaged Alan to apologise for the fact they'd be waiting for ages for me.  

I kept on walking and approached a group of people playing music and heard the chorus of "One Day Like This" by Elbow and as I was walking I could hear it for much longer than if I'd been running past.  It feels like an emotional song for me anyway as it reminds me of seeing them with Alan and with all the emotion you get from running a marathon it made me burst into tears and I spent the next mile sobbing and smiling at the same time as I carried on walking.  I tried to jog whenever I heard music, but my body just wasn't letting me.  

A lady shouted to me at mile 25 "keep going half of Manchester is just there to cheer you on" and she wasn't wrong the support as you get into the final mile is fantastic, which made it all the more embarrassing that I was still walking.

I loved that the last 1K you can pretty much see the finish line and I kept on moving and still couldn't run, even as 2 men dressed as Bert and Ernie overtook me to shouts of people "we can't be beaten by Bert and Ernie!"  

I managed to run for the last couple of 100 metres and spotted Alan who was cheering me on and got over the finish line looking like I might have at least run a bit of it.  I think my running photos will look ridiculous though as I'm definitely crying in at least one of them!

The finish area was a bit confusing (although it's probably just because I was exhausted!) and so I got my medal, soreen, t-shirt and water and went to the toilet (again!) before managing to find Alan and poor Danielle who had finished over an hour before me with an amazing 3 hour 40 time knocking over 30 minutes off her PB. 

My gun time was 4:54.30 - it took me nearly 2 whole hours to do the last 12K!

Some people might say why did I bother finishing, why not take the refuge bus if I was feeling ill, but I know myself well enough on long distance running that I wasn't going to pass out and if I did feel that bad I'd sit down and get some help.  If I'd have known I was likely to feel that poorly when I was running I may not have got to the start line, but I felt absolutely fine when I set off.  Maybe I was ill and didn't realise with a bug or something, maybe I ate something dodgy the day before (the pasta dish from Friday night left out on the cooker all day probably wasn't the best pre-race meal!) maybe it was just not my day - which was a shame as the potential to have a good race was all there on paper.  

Ultimately I'm stubborn, I wanted a medal and I wanted to retain my clean record of always completing a race that I've started and I knew I wouldn't damage myself by doing so.  I know some people criticised Paula Radcliffe when she pulled out of the Athens marathon at mile 22 in 2004 and I'll be honest before I had run a marathon I couldn't understand why she wouldn't limp around for her country and complete the race for her country.  However, as running was her job, she would potentially have destroyed her chances of future success, so I completely get it and I would advise anyone in that situation to pull out and seek help.  If you are only pushing yourself for the sake of it and are actively damaging yourself further, it's not worth it - there are always more races!  You've got to do what is right for your body at that moment in time.

I staggered around and found Alan and Danielle and we managed to get back to the tram station and back to the car and the cystitis feeling was still there and extremely painful.  In the car on the way back Danielle fed us with some home cooked sausage rolls, cheese straws and rocky roads which were all very welcome and very delicious!  NB.  The cystitis thing was awful all evening, but has gone this morning - I did what you are not supposed to do and googled it and found this article which perhaps explains it and also means I perhaps should try and have less anxiety wees!  It''s either a rare running anomaly or one of those things we don't discuss as runners, but perhaps should mention so we don't all feel like weirdos?!

So I'm left feeling disappointed with myself, a little at least, but this is exactly the same time I ran my first marathon at Edinburgh in 2010 to the minute.  Running a marathon teaches you loads about who you are as a person, what you can overcome and having felt less than strong in some areas of my life recently it's been a really positive boost to have at least managed to get myself over the finish line. I definitely maintain running a marathon in 4 hours is much less painful than running it in nearly 5 hours or longer, so I am in massive admiration of runners smashing sub 3 hour times or those completing it in 6 hours, 7 hours or more - they're all huge achievements.  

My last comment is that this is one bad marathon out of 10 that I've run, so don't let it put you off having a try - the most important thing you can do is train well and plan effectively for your day and listen to your body carefully if it doesn't go to plan for you on the day.

