When marathons go bad.... Manchester Marathon 2019

This time last year I was struggling to run.  Well that's not strictly true, I wasn't running.   I'd not been signed off by the consultant or my physio after my dislocated and fractured shoulder, but exactly a year ago yesterday I did walk Whernside in a sling.

I was able to start running again, slowly in a sling around the end of April 2018 and was knocking out 24.45 minutes at parkrun.  However, I decided against attempting to run Liverpool Marathon as planned, or even dropping to the half as it would have been too risky.

My appreciation for running has evolved hugely since I wasn't able to run for quite some time and I now genuinely appreciate every run in case it does for whatever reason end up being my last.  

My last marathon at Yorkshire in October 2017 was my second fastest out of 9, but didn't go to plan with a knee niggle at 9 miles in and with Manchester marketed as "flat" I had hoped I'd be able to get closer to my PB of 3.47... or even close to good for age!  Although I know I'm a good 5 kg heavier than when I ran my PB, which doesn't really help matters!

Training has been pretty good this year, I've been getting out at least 4 times a week and have only really missed out one long run.  I even managed to complete Spen 20 in the worst conditions I've probably ever run in and got around in 3 hours 12, so logically I figured a flat full marathon I should be coming in sub 4 hours.

I got up early and made my long run breakfast which is usually perfect fueling - porridge oats, milk, golden syrup and peanut butter and took it with me to eat in the car.  I made sure the night before to drink plenty of water, but not too much on the morning.  I slapped 3 layers of compeed on an annoying blister on my ankle to try and avoid it being a niggle during the race.

We were taking Danielle - Alan's colleague with us to Manchester and we set off at 6.30am and then aimed for Ladywell park and ride tram stop which was a perfect transport plan as we got off at Pomona and it was about a 10 minute walk to the start area with plentiful toilets and slightly chaotic and unpoliced, but easy to access start pens.  We had a good hour to spare which was perfect.

I always get toilet anxiety before races and usually have to go at least twice, As the first few waves set off and Danielle was in a wave in front of me I took the chance to jump out of the pen area and have a last minute pee break.

I set off aiming for a comfortable pace (I know I have a habit of setting off too fast) and happened to more or less fall in line with the 3.45 hour pacer who initially seemed a bit too fast, then a bit too slow when I overtook him about 6 miles in.  I was hitting an average of 8.30 minute miles for the first 10 miles and dropped slightly the pace slightly but hit splits of 52 mins 10K, 1.55 for the first half and then 2.56 for the 30K mark.  I tried to be careful with nutrition and just drank my own electrolytes and water for the first 6 miles and took on a few shot bloks every 40 minutes.  It's always too tempting for me to take on too much water, but I tried to make sure I drank a few sips and then used the rest to cool down my hands as they always swell massively when I run long distances.

It was lovely to bump into Lois just after the halfway point who was going for (and achieved!) sub 4 hours.  She was looking on great form and really comfortable.

For the first half my Garmin was telling me that my estimated finish time was anything between 3.40 and 3.55.  The 20 - 30K distance was hard as I started to feel like I had some stomach cramps and had to slow down a bit, I got to the "hill" at mile 12 which wasn't too bad at all and by this point my I still felt like I had energy, my legs were ok and I had not had any blister issues.  A bloke tried to chat to me asking me if I ran Woodhouse Moor parkrun and told me that he'd seen my photos on Facebook, it was a bit odd and I was still trying to focus on my own running and he was slower than me so I powered on probably seeming rude.

I started feeling really quite queasy around mile 15 and so stopped for a toilet break, which turned out to be unnecessary after I'd queued up.  I managed to more or less run for another 3 miles, but then I started to feel really cramped up and painful and so run walked until I could see the toilets again and had to spend a good few minutes in there.  I was really feeling poorly at this point and quite light headed.  I looked at my phone for a bit and ended up reading a message from that morning from an old school friend Jenny who I've not seen for around 20 years telling me that my posts about parkrun had inspired her to give it a try - it helped to spur me on when I knew I had 8 and a bit more miles to complete.

I tried to run, but it just wasn't happening, it was so frustrating as I had energy, I had no injuries, but I just couldn't move my body.  I knew that I could walk fast and that I felt well enough to complete the race because I'm stubborn and I don't have any races as DNFs and so this wasn't going to be my first.

Walking gave me more time to look around and notice a few things, like the guy at mile 19 who was clearly having an equally frustrating time and grunting loudly in frustration and giving the mile marker the finger (I tried hard not to giggle, but he was illustrating more obviously my own frustrations!)

I tried some of the carbo gels on offer to see if that would fix me, they didn't.  I kept on walking and walking and fortunately Manchester is an interesting route and so there was plenty to occupy my mind although walking past people cheering you on is an odd experience - I wanted to say "I'm ok I just can't run!", but it was a bit too complicated so I just smiled as much as I could and kept walking.  

A man ran past me and said "Do you know Nicola Forwood?  Tell her not to stand up Mark again!" I'm assuming he was guessing from my HPH vest I would know her, although I don't know who he was - all I saw was the word "Arena" on the back of his t-shirt!

At around mile 20 something else happened to my body that I've only had once before during my fastest running of the Yorkshire 3 Peaks (5 hours 44) and it felt like I had a particularly bad case of Cystitis.  Every time I tried to run was incredibly painful, so I just carried on walking.  I stopped again for an even longer toilet break with less than 5K to go and messaged Alan to apologise for the fact they'd be waiting for ages for me.  

I kept on walking and approached a group of people playing music and heard the chorus of "One Day Like This" by Elbow and as I was walking I could hear it for much longer than if I'd been running past.  It feels like an emotional song for me anyway as it reminds me of seeing them with Alan and with all the emotion you get from running a marathon it made me burst into tears and I spent the next mile sobbing and smiling at the same time as I carried on walking.  I tried to jog whenever I heard music, but my body just wasn't letting me.  

A lady shouted to me at mile 25 "keep going half of Manchester is just there to cheer you on" and she wasn't wrong the support as you get into the final mile is fantastic, which made it all the more embarrassing that I was still walking.

I loved that the last 1K you can pretty much see the finish line and I kept on moving and still couldn't run, even as 2 men dressed as Bert and Ernie overtook me to shouts of people "we can't be beaten by Bert and Ernie!"  

I managed to run for the last couple of 100 metres and spotted Alan who was cheering me on and got over the finish line looking like I might have at least run a bit of it.  I think my running photos will look ridiculous though as I'm definitely crying in at least one of them!

The finish area was a bit confusing (although it's probably just because I was exhausted!) and so I got my medal, soreen, t-shirt and water and went to the toilet (again!) before managing to find Alan and poor Danielle who had finished over an hour before me with an amazing 3 hour 40 time knocking over 30 minutes off her PB. 

My gun time was 4:54.30 - it took me nearly 2 whole hours to do the last 12K!

Some people might say why did I bother finishing, why not take the refuge bus if I was feeling ill, but I know myself well enough on long distance running that I wasn't going to pass out and if I did feel that bad I'd sit down and get some help.  If I'd have known I was likely to feel that poorly when I was running I may not have got to the start line, but I felt absolutely fine when I set off.  Maybe I was ill and didn't realise with a bug or something, maybe I ate something dodgy the day before (the pasta dish from Friday night left out on the cooker all day probably wasn't the best pre-race meal!) maybe it was just not my day - which was a shame as the potential to have a good race was all there on paper.  

Ultimately I'm stubborn, I wanted a medal and I wanted to retain my clean record of always completing a race that I've started and I knew I wouldn't damage myself by doing so.  I know some people criticised Paula Radcliffe when she pulled out of the Athens marathon at mile 22 in 2004 and I'll be honest before I had run a marathon I couldn't understand why she wouldn't limp around for her country and complete the race for her country.  However, as running was her job, she would potentially have destroyed her chances of future success, so I completely get it and I would advise anyone in that situation to pull out and seek help.  If you are only pushing yourself for the sake of it and are actively damaging yourself further, it's not worth it - there are always more races!  You've got to do what is right for your body at that moment in time.