And so I now look to putting to bed the ghost of 2018 and this race and running Liverpool in 7 weeks the marathon that I had to miss last year because of my shoulder - wish me luck!

Shopping and coffee drinking Ubud style

It's easy to forget sometimes as you are walking around Ubud just how pretty everything is as there is so much beauty everywhere.  A simple shop will have a beautiful floral decoration outside or a pile of offerings carefully crafted with many coloured flowers displayed.  Even the shops have their wares presented beautifully - all brightly coloured items either clashing in a very attractive way, or clothes arranged as per the colours of the rainbow.  I feel very fortunate to be able to enjoy this as I've yet to come across another British tourist - Dutch, German, Australian and American yes, but no Brits at all - where are they all?

Rachel came by after breakfast and we went out for a wander looking in some of the funky shops and also stopping off for a few coffees and drinks along the way.  First of all we went to Tutmak Coffee Shop where Rach had breakfast and I had a couple of iced coffees and a lemongrass and ginger drink and Kiran had....a very long nap on the comfy cushions.  

We then wandered past Hibiscus Bar which isn't a bar anymore and is actually a cushion shop

If your image of Ubud streets is purely based on Eat Pray Love, you'll be amazed at how much more chaotic everything is - there are *loads* of motorbikes everywhere, loads of offerings all over the place including the floor, random dogs and lots of people offering Taxis and in a way that makes it sound dirty "Nice massage very good price".  Here is a typical picture of the street

I like the chaos and the noise and the random blend of smells - rubbish and litter, incense, spicy cooking, a different blend of incense, and the general smell of tropical vegetation.  

There is loads of art everywhere in Ubud which is really interesting to look at - here is Rachel outside an art shop along with some slightly more random examples!  She's also wearing a slightly different baby carrier - Kiran seemed very comfortable and did quite a lot of sleeping whilst we were walking around.

We walked around a few more shops including a very plush shop with awesome, but very expensive children's clothes - it had some bird boxes outside.

Then it was off to Bar Luna for lunch which had some comfy cushions which helpfully were transformed into a soft baby prison for Kiran to stop him crawling off and falling onto the floor!

And of course we needed dessert so we stopped for some very reasonable sorbet at an icecream shop about £1 per scoop.  Rachel (and Kiran!) had passionfruit sorbet and I had lime sorbet.

We walked back in a circuit and past BAWA which is a sort of RSPCA equivalent.  Rachel adopted her cat Queenie from them, but she told me a rather worrying story where she reported a dog that had lots of puppies, and then another litter and they came to take photos of it and then instead of taking it away, came back and dropped off some more puppies for it to be a surrogate mother to!

We then walked past Monkey Forest and saw a couple that had "escaped" (Rachel is a bit immune to them as she sees them a lot - they probably seem a bit like squirrels to her!)

After all the walking around we were all hot and bothered so decided to go back to the hotel to cool off with a dip in the pool.  It was also a chance to give Kiran his first swimming lesson!  Maya apparently howled the first time she was in a swimming pool, but Kiran loved it!  He splashed around, smiling and laughing and even splashed other people in the pool!

So here is what I managed to spend some money on in the course of our shopping trip:  A lovely dress/long top and some aromatherapy spray - very refreshing in such a hot climate.

So Rachel then was picked up about 4.30pm and I went for a nap and then headed back to Bar Luna for dinner - apparently it's supposed to be a fairly social place for travelers  but at the moment, I'm the only one here and have been since the 4 people telling stories of getting drunk in Bankok and dropped off at a police station by a taxi driver left about 30 mins ago...I have to say though, I am enjoying my own company for a change and it's nice to be able to slow down and enjoy just doing very simple things like eating and drinking - slowly....  Bar Luna is famous for "literary" stuff and they do readings etc and so their menu is peppered with references to literature and so it's only right that for my dinner I had a "Graham Greene Salad" (I didn't even eat the bread - I'd be a rake if I lived here permanently!  