I staggered around and found Alan and Danielle and we managed to get back to the tram station and back to the car and the cystitis feeling was still there and extremely painful.  In the car on the way back Danielle fed us with some home cooked sausage rolls, cheese straws and rocky roads which were all very welcome and very delicious!  NB.  The cystitis thing was awful all evening, but has gone this morning - I did what you are not supposed to do and googled it and found this article which perhaps explains it and also means I perhaps should try and have less anxiety wees!  It''s either a rare running anomaly or one of those things we don't discuss as runners, but perhaps should mention so we don't all feel like weirdos?!

So I'm left feeling disappointed with myself, a little at least, but this is exactly the same time I ran my first marathon at Edinburgh in 2010 to the minute.  Running a marathon teaches you loads about who you are as a person, what you can overcome and having felt less than strong in some areas of my life recently it's been a really positive boost to have at least managed to get myself over the finish line. I definitely maintain running a marathon in 4 hours is much less painful than running it in nearly 5 hours or longer, so I am in massive admiration of runners smashing sub 3 hour times or those completing it in 6 hours, 7 hours or more - they're all huge achievements.  

My last comment is that this is one bad marathon out of 10 that I've run, so don't let it put you off having a try - the most important thing you can do is train well and plan effectively for your day and listen to your body carefully if it doesn't go to plan for you on the day.

And so I now look to putting to bed the ghost of 2018 and this race and running Liverpool in 7 weeks the marathon that I had to miss last year because of my shoulder - wish me luck!

Things that happen when you start to run more and how to make it easier!

It's January and so I'm currently completing 2 challenges - #REDJanuary or "run every day" January by Mind - although you just have to be active to experience the positive physical and mental benefits of activity on health and I'm also doing #64millionartists which is to do something creative every day.  The art challenge today is "Pen to Paper"

The second week of 2019 is coming to an end. How did your week go? What are you thinking about, and who do you want to tell? Today we challenge you to reach out to someone, and tell them something you’d like to share…whatever that might be!
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Put pen to paper, and write a letter. Write something down that you’ve been meaning to say to someone.

I decided to write a letter to myself about all the things that I wish I'd known before starting running in the hope that it helps others who are on a similar journey.

I was 24 when I decided to start running and I was obese (and had very poor mental health).  I'd always been fairly active, so I didn't really consider the two elements together.  All I knew was that I wanted something to work towards and to do something positive so I signed up for my first Race for life and knew that I'd need to train towards it.

I didn't have any friends who ran, and my partner at the time wasn't a runner so we would go to the gym and I'd spend some time on the treadmill.  At first 10 minutes seemed forever!  I couldn't understand how it was possible for me to run any longer, but over a period of around 3 - 4 months I continued to go to the gym and run on the treadmill.  

I remember at one point my ankles were really sore - would I have to stop?  Was running a 5K just too far for me?  Fortunately I rested for a few days, kept training and they stopped hurting.  I started to learn that when you start moving your body more or in a different way to before, some adjustments and niggles are to be expected and more importantly are normal!  
To give myself the confidence that I'd be able to run a 5K "race" (it wasn't even timed!) one evening I stepped on the treadmill and told myself I couldn't stop for 30 minutes and so I managed to "run" my first 5K although I'm pretty sure there were regular pauses of the treadmill to adjust my hair, re-lace my shoes, change the channel on the telly, take a drink etc.  This did give me confidence that even as an obese and previous non-runner I'd be able to get around the 5K for my Aunty Mary who was in remission from breast cancer at that point.  

Race day was fun, it was an evening in the summer after work, it was at Roundhay Park and it now makes me feel a bit sick, but Jimmy Saville was there cheering all the women on.  I ran the 5K and was caught by the hills as this wasn't something treadmill training prepares you for (I had to walk up them all) and was astonished that there was one woman who had finished ages before me and was cheering all the finishers through (how could she run that fast?!).  I think it was around 25.30 when I finished and I was delighted and hooked on running.

From my first 5K in 2004 I went to my first 10K in 2007 (an hour and 20 that took me) and then ran the Great North Run in 2008 and then as a reaction to turning 30 ran Edinburgh marathon in 2010.  I've now been running for over 14 years and I think sometimes I forget some of the things I discovered about my body as I've run more, trained more and learned a bit more about the psychology of diet and exercise (this was actually a module when I studied a bit of psychology in my first year of Uni!).  So here are some things that I have learned as I've run more as someone who has never as an adult been of a BMI stipulated healthy weight.

Chafing
Men seem to talk about this more than women which is interesting as it seems to generally occur for them in their more intimate areas!  Basically up to 5K you'll probably not have to worry about this too much, but there is a chance that if bits of your body are moving more, then more friction will be created in areas that usually don't have to deal with it and this extra rubbing and extra heat leads to chafing.  This is basically a small friction "burn" on your body and can develop during or after a run and you don't always realise until you get in the shower and the hot water hits it.  

The areas that as a lady you're likely to experience chafing are not necessarily obvious and of course it will differ from person to person, but could include:

• Arms - underneath the top part of your arms which people unkindly refer to as "bingo wings" will likely rub more than usual, even if you don't have "wings".  This happened to me even when running on the gym and the chafing became scabs that then fell of when I was running again!  
• How to solve/prevent - there are lots of expensive products you can buy, but my top tip is simply a dab of vaseline or coconut oil (about £5 from Aldi) where you anticipate rubbing might happen and also wearing a "technical" t-shirt rather than a cotton one decreases the friction.  T'shirts rather than vests will help avoid this too so that bare skin isn't rubbing against fabric.  
• The good news - as you run more, this gets better!  I've even run a whole marathon in a vest with no ill affects!  Even having time off with injury I generally find when I up the miles again that this hasn't really returned, although in prep for particularly long runs I'll always pay attention to lubricating this area before setting off
• Boobs (part 1) - Some women have apparently said that they can't run because their boobs are too big.  That it hurts when they run and they feel sore after a run.
• How to Solve/prevent - I've always been top heavy (ranging from 38DD to a 34G) and it's true that if you don't have the right support it's much more uncomfortable to run and it could be enough to put a new runner off.
• The good news - Fortunately after trial and error I have found there are some great bras out there that are in specific sizes and not just S/M/L etc (I sometimes have to stop myself recommending them to strangers who I can see don't have the right support!) I first of all found that Triumph do some great and competitively priced bras and so this was my go to for years and I still have some that I use regularly.  They reduce the motion and are comfortable to put on.  I have found however that the smoother a bra (or indeed any running clothing) that you can wear, the less chafing will be an issue, so I recently on a trip to New York discovered this amazing bra from Under Armour.  At c£50 it's not cheap, but it will last you well and importantly look after your boobs.  It might be tempting to buy something generically sized from a supermarket for £15, but it's likely to not support you well and won't last as long.  And also going for something that allows you to cross over the straps will make you feel more "secure" as there is nothing more irritating than a bra strap slipping off your shoulder when you are trying to run!  Look after your boobs!
• Boobs (part 2) - as I alluded to above, chafing can happen around your boobs, mostly because we have an extra layer of fabric closer to our skin.  
• How to solve/prevent - As odd as it might feel if you are heading out for a longer run, get the lube out and make sure any bits of your body that are pinched particularly by your bra have a good amount applied - also don't forget your nipples! 
• Thighs - Thigh gaps are very rare and are down to the position of our hips, regardless of what weight I've been the tops of my thighs have always rubbed together.  It's important not to get hung up on your body and how it stores fat, mine I think loves to store it on my thighs!  
• How to solve/prevent - I've sometimes headed out for a run in shorter shorts, but the chafing has been painful!  I have learned through trial and error that these lovely double shorts with a cycle short element under a baggy "over" short work best for me in keeping me cool, but also beneficially have *loads* of pockets!  These are my favourites from Ron Hill Of course lube will help avoid the chafe!
• Lower Back - This one surprised me, I hadn't realised that just putting something in the back pocket of my shorts, or wearing a running band with stuff in would have an impact, but if you do this, there is a good chance that you'll get a nice patch of chafing on your lower back - so again an area not to forget to lubricate before a long run.