A busy, lazy Balinese day

Just like a kid at Christmas, I didn't end up being able to sleep until about 2am last night as I was very excited to be here.  

This is the gorgeous view from my room window.

Breakfast was served between 7am and 10am so I set the alarm for 8am and made my way down to the dining area.  Breakfast was simple - pineapple, papaya, watermelon and orange (with a green skin) and an egg sandwich, but it was all very tasty and served in lovely surroundings.  

The guy cleaning my room came over and returned my key asking me 

"How long are you staying?" 
"12 days"
"12 days here?  That is too long"

Certainly customer service honesty there - either that or he was trying to sell me a tour!

Rachel then messaged to say that she was coming over and arrived with Made and the kids.  Maya was very excited about her belated birthday presents including Hello Kitty balloons and a Hello Kitty book and Kiran was happy to just try and bite the balloons.  Maya was very keen to go swimming so we wandered down to the pool and Maya was very happy and confident in the water and trying hard to get Rachel to go towards the deep end!  

We went back to the room and got changed (Maya into the green dress my Mum bought her which definitely fits and will do for a while!) to head out for lunch and Rachel put Kiran in the sling which looked very comfortable.  I can definitely see why these are favoured from walking along Ubud streets that are uneven with holes - Maya found some of them pretty tricky to navigate with her little feet.

We went to Three Monkeys Cafe and I had a Nasi Goreng which was beautifully served and very tasty and Rachel took the advantage to have some western food and had a Greek Platter.  It was all very tasty and there were some lovely patient waiting staff who brought out some fish food so that a mischievous Maya who had been carefully throwing decorative stones into the pond could feed the fish instead!  

Maya and Kiran were both pretty sleepy at this point and so I carried a sleeping Kiran back to the room and Maya went in the sling with Rachel.  They didn't do a great deal of sleeping, but we sat outside my room on the porch playing with toys and drinking Balinese coffee and persuading Maya that she didn't want to go running off down the steps as there was a big snake down there (she doesn't actually appear to be afraid of anything, so this was not as successful a deterrent as you would imagine).  I am in much admiration for Rachel being able to look after a very spirited 2 year old who is not afraid of anything (real or imaginary) and a very happy baby boy who launches himself towards perilous drops off the side of the steps given half a chance, I would be totally exhausted, but Rachel seems to be taking it in her stride and Maya and Kiran are both happy and lively children.  (Kiran has the most amazing shy grin that he does when you smile at him - it's gorgeous!

Made came and picked Rachel and the kids up and I went for a snooze and watched the end of Eat Pray Love and then headed out for dinner at about 8.30pm.  I went to Bumi Bali which was totally empty which worried me a little, but the food was lovely - I had a special for 130000 rupiah (about £8) which was a starter of cramcam - spicy chicken soup, duck with rice, vegetables and satay sauce and then for dessert - Godoh - banana fritters.  They weren't massive portions, but I was totally stuffed - the hot weather must be a good appetite suppressant!  I had a glass of Balinese rice wine too which was nice, but did taste a bit like the tea and raisin wine I attempted to make under my bed when I was 14.  I went into Bumi Bali as they seem to have Yoga classes, cookery classes and also some very good deals on  spa packages - traditional Massage, facial, hair cream bath (!), manicure and pedicure with polish for 4.5 hours in total and only 320000 rupiah plus 15% tax - about £22!

I then went to buy some more provisions in the form of drinks including grape juice and a couple of cans of Bintang (avoided the Tebz - tea & soda which does actually look like something I should make myself try!).  I popped into the restaurant attached to my hotel for a coffee (was contemplating venturing solo into a bar, but they were either full to the brim and very loud with live music or completely empty - neither of which appealed to me in my still sleepy and jet lagged state of mind.  Will do something more exciting tomorrow, I have promised myself)  

Sorry there are no pictures on this blog post, after a very successful first night of internet, it's been much more intermittent and temperamental today and also I forgot to transer my photos onto the netbook (the lead is back in the room, I'm in the breakfast area sat next to the wifi router!)  I'll update the post when I have better wifi connectivity!

Update - pics are all on now!