Sweat 

"Horses sweat, men perspire and ladies only glow" - what rubbish!  I do think that getting sweaty puts some women off running and this sort of gender rubbish holds us back from our own health and fitness, as there isn't much you can do to stop sweating when running it's all about acceptance.  I don't really wear make up generally which is a good thing as I sweat so much it would be sliding off my face in the first minute!  Nonetheless some women I run with manage to look immaculate, so it can be done...only why not take advantage of the one time people don't care what you look like and go "naked" when you go for your runs?  Your skin will get a great chance to breathe and fresh air is a great facial treatment.  Sweat gets in my eyes and if I'm wearing contacts I struggle to see properly...that means that rain or shine I can be found in a buff which is a headband that covers your ears.  Even in winter I'll be wringing out the sweat (especially from my buff) and it also keeps my ears from getting cold!  Sweat can also be a good thing because it's literally fat melting, if you see camels they don't have water in their humps it's fat cells and when fat cells break down they metabolise into water that becomes sweat.  So if you are trying to reduce fat cells - sweat is a sign that your run is working.

Feet - the one thing that always takes a bit of getting used to when you start to run and up the miles is the impact it can have on your feet.  So here are some suggestions:

• Toenails - Everyone knows about marathon runners losing toenails, it sounds really painful, but the reality is usually not as bad as you fear - it basically is just a bit sore and squishing, then the nail kinda lifts off.  It does grow back don't worry and at my biggest mileage I probably ran around with only 6 complete toenails and not much impact to daily life.  If you have a sore toe end, you can buy a rubber toe cap and that will allow you to keep running and always make sure that you keep your toenails cut short!
• Blisters - The good news...genuinely the more you run, the less you blister!  It's very likely you'll pick up some blisters when you start running as your feet get used to extra friction in shoes that will likely be new to you.  Some people say don't pop, but I have generally done it carefully and used sterile equipment and popped a compeed (fake rubber skin) over the top to protect it.
• Compeed top tips - Compeed is amazing!  When I first started marathon training I ended up with sometimes 3 on each foot, I'd put them on places I knew used to always rub, and even now with my feet of sterner stuff, I run with some spare compeed (top tip the green boxes you can pop in a £20, an antihistamine and anything else small and it's also waterproof).  Compeed does take a few days to fall off again as it's strong stuff, so don't do what I did on a few occasions, stick it over a "live" blister in full swing, then pull it off the next day as layers of skin will come off with it - ouch!  You can also use them to cover up painful underboob chafing areas!
• How to prevent blisters - Good socks - for me it's all about thick walking socks, but for some it's specific running socks or wearing two pairs - this is a bit of trial and error and keep going until you find what works for you.  And again...pop a load of lube on - for me I cover both feet entirely in coconut oil or vaseline (NB. if you are using compeed put them on before you oil up!)

Water

This is not limited to ladies, but when I first started running I was convinced that I always needed to run with loads of water.  There's nothing wrong with this, but carrying an extra 1 litre of water is an extra 1 kg of weight and is something you'll hold in your hand which can throw off your running gait.  

• How to solve/prevent - I encourage as soon as you can to try and see if you can get around a short distance without water - be brave - I wish I had been sooner as I can now more or less do a 10 mile run without needing to lug extra liquid around with me.  The joy of contactless on your phone now also means that you can grab a quick drink if you really need to at lots of shops.  Obviously for an off road run or a longer distance, or indeed a hotter day, bring all the fluid you need (and a bit more!
• The good news - You will very naturally find that the more you run the more you understand your body and how much fluid you need, test out different drinks if you feel like you need energy you can try energy drinks (don't leave it to a race to see what Gatorade does to you!)

Nutrition

Again not limited to ladies, but getting your nutrition right is going to help you as you run more.  The cost of not getting your nutrition right can be tough whether it's stomach cramps, lack of energy, or even just an ill timed toilet break.

• How to solve / prevent - Again we are all individuals so trial and error will help.  It can be a morning routine to make sure you get your "pre race poo" out of the way i.e drink a strong coffee at the right time!  After 14 years I've discovered that if I have porridge with nut butter and syrup I can run for 10 miles and need no additional gels or fuel!  Also be sensible the night before a race - a very spicy or unusual meal will likely make you a bit gassy the morning after and you don't want to be trying to hold in a fart and running at the same time!
• Racing nutrition - Try lots of different things when you run, I used gels for years, but I'd have to carry around 8 for a marathon and they made a mess on my hands and get in my hair.  They are easy to digest and work well for people, however I now love shot bloks as they are easy to consume on the go and don't make a mess.  Some people find that they don't need anything unless it's a really long race, but it's all about trial and error.  I remember nearly having a melt down when I forgot my pre race banana at London Marathon 2015, fortunately I swapped it on the train with a lady for my Nakd bar!
• The good news - the more you run, the more you understand your body and what it needs when you run.  

Clothing

Sports clothes are big business and as running has got more and more popular, so has the choice become bamboozling.  The key things to consider are cost and comfort.

If you are just starting out, a lot of supermarkets have great quality running kit at affordable prices.  Try and buy clothing that is "technical" i.e. wicks sweat away rather than cotton that will get heavy and be less comfortable to run in - lots of races now give away technical t'shirts so if you are planning on running a few, don't spend lots of cash on buying them as you'll soon have more than you'll ever need.

Make sure if you are ever running in darker or more remote roads that you have something "hi vis" you'll hopefully never "need" it, but it's always better to be seen quicker to allow a car to slow down if it needs to.

The good news - you get braver, I used to have a vest, t-shirt and cagoule to run in the inclement cold weather, I'd be aghast at crazy people in shorts and vests running off like whippets.  As you get more comfortable running you'll find you need less clothes!  I now have to remind myself to wear slightly less than I think I need as I always get too warm!

Music and headphones

As I ran more I started to enter races where listening to music was banned - how would I manage 10K with nothing to listen to?!?!  As I started running with more friends I'd made from running club and parkrun I realised that you don't always need music, because actually engaging with your surroundings, your breathing and the people around you is better.  I've now run marathons without listening to anything except the crowd!  Now that I'm a qualified LIRF (Leader in Running Fitness) I also realise that people who have run with us and worn headphones are much harder to give instruction to and keep safe!

If you *have* to listen to music, I recommend either just having one headphone in or investing in some headphones like these that conduct through the bones in your head rather than having all the sounds blocked out.

And finally 

You don't have to run to be fast, you don't have to race, you don't have to run a marathon to be a worthwhile person, do what is right for you as running is so personal to everyone... but if you do get the bug and are interested in improving performance, here are some of the learns that got me from a first marathon time of 4 hours 54 down to 3 hours 47 in 6 years.

How to get faster - So these are some things I have learned.

• Run more  - sounds obvious, but it's like anything to improve takes practice so if you want to run further, build up your distance steadily and if you want to run faster try sessions like intervals to see how your body responds to being pushed harder.  You'll learn what works best for you by practicing and trying new things.
• Join a club or parkrun - I spent so many years running alone (I even used the fact that vests would make my arms chafe as an excuse not to join!) I was nervous - why would a club want someone like me?!?  Thanks to parkrun it's so much easier for runners of all abilities to join running clubs and / or run with others, clubs are much better set up to welcome runners regardless of experience and ability and by running with others, you'll accidentally push yourself harder and find that your running improves naturally.
• Lose weight - As I mentioned earlier I've always been an overweight runner and it's simple physics that if you weigh more it's more effort to move your body over a distance.  I had a diabetes scare in 2014.  My doctor told me I was pre-diabetic and when I asked what I could do to stop this developing he said "Your body makes insulin fine, but you have too many fat cells to absorb it properly, if you lose weight, this will improve" and so I did.  I remember running Snake Lane 10 for in 2015 and realising that I was going far faster than I'd run before in a longer distance and wondering why and then realising it was because I was lighter.  You don't to have a crash diet, or aim to be the bottom of your BMI range, just a little weight loss will make the pressure and impact on your joints easier and make it less like for you to be injured, genuinely you'll feel a benefit with only a couple of pounds.
• Self belief - I've written before about my low self esteem and how being competitive in running both satisfies and feeds this issue, but the one thing that held me back from improving for a long time was that I just didn't believe I could get better.   It was only when I got together with Alan and he helped me with marathon training that I was able to push myself to knock 22 minutes off my marathon time in the 2016 Yorkshire marathon which was over an hour and 7 minutes faster than my first attempt 6 years earlier.  Anyone can get better with the right training, nutrition and most importantly attitude.

Running is such a big part of my life that I love to share things that I've learned and I hope that it helps anyone who is a bit newer.  What are your top tips for newer runners